A Time Best Forgotten
by Anarchist278
Summary: On the outside Haley appears to have it all but what happens when we peel back the curtain and reveal what lies beneath. Behind the fame and stardom there are always other stories.
1. The Woman That No one Knows

**A.N Hi all, well I'm here with a brand new story. It was actually inspired by a challenge set on the writers board that I belong to (Writers911) but well when I started writing it I realised it was going to be much bigger than what the challenge asked for. Now for anyone who likes fluffy stories I will warn you that this is anything but fluff. It has been rated M for a reason please remember that. This is going to be a long and bumpy ride but I hope that you will all stick with me for it. Now for those of you who read The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same I can promise that I'm not forgetting about it and it will be continued its just at the moment I'm just bursting with ideas for this one. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Good or Bad. Reviews definitely inspire me to write more. Ok everybody hang onto your seats the ride is about to begin.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**The Woman That No-One Knows**

She watched as the somewhat familiar streets of Tree Hill, North Carolina whizzed past her window. But although her attention appeared fixed on what lay beyond that pane of glass the truth was that she was not seeing any of it. The only thing she saw was her own bruised and beaten face reflected back at her. This was not the face that had graced magazine covers and performed to sold out audiences in giant arenas. This was a face that she no longer recognised, not only because it had been beaten almost beyond recognition but also because she didn't even know who she was anymore. She could fully imagine how her own mother could pass her in the street at the moment and not pause as familiarity washed over her. How could anyone know who she was when she didn't even know herself?

She felt the car she was in slowing to a stop but made no move to turn away from the window. It didn't matter where she was, nothing mattered anymore. She could hear voices whispering in her mind but steadily they got louder even though she tried to block them out she could hear them again and again. _"You're nothing but trash. Why did I ever marry you? I should have left you in the gutter where I found you_ and her own voice played in her head begging for forgiveness, promising that she would do better but it was always a waste of breath for it didn't matter what she said the beatings would always come. What had happened this last time though had gone beyond anything she had ever imagined possible. The way his fists had bit into her skin, crunching against her bones, spraying her blood around it was far worse than anything that had come before it.

But it wasn't the physical scars she was worried about it was what had come after it, what had happened then had almost broken her. Nothing in her wildest imagination had prepared her for what was to come and the worst part was that she knew that it was all her fault.

A faint tapping sound entered her consciousness and she flinched outwardly until she saw it was the driver tapping on the partition, for a moment she had thought that it was the same sound she had heard so many times before. The impatient drumming of his fingertips against the table as he waited for her to do whatever task he had set for her then. Those fingers that were capable of producing such beauty and yet could cause such harm. She tried to focus her attention onto the man sitting in the front of the car but she could see nothing but the flashes of images in her mind. The way he had smiled at her as he threw her up against the wall, the way she had felt as if his fist was going to go right through her, the way his boot had connected with first her legs and then when she had sagged to the ground unable to stand any longer it had slammed over and over again into her stomach and her ribs. Leaning over he had grabbed her by the hair pulling her up before slamming her face into the floor. _"You're nothing but a trashy little whore. I should have left you there where I found you. But you know what you're my whore and that's what you're going to be forever. You're never going to get away from me. You and me we're going to be together forever and don't you ever forget it. Now get on your knees its time you made me a happy man._ She tried to get up, she really did but she was physically unable. She pushed herself up off the floor trying desperately to raise herself up to a level where she would be able to fulfil his demands terrified of what he would do if she didn't. But no matter what she tried she could not do it eventually she slumped back down admitting defeat to herself. She knew there was no way that she would be getting up from this floor without help.

"I said get up," he screamed at her "if you don't get up right this second I swear I'll make you pay. You'll pay for this for the rest of your life." As he said this he pulled his belt free from his jeans and she cringed inwardly as she saw the outward evidence that he truly intended to go through with this. "Take off your clothes," he said barely even looking at her.

She stared up at him mutely knowing that if she cried or screamed that it would only make him angrier.

His face betrayed no emotion except for his eyes. His eyes gleamed manically for a moment then he pushed her back onto the ground and ripped off her clothes a sick smile gracing his lips as his eyes travelled up and down her body taking in the evidence of his past ministrations in the multitude of bruising dotting her skin. Her entire upper thigh on her right leg was a purple mass of varying shades. Haley saw a certain sense of pride in his eyes as they rested on her thigh and wondered once again what sort of man she had married.

Everything she had been through had been leading to this moment because no matter what happened this was going to end today. That look in his eyes was the last straw and she determined at that moment that even if she had to kill him that this would be the end. His hand stroked over her body and she mentally closed herself off no matter what he did now it didn't matter because she was no longer a part of this. This world didn't exist; it couldn't no matter what she had done in her life nobody deserved to be treated this way. How could there be such a disparity between the two sides of her life, everybody watching her up on stage idolising her believing that she had the perfect life. She pitied them if they only knew what her life off the stage really was she doubted they would watch her with such adoration, she doubted that they would chase her down the streets begging for autographs, if they knew the truth they would look at her with the same disgust she viewed herself with every single time that she looked in the mirror.

What did multiple Grammy awards mean when no one really knew her, none of them saw the person that she was, the person that allowed herself to be degraded in the way that she was in her everyday life, the way she was being degraded even at that moment as he climbed on top of her thrusting himself up into her again and again. She tried to close her mind off from what was happening but a persistent banging would not allow her to drift away the way she normally would at this stage of the beating. She closed her eyes as his hot rancid breath hit her face, she couldn't look at his twisted contorted face as he took what he wanted from her. She knew that she should be feeling pain right now but felt nothing. She didn't feel him ripping her apart as he thrust harder and harder, she didn't feel his fingers tangled in her hair strands of it coming out in his hands. She didn't feel it as he slapped her or as his teeth bit into her shoulder hard enough to break the skin. She could feel nothing, nothing but the sincere longing that she would die in that moment, that it would all end right now. Why couldn't she just die and get it over with, if she didn't die today then it would only be a matter of time because he would not stop until she was dead. She knew that, knew it the same way she knew her own name, sooner or later he was going to kill her that was a certainty. Going into the little box in her mind that allowed her to pretend that she was anywhere but where she was. Abruptly she was pulled out of it as she felt him moving away suddenly and the cry of surprise from him.

Opening her eyes she saw two policemen pushing him up against the wall, one clapping his wrists into handcuffs as the other looked over to where she was.

"Miss are you ok? Miss…." He asked but she didn't respond simply staring as the policeman began to read her husband his rights.

"What…" she started but could not find the words to continue. "Why," she tried again. "Why are you here?"

"One of your neighbours called with concerns and we came right over. By the looks of things here it's just as well we did. I think we should call you an ambulance though."

"No," she tried to protest "No I'm fine. Her words were for naught though as her eyes closed and she slipped into unconsciousness.

She was dragged out of her living nightmare of memories by the sound of the one name she despised above all others.

"Mrs Keller," the driver said. "Mrs Keller, we're here."

She wanted to cover her ears and block out that sound, that disgusting sound that was her name. She never wanted to hear it again, ever in her life but she knew that was an unrealistic hope. She was known all over the world. Haley Keller Recording Superstar. How could she ever hope to escape that moniker?

Picking up her purse she gingerly reached for the door handle, opening it and squinting as the bright sunlight hit her eyes no longer protected by the tinted window. She pushed her hand into her purse pulling out the extra large sunglasses and putting them on grateful for the way they hid half of her face. She allowed her hair to fall forward also covering the majority of what was still displayed of her face. She could hear the voice calling her name but she didn't look up. Instead she walked up the path of her childhood home and walked inside not stopping to acknowledge the woman that stood on the front step. Walking to the stairs she placed her hand on the banister ever so carefully taking a step up almost crying at the sight of the many stairs that still lay before her. But she would not cry she had been through so much and never shed a tear it was going to take something more than some stairs to bring her tears now.

She heard the woman calling out behind her. "Haley please," without turning in the direction of the voice she placed her foot onto the next stair.

"Not now Taylor, not now." Her sister's words dismissed from her mind almost as quickly as the words that left her mouth in response. When she got to the top of the stairs she walked slowly down the hall towards the door that she hoped would bring her to her salvation. For almost as long as she could remember she had been promising herself that if she could just make it there then everything that was wrong with her life would somehow be cured.

Finally she reached the door sucking in a deep breath as she opened it waiting for the inevitable soul cleansing that she was so sure this place would bring. But it didn't happen and she found herself standing in the doorway to a room that had always been a symbol of everything good but now as she looked at it she realised that it was just a room. She could feel a sob rising in her throat but she forced it back down, waiting for a feeling of calm to once again descend upon her, waiting for the numbness to again overtake her. She clenched her fists feeling her nails digging into her palms and once again felt calm. The moment had passed and she was back into her own little world, a world where she would remain forever given the choice.

The room although physically the same seemed somehow smaller than she remembered. She knew though that it was not the room that had changed it was in fact her. She was no longer the same little girl with big dreams she had been when she had been here before she was now a woman, a woman who many would think had achieved her dreams. The dreams that had at one time meant so much to her and now added up to next to nothing.

She walked to the bed carefully lowering herself onto it and grimaced with pain, her mind briefly going to the pain pills the doctor had given her before she had left the hospital. She dismissed them again almost instantly though, she didn't deserve to have her pain even temporarily assuaged. She needed to feel every ache, every stabbing pain and every morsel of hurt that was coming to her, how else could she ever make up for her mistakes. This was her penance.

She heard two sets of footsteps walking towards her room and she held her breath praying that they would continue past. She heard one of them pause outside of her room and felt as if her heart was about to explode out of her chest with the way it was pounding at that moment. Finally after what seemed an eternity but in reality was probably no more than thirty seconds she heard the footsteps moving away from her door and allowed her breath out in a whoosh of relief.

For the next ten minutes she heard her sister's voice rising and falling in what seemed a never-ending litany. At the end of it she heard the slightly high pitched tone of her four year old nephew bidding his mother goodnight and Taylor's response. The door to the child's bedroom closed and she listened to the sound of footsteps once again approaching her door. This time though she knew that they would not simply continue past, this time her sister was going to want to talk. Sure enough she heard them stop at the doorway followed by a soft tap at the door. She remained on her bed doing her best to ignore the persistent knocking at the door, wishing that her sister would simply take the hint and leave. She knew that she had locked the door so there was no way Taylor would be entering unless she actually let her in and there was no way that was going to happen. She stood up slowly from the bed removing her clothes no longer able to bear the feeling of the material against her bruised and grazed flesh. The knocking became louder but still she ignored it blocking it out the way she had become so accustomed to blocking so many things out in her past.

Finally she stood naked peering curiously at herself in the mirror as she traced her fingers over the bandages covering her ribs, fingering the different bruises and scrapes that appeared all over her body. Her skin looked almost like a patchwork quilt with all the different coloured marks and scars. As she stared at it she was completely detached from the reality that this was her body so badly beaten. She appraised it almost the way one would a piece of art that they were viewing for the first time, searching for the hidden meaning amongst all the different colours, certain that if she just looked hard enough there would be some clue staring back at her.

She was so lost in her intense study of her own form in the mirror that she was unaware of the key turning in the lock or the door slowly opening, unaware until she saw Taylor's horrified gaze staring back at her in the mirror and the sharp inhalation of breath as she saw the full extent of the exterior damage done to her sister's body.

"Haley I… Haley…." She stopped there were no words for that moment.

"What's the matter Tay? You seem surprised. What did you expect me to look like? The doctors called you didn't they, they told you what had happened so what the hell did you expect? Look at me Taylor do you see the bruises, do you see the way my lip has been split open? I have a broken arm for Christ's sake? What did you expect me to look like?"

Taylor opened her mouth to speak but closed it again as she realised there was nothing she could say. Haley continued to stare at her hardly, and the thing that struck Taylor the most at that moment was the fact that there were no tears. Her face was completely devoid of emotion as was her voice for while most would have expected words such as those to be delivered with passion and anger there had been no emotion at all. Not anger, sadness, fear or anything the only thing Taylor heard in her voice was recrimination, recrimination against herself.

"Haley I uh…. I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk or you know if you needed anything. Zach's in bed now so if you need anything I'm all yours. Why don't you come downstairs and we can have something to eat maybe watch some TV?"

"Taylor just go away," Haley said quietly. "I don't need food and I certainly don't need TV. Just leave me alone."

"Fine," Taylor replied "You've just got out of the hospital so I can let you get away with that for tonight but if you think this is going to go on after this you have another thing coming. Now get some sleep I'll expect you down at breakfast in the morning. By the looks of you, you can use all the sleep you can get."

Haley walked to the bed not even looking at Taylor as she left the room. She didn't bother to put clothes on simply climbing under the covers nude. Surprisingly sleep came relatively quickly and she slipped into a dreamless slumber not waking till the sun streamed through the still opened blinds the next morning. The sounds of Zach running around giggling downstairs as Taylor chased after him filtered up to her and she grimaced. She wanted nothing more than to remain in her bedroom but the need to go to the bathroom was overwhelming. Getting out of bed she padded as quietly as possible down the hall to the nearest bathroom letting herself in and quickly shutting the door. While in there she heard the doorbell ring and Zach's excited cry's of "Daddy, daddy," she stopped dead frozen in shock. Oh God why hadn't she considered the possibility that he would be coming here? How could she be so stupid?

She could hear the low murmur of his voice as he spoke to his son and the mother of his child. She pressed herself up against the wall as if afraid that he may have developed x-ray vision and could see right through the door and into the room where she was. Her heart was pounding and her breath was coming in short sharp pants and she wondered if this was what it was like to have a panic attack. Then just as she was certain that things could not get any worse she heard Taylor's voice calling up the stairs.

"Haley get down here and say hello. Your breakfast is on the table."

Was her sister insane? How could she yell out to her like that letting him know that she was here? She had been clinging to the slight hope that he would not learn that she was here because if he knew then he would tell…. No she couldn't think about that now. She couldn't allow herself to think his name.

She heard a pounding on the door and shrank back from it terrified.

"Haley open up," Taylor demanded.

Haley briefly wondered if she could go out the window as the pounding continued. She couldn't let him see her. What would he think? What would he say? She couldn't find out. There was no way that she could allow him to see her.

"Haley I swear if you don't open this door right this second, I'm going to get him to come up here and break it down."

Haley shuddered but focused on the one thing she said. He was downstairs that meant that there was still a possibility that she could get back to her room without him seeing her. But if she was going to do that she had to move now. She knew all too well that Taylor would not hesitate to follow through on her threat. Pushing herself away from the wall she rushed at the door unlocking it and wrenching it open. Taylor looked slightly shocked for a moment before regaining her equilibrium.

"Well it's about time," Taylor said her hands planted firmly on her hips as she glared at her. "Right so are you coming down for some breakfast?"

"Tay I promise that I'll come down later but I can't now. I can't let him see me like this. Please," she begged.

"Haley everyone is going to see you sooner or later," Taylor insisted.

"Yes and I will deal with that. I will but right now I just can't. Please Tay just give me a few days."

Taylor stood staring at her for a moment but then sighed impatiently flipping her long blonde hair back over her shoulder.

"Alright fine, but don't think that I don't know what this is about. I'm not going to let you hide from the future forever. Sooner or later Haley you are going to have to confront your past because you know as well as I do that that is the only way you are going to be able to move forward."

Haley scurried back to the bedroom relieved to be allowed to continue to hide away for at least a little longer.

Taylor sighed once again before turning to go back down the stairs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her Zach perched high on his shoulders.

"Is she coming down?" he asked even though he already knew the answer.

She looked at him and shook her head slightly.

"Right well in that case I'm going up there to see her myself."

"Stop," she said desperately as he lifted Zach from his shoulders and began to move up the stairs. "You can't. You don't understand."

"Well then why don't you tell me? Why don't you explain to me why my best friend has suddenly come back and is hiding away up in her bedroom? Why she won't come down here and see me? What does she think she's too good for us now? Miss Grammy award singing superstar." His voice was getting progressively louder with each word.

Taylor leaned over placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "Lucas please you have to understand."

"What," he said his anger almost a visible force around him.

"Luke, he….She…" She paused not knowing how to tell him this. Finally she just blurted it out. "He hit her Luke."

"What?" he asked turning back to her his eyes reflecting his shock.

"He beat her and he raped her. She doesn't want to see anyone."

"God Damn it," Lucas said slamming a hand into his fist. "I knew it. I knew he was nothing but a fucking sadistic bastard. Damn it why did I ever let her go with Chris. I should have stopped her. I should have…" He stopped as he heard the strangled noise coming from Taylor. Opening his arms he pulled her into his chest in a consoling hug.

"It's bad Luke. It's really bad."

"Tay I have to go up and see her, even if she won't see me I have to at least try."

Taylor looked at him beseechingly for a moment and when realising that it was not going to have any effect she shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "Do what you have to do." She said. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

He started up the stairs unsure what would happen. Reaching the door to the room that he had been in so many times during their childhood, he knocked sharply. The knock was met with silence for a moment but as he listened intently he heard movement on the other side of the door.

"Tay is that you?" he heard her ask in a small voice.

"No Hales it's me, please let me in."

"Luke I'm actually really tired right now I'm planning to go back to bed, but come by some other time and we'll talk then ok?"

"Hales I'm not going anywhere so just open the door ok? Please I just need to see you and know that you're ok. I can wait out here all day if I have to."

There was an interminable pause then just when he thought that she was not going to accede to his request the door opened just a crack and she peered at him from the other side.

Reaching out he placed his palm against the door and pushed at it forcing it inwards. He saw the flash of fear in her eyes but she made no move to prevent him from opening it. Seeing her for the first time after eight years he gasped in shock, his eyes slowly moving over the evidence of her ravaged face. Her lip was showing evidence of being recently split open although was beginning to heal, there were bruises around her eyes and there was a cut above her eye that if he had to hazard a guess had been caused by a ring worn on a fist being slammed into her face. Although her petite body was swamped in a terry cloth robe the sleeves had been pushed up over her bony wrists showing more bruises and he had to fight to hold in the anger that welled inside of him. He reached a hand out to brush her hair back off her face but she flinched away moving across the room so that there was now a bed separating them.

"Luke you've seen me now please just go."

"Why did you stay with him Haley? No I take that back how could you stay with him, because I don't understand why you would stay with someone who did this to you?"

"He loved me," she said simply. Turning away she walked to the window completely ignoring his presence. He wanted to speak to her further but could see by the exhausted slump of her shoulders that he would get nothing further from her. Sighing with frustration he turned and walked out of the room but as he reached the door he turned and looked back at her once more.

"I'm here for you if you need me Hales."

He watched the back of her head for a moment waiting for some acknowledgement of his words but there was nothing. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets his shoulders slumped dejectedly and he left the room.


	2. A Man Who Is Lost

**A.N Ok heres the second chapter. Just want to say thankyou to everyone who has reviewed so far. I'm glad that you are enjoying it. This story is going to be an emotional roller coaster and will most likely be a very long story so I hope you're all willing to stick with it for the long haul. A special thankyou to Cheerybroody and Kase who helped me out with this chapter and of course to Jess who helps to preserve my sanity well at least what little of it I still have. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this latest one. The next chapter has been started and should be up in the next few days.**

**A Time Best Forgotten. **

**Part One.**

**A Man Who Is Lost.**

Lucas left the house knowing where he had to go he didn't relish the thought of going there but knew that he had no choice. He had to tell him. He couldn't let him hear it from anyone else; it was nothing short of a miracle that the media had not already found out. He knew all to well that once they did none of them would receive any peace. The thought was enough to make him physically shudder.

All too soon he was pulling into the drive way of the modest house on Fitzgerald St. He glanced at the drive ascertaining that there was only one car in the drive. If he was going to speak to him about this then he had to be on his own, Catherine needed to be out. He let out a sigh of relief as he saw his brother's truck resided alone in the drive but could not force himself to get out of the car. He knew what he had to do but the very thought of going in there and telling him something that he knew would stir up a lot of unresolved tensions had his gut twisting into knots.

He saw movement at the window and caught sight of Nathan peering out at him quizzically obviously wondering why he still sat in his car five minutes after pulling into the drive. Slamming his hand down onto the dash in frustration he tried once more to find the words for what he had to tell him. Finally sighing heavily he stepped out of the car heading towards the door where Nathan already stood holding it open for him.

"What's going on man?" Nathan said by way of greeting.

Lucas tried to be as casual as the younger man as he knocked fists with him but failed miserably. "I have to talk to you," he blurted out without preamble.

Nathan looked at him quizzically. "Ok man but do you want to come in first or do you actually want to have this conversation out on the porch. This is obviously something big so I'm thinking inside might be the better place for it."

Luke said nothing but walked past his brother and into the house. He went straight to the living room waiting impatiently for Nathan to join him.

"Take a seat Luke," Nathan said gesturing to the leather sofa.

"Ah no I think I'll stand," Lucas said watching as Nathan sat. He started to pace back and forth wondering how he was supposed to start this conversation.

"Lucas for God's sake man will you just spit it out already. You're making me nervous."

"Uh yeah before I do though. Are you here alone? I mean Catherine isn't upstairs is she?"

Nathan was seriously starting to have concerns for his brother's sanity at this point.

"Jesus man this is starting to sound like some really lame mafia movie. Let me guess you're about to tell me that you killed somebody and you have to leave the country." He laughed at his own joke waiting for Lucas to join in but instead the older man simply stared at him in disbelief.

"Nathan this is serious."

"Yeah well that much is obvious. So like I said spit it out already. No wait I bet I can guess you had another night on insanity, with a healthy dose of drunkenness and managed to get Taylor pregnant again."

Lucas barely even looked at him. "Nathan for fucks sake will you just shut up and let me speak. I did go over to Taylor's this morning…"

"Oh shit," Nathan broke in "It's not Zach is it? I mean the little guys ok?"

"Zach's fine," Lucas said "But they had a visitor."

Lucas watched as Nathan visibly tensed for a moment before assuming an air of forced nonchalance.

"Oh really and who was that?" he asked deliberately trying to keep his tone light while inside his stomach was churning as his brain kept throwing one name into stark focus. But it couldn't be her, she hadn't been back in this town for years, in fact more to the point it wouldn't be her. She had moved on with her life and left this town and everyone in it for dust.

"It's Haley," Lucas finally paused in his incessant pacing standing in front of Nathan and studied him intently looking for some sort of reaction, but Nathan had become an expert at masking his feelings over the years and Lucas could see the shutters coming down over his eyes hiding everything he was feeling at that moment.

"You came all the way over here just to tell me that? Well man you may as well have saved yourself the trip. Why the hell should I care if she's back in town? She's nothing to me."

"Nathan you know that's not true."

"Don't you dare stand there and try to tell me what I do or don't know Luke. She left; she forgot about everyone here, you, and me, Brooke, Peyton even her family for fucks sake. In all these years since she left how many times did she actually come back to see her family or anyone else? I'll tell you how many a grand total of none. Peyton died and she didn't even come back for her funeral so don't you try to tell me that she gave a shit about anyone other than herself. She wanted a life as a big music star and she got it and she forgot about everyone else. So if her and her darling hubby have finally decided to grace us with their presence well good for them but personally I couldn't give a shit."

He stood up and started to walk out of the room but Lucas followed reaching out and grabbing his arm.

"Nate stop," but Nathan kept walking. Lucas tightened his grip spinning him around to face him.

"He hit her Nate, that bastard beat her up and he…" He took a deep breath and continued in a quieter voice "He raped her."

Nathan froze turning away so Luke wouldn't see the emotions flooding his face. Taking a deep breath he turned back "Well what do you expect me to do about it?"

"What do I expect you to do?" Lucas asked incredulously "I don't expect you to do anything. I just thought you should know."

"Fine well I know now are we done?" he said impatiently.

Lucas stared at him for a moment before exhaling heavily. "Yeah we're done."

"Good then why don't you get the hell out of my house? I have things to do."

Lucas stared at him for a moment longer before turning and walking to the door.

"Call me if you need to talk," he said.

Nathan ignored him staring intently out the window.

After Lucas left Nathan tried to go back to the living room to watch TV but he couldn't focus on the screen. His thoughts were a whirling mass of confusion. Standing up abruptly he strode towards the door grabbing his keys as he went.

He drove aimlessly for hours but eventually he ended up there. Even though he had not consciously admitted it to himself he had known all along that that was where he was headed. He parked his truck on the opposite side of the road and stared across at the house. It felt as if there were elephants doing acrobatics in his stomach at that moment as he found himself looking for any sign of her. He could see Taylor's long blonde hair through the downstairs window as she danced around the kitchen with Zach while she made his lunch but there was no sign of Haley. He didn't even know what he was doing there but something inside of him had forced him to come here. Lucas words echoed repeatedly through his mind _He raped her._ Surely it couldn't be true the Haley James that he had known would never allow herself to get into a situation like that. The man was her husband for Christ's sake what sort of husband would do that.

He could feel the anger coursing through his veins but it was being overshadowed by a stronger emotion. Guilt. The question that kept repeating over and over in his mind was could he have done something to prevent this and the overwhelming answer was yes. His mind flashed back to that day that he had come home and heard her voice on the answering machine she had sounded so lost and alone and he knew she was crying as she asked him to call her back. But he never had. All those years and he had never called her back. He could feel the guilt gnawing a hole in his stomach. He could hardly breathe there was no air in the car impatiently he hit the button that would put the window down. Leaning his head against the dash he sucked in deep lung-fulls of air, trying to calm his racing heart.

A hand on his arm caused him to jerk up in surprise as he was confronted with Taylor standing beside him.

"So are you going to come in or are you going to sit out here all day?"

He stared past her to the house wondering if he had the courage to step through those doors. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement and looked up at her window, the same one he had climbed through on more occasions then he could remember. She stood there looking out at him as his eyes locked onto hers, the shadows of the room preventing him from clearly seeing her but instinctively he knew that it was bad. Whatever it was that he couldn't see it was bad. His fist clenched in his lap and then without warning she turned and walked away from the window. Taylor tightened her grip on his arm drawing his attention back to her.

"Nate are you ok?"

"I uh…. I have to go."

Fumbling he tried to turn the key in the ignition but it was to no avail. Finally succeeding he shook Taylor's hand off his arm and barely gave her time to remove her arm from the vehicle before speeding away. He steered his truck in the direction of home but found himself driving straight past peering over at the drive. Her car was parked there and he sighed knowing that he couldn't face her until he had a chance to get himself under control.

Pulling into a parking space ten minutes later he sat staring out at the waves crashing on the shore. The day that had started off filled with bright sunshine had now darkened considerably. He could see dark thunderheads rolling over the horizon as the wind lashed the trees further up the beach and knew a storm was brewing. Opening the door he stepped out shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he walked towards the shore. The rain started to fall droplets stinging his face but he ignored it continuing to walk. Her face flashed into his mind but he couldn't get a clear image every time he saw it, it was distorted with bruises. Despite the glimpse he had caught of her in the window he had been unable to clearly see the damage to her face. But what he saw in his imagination surely had to be worse than the reality. What he didn't know was that his imagination had barely scraped the surface of how bad it truly was.

So much had happened between them in the past and he had truly thought that he would never see her again. He had accepted that fact long ago and had moved on or at least he had told himself that he had. Now when his life had finally seemed to be getting back on an even keel she was back. When Lucas had come to him that morning with the news that she had returned for a moment all of the old feelings and longings had come back but then he had done what he did best and he had closed himself off. Determined that no matter what else Lucas had said it would not affect him and then those words had escaped his mouth, the words that had torn apart all of his defences, the words that told him that she had been abused not only physically but sexually. No matter what had happened between them in the past nobody deserved that.

The thought of the other mans hands on her had kept him awake many nights after she had first left and then when the news had come through that she was married it had felt as if a part of him had died. The hope that had been burning inside of him even as he told himself that he never wanted to see her again had flickered out in that instant. But never in all the times that he had imagined him touching her had he stopped to consider the possibility that it was anything but what she had wanted to happen. The knowledge that those hands had hurt her in ways that he could not even begin to imagine tore at his gut. The times when he had been with her they had been passionate but there had always been love there and that love would never allow them to deliberately hurt the other person. The way her hands would caress his skin, the way her small body fit to him and he had been so scared the first time they had sex that he would crush her. All these thoughts and memories crowded his mind. How could anyone deliberately want to hurt her like that? Sighing he stopped staring out at the grey stormy waters. He couldn't keep thinking like this the memory of that message left on his answering machine kept playing over and over in his mind until finally he forced it out.

Opening his mouth he let out a yell of frustration. "SHE MARRIED HIM. IT WAS HER CHOICE." The wind caught his words tearing them from his mouth and carrying them away to parts unknown.

He was soaking wet by this stage and turned back to walk in the direction of his truck. He drove back towards his house his mind blessedly blank. Pulling into the drive he walked unhurried towards his front door, he was already dripping wet what difference would a little more rain make.

Opening the door he could smell the aromas of dinner cooking. He glanced towards the door to the kitchen as she exited wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up," she said with a smile.

"Uh we didn't have a date tonight did we?" he asked slightly confused. "I thought I wasn't seeing you again till next week,"

"Well I thought I'd surprise you, things have been so busy at the hospital the last few days that I feel as if I've barely laid eyes on you let alone anything else." She said with a playful grin. "Now why don't you go have a shower while I finish up? You look like a drowned rat although I will say that you make a pretty damn sexy drowned rat."

He turned and walked to the stairs obediently heading for the shower. He needed a chance to prepare his mind for a night in Cathy's company. He had thought that when he arrived home that he was back to normal or as close to normal as he was likely to get but he had barely even been able to look at the woman he had been seeing for the past eight months let alone speak to her.

The hot water beat down onto his back as he tried desperately to forget everything he had learned that day. He could barely believe that he was not in the middle of some insane dream surely this sort of thing didn't happen in reality. This didn't happen to people he knew this was the kind of thing that you saw in movies or read about in newspapers. It happened in low class areas amongst people living in trailer parks not in New York City, not to the rich and famous. Not to Haley.

Turning the jets off he stepped out of the shower briskly towelling himself off before going to the bedroom to find some dry clothes. He pulled a pair of jeans from the drawer before grabbing a t-shirt and tugging it over his head. He ran his fingers through his damp hair before walking downstairs determined to put the day's events out of his mind and simply concentrate on Cathy.

Walking into the kitchen he saw the table set complete with candles flickering brightly in the dim room and sighed. It was going to be a long night that much he was certain of. But he would try; he would try not only for his sake but for Cathy's. Sure he knew he didn't love her not in the way that he should but he also didn't want to hurt her. They had enjoyed each others company over the past months and he was not about to throw that all away now.

She sat opposite him chattering away during dinner and he forced himself to concentrate on her words. Her eyes danced in the candlelight as she relayed yet another anecdote of the antics of one of the hospital orderlies. Finally he found himself no longer having to pretend interest in what she was saying as his mind cleared and he simply allowed her words to wash over him. When they finished dinner he stood starting to gather their plates and glasses to take them to the dishwasher. As he reached over to take her plate she grasped his arm.

"Nate why don't you leave the dishes until tomorrow? I can think of much better things for us to be doing."

Her image flashed into his mind but he forced it away.

"Oh really," he said "well then why don't you show me?" Yes this was the answer sex. Sex had always worked in the past when his mind was working overtime. Surely it could be the answer again.

"I intend to," she said standing up and sliding her arms up around his neck tugging his head down so that she had access to his mouth. She traced her tongue gently around his lips and heard his groan as his arms slid around her pulling her in hard against his body. He kissed her hard forcing her mouth open and sliding his tongue inside exploring every crevice of her mouth.

"I think we better go upstairs," he grunted as he felt her small hands sliding up underneath his shirt.

He slid his hands inside her skirt pushing it down off her hips so that it pooled on the floor. She pulled her shirt off so that she stood there in nothing but her bra and panties and a pair of high heeled sandals her lips never leaving his. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he made his way up the stairs. They reached his bedroom and he kicked the door open lowering her onto the bed as he followed her down. Lifting himself up from her momentarily he removed his shirt dropping it to the floor as her hands eagerly undid the button on his pants. The zipper scraping against his erection as she impatiently tugged it down. He had to restrain his groan as she quickly pushed his boxer shorts out of the way and stroked his throbbing length.

He slid a finger inside her panties stroking against her moist core and felt her squirms of pleasure. Her tongue traced along his jaw and he sucked in his breath. This was what he needed; he needed just to fuck and forget about everything else, to lose himself in the woman beneath him. He grabbed a condom from his bedside table before positioning himself at her entrance. He started to slide himself in as he felt her hand grip his face turning him so that he was facing her. He kept his eyes closed pushing against her tight entrance. He heard her voice saying his name and opened his eyes looking at her and froze. _Oh God what was happening here? _He could no longer see Cathy's face staring back at him instead he saw her. He saw Haley her face bruised and battered as she looked at him accusingly. _You let this happen to me_ he heard her voice telling him accusingly in his mind. _This is all your fault. How could you Nathan? How could you?_ Her beautiful face no longer flawless but marred with bruising.

He jerked back trying to refocus his vision but still her face floated tauntingly in front of him. _You did this_ her voice echoed over and over again. He felt a hand come up to rest on his arm and stared down at it terrified of who would be on the end of it.

"Nathan?" he heard Cathy's voice ask almost pleadingly. "Nathan what's wrong?"

"Huh," he said as he finally focused on her laying on the bed looking up at him quizzically, her eyes full of concern.

Her image flashed once more through his mind and he visibly flinched.

"Ah I'm just not feeling very well. I think it must be something I ate. Yeah ah come to think of it that burger I had at lunch really didn't smell too good."

Her hand came to his forehead immediately slipping into nurse mode as she heard his explanation. "You do feel a bit hot," she said "perhaps you should get some sleep. I'll stay and make sure you're ok."

"No," he said abruptly causing her to look at him with hurt in her eyes. "I mean what if it's not food poisoning. I don't want to give you anything. Besides I don't want you to see me throw up."

"Nathan," she said patiently "I'm a nurse I've seen plenty of people throw up."

"Yeah but you're not here to be a nurse and ah how will I ever get you to sleep with me again if you spend all night emptying my sick bucket? I have an image to protect you know," he said trying to laugh it off even as his gut churned and he wondered if maybe he really was going to throw up.

He had to get her to leave, he needed to be alone and he needed to be alone now. She was still looking at him doubtfully obviously unsure whether her conscience would allow her to just leave him when he looked so ill.

"Look Cathy I promise I'll call you in the morning if I'm not feeling any better but I really just need to get some rest now so do you think you can see yourself out."

"If you're really sure," she said still not sounding convinced. "I don't like leaving you alone like this."

"I'm sure," he said abruptly before realising how he sounded. "I really appreciate that you want to stay but I just think it would be better if you go. I'll call you in the morning I promise."

"Ok," she finally agreed and he found himself fighting to disguise the sigh of relief that escaped his lips. She stood from the bed hastily gathering her underwear and putting it on.

"Well you should definitely get some rest and I'll speak to you in the morning," she said still sounding slightly reluctant to leave but to his relief she turned and left the room. A few minutes later he heard the front door closing and the sound of her car starting up and he fell back onto the bed heaving a sigh of relief.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why would her face plague him like that? Being with Cathy had been supposed to make him forget about everything but instead he had found himself more vividly reminded of her than he could remember being any time recently.

Standing up from the bed he stalked frustrated across the room. Going downstairs he walked out to stand on the deck and placed his hands on the railing staring up at the sky he doubted that he'd be getting any sleep tonight. He couldn't take the chance that he would close his eyes and once again her face would appear battered, bruised and accusing. What had happened to her was all his fault. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself that it had been her choice to marry the other man he knew that if he had wanted to he could have prevented it. What was worse was that he could have saved her from it a long time ago if he had just returned her call. He was almost as much at fault in this scenario as the bastard who had done this to her and no-one would ever convince him otherwise. Leaning over the railing he retched over and over again as everything he had eaten that day spilled from his mouth. Until finally there was nothing left but still he didn't stop as the bile rose in his throat. Finally it ended and he slumped to the ground racking sobs rocking his entire body.


	3. The Woman That Nobody Forgot

**A.N I know these updates have been coming thick and fast and I'm probably unnecessarily raising all your hopes that I will be able to continue with this frenetic pace but to be honest at the moment I am so caught up in this story that I just can't stop typing. LOL. Well I hope you all enjoy it. The reviews that I have been recieving so far have been phenomenal and I have been overwhelmed so thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. Let the angst continue.**

**A Time Best Forgotten.**

**Part One.**

**The Woman That Nobody Forgot.**

Taylor sat at the table completely at a loss as to what she should do next. It had been two days since Haley had returned and she had barely seen her. She had tried to drag her from her room but had been unsuccessful. She had considered withholding food from her until she came downstairs but the truth was that she was scared that Haley would just not eat. So she had taken to leaving food trays outside of her room hoping that if she at least kept her fed then she would heal enough that she could start to deal with her mental scars. But enough was enough and today she had finally reached the end of her rapidly fraying rope. Zach was in his room napping and Taylor was on a mission. She filled the bathtub to almost overflowing with tepid water determined that this wake up call would have the desired result.

On the rare occasions that Taylor had seen her in the past few days leaving the sanctity of her bedroom only to use the bathroom Haley had barely even looked at her not bothering to respond to a single question or acerbic barb directed at her by Taylor. She had tried everything cajoling her, screaming at her even ignoring her but nothing had worked. Haley remained locked in her own world, hidden away from everything that could hurt her, oblivious to everyone and everything around her.

Taylor grabbed the bucket dipping it into the rapidly filling tub and bringing it out brimming with water. She shut off the faucets and stalked towards Haley's room taking out her key she opened the door. She was sick and tired of knocking on the door and being ignored and she was not going to do that anymore. Now she just let herself in and waited for Haley to acknowledge her presence but Haley remained where she was lying on her bed facing away from the door. Taylor put down the bucket and walked over to the bed.

"Haley get up we need to talk."

"Go away Taylor," she responded not even bothering to turn her head to look at her sister as she made her demand.

"This is my house damn it Haley and if I say we're going to talk then we are going to talk. Now its time to cut the shit, you've been holed up in here ever since you got back."

Taylor stopped, breathing hard after her outburst waiting for Haley's response. But she still didn't even look at her.

"Fine if that's the way you want it," Taylor said storming over to the doorway where she had left the bucket of water. Picking it up she tossed it over Haley and watched as she finally showed some sign of life shrieking as she got up from the bed her movements still hampered by her injuries.

"Taylor what the hell are you doing?"

"I told you we need to talk." Taylor said hands on hips glaring at her.

"I have nothing to say to you or anyone else for that matter so why don't you just leave me the hell alone and if it's such an issue for you that I'm in your house then I'll leave but you might want to remember that I grew up here too."

Taylor sighed exasperatedly. "Haley I don't want you to leave but for God's sake will you at least get out of your pyjamas and come downstairs once in a while. Zach is confused he keeps seeing some strange lady walking between here and the bathroom. Don't you think it's time you spent some time with your nephew."

"Why would he even care Taylor he doesn't even know me?"

"Yeah well whose fault is that Haley? You're his aunty and he doesn't know you from a bar of soap."

Haley turned away from her biting her lower lip the way she did when she was anxious about something. "I can't Taylor, he's three years old I'd probably scare him if he saw me like this. I don't want to do that to him. Seeing me like this would probably give him nightmares. Do you really wish that on him?"

"Actually Haley he's four and trust me he's tougher than you think he is. I can't believe you don't even know how old he is. He'd have to be tough with me for a mom right?" she said with a hint of sarcasm.

Haley felt the smallest semblance of a smile cross her lips and immediately forced her face back into its neutral state she couldn't remember the last time she had smiled it felt like a lifetime ago. She didn't deserve to smile. No-one as dirty as her did.

Taylor stared at her a moment more before groaning with frustration and walking out the door. The idea of forcing Haley into the partially cold tub of water forgotten, she was pretty sure it would do no good anyway. If she wouldn't listen to her then maybe there was someone that she would. It wouldn't be an easy call to make but it would be worth it if she could just get them to listen. At this stage she wasn't sure that there was another person that could get through to her. She had been considering the possibility of calling her all day but had prayed that there would be some other answer and now she knew that there wasn't.

Going downstairs she pulled out the piece of paper that she had jotted the number on that morning and not allowing herself to think for another moment punched in the numbers. She listened to it ring half with nervous anticipation half with impatience she was terrified of hearing the voice on the other end of the phone and with each passing second the urge to hang up grew stronger. But she forced herself to remain on the phone and then just when she was sure that there would be no answer she heard the click to indicate someone had picked up followed by a breathless "Hello,".

She took a deep breath and burst into speech. "Brooke its Taylor…Uh Taylor James. I was wondering if we could talk."

There was an incalculable pause and Taylor could almost hear the wheels turning in the other woman's head.

"What could you possibly want to talk to me about?" she asked sharply but behind it her natural curiosity shone through. But there was a guarded edge to her tone as she asked the question almost as if she dreaded to hear the answer to her question.

"It's Haley," Taylor said half expecting the phone to slam down in her ear but the only sound she heard was the steady breathing of the woman at the other end of the phone.

"Well I'm afraid if that's the case then I'm not interested. Call someone else."

"Brooke I know how you feel about her and I get it I really do but there is no-one else for me to call. Do you think if there was that I would be calling you? You don't want to talk to me anymore than I want to talk to you but this isn't about me and you this is about Haley."

"Yeah well you see Taylor here's the thing I personally couldn't care less about either of you. Haley had her chances and she blew each and every one of them now if you don't mind I was on my way out the door when you called and I really should be going. Actually you know what I don't give a shit if you mind or not. As far as I'm concerned this conversation is over." But before she could slam down the phone the way she so longed to do Taylor's voice reached her again.

"Brooke please you don't understand. Haley she's not in a good way. She really needs her friends right now."

"Well then I suggest you call them. Oh wait unless she doesn't have any anymore. Let me guess she blew off all her celebrity friends the same way she blew off me and…" There was a pause before she continued "me and Peyton."

"Brooke Chris is in jail."

"Yeah well from what I've heard about the way his singing career has been going lately that might be the best place for him. From what I've heard he's been murdering his songs lately anyway but hey I guess that's what happens when the drugs start meaning more to you than the music. Don't bother trying to deny that he has a drug problem I've seen the pictures just like everyone else." Brooke said cattily.

"Brooke he's in jail for rape and assault. He attacked Haley and from what the doctors can tell it wasn't the first time not by a long shot."

Brooke paused and for a moment Taylor could have sworn that she heard her whisper "I knew it," before assuring herself that she must have been mistaken. There was no way Brooke could have already known about this was there? There was something nagging at the back of her mind begging for further attention but she pushed it aside for now she had to concentrate on Brooke in the here and now.

"Please Brooke can you come back to Tree Hill. I can't get through to her and if someone doesn't soon I don't know what will happen. I'm terrified Brooke I wouldn't be calling you if I wasn't."

Brooke knew in her heart that that was true. She and Taylor James had decided long ago that they had nothing to talk about and would both be quite happy never to see each other again. There had never been anything that could be described as a friendship between the two but they had both tried for Haley's sake but once she had gone there was no need to pretend any longer and the two had slipped into polite civility on the rare occasions they were forced to spend any time together in the same room. That was until the news had come out that Taylor was pregnant with Lucas' child. Brooke had left town soon after but not without offering the pregnant woman a few choice phrases on exactly what she thought about her.

But it was not only her feelings towards the elder James sister that was preventing her from saying an immediate yes. There were also a great many things that had occurred between her and Haley in the past that gave her cause for hesitation. She had tried a long time ago to help Haley and had had it thrown back in her face and could think of no reason why should she put herself through that again. She sincerely doubted that there would be any gratitude on Haley's part and it would also mean subjecting herself to the pain of seeing Lucas with his family. Sure she knew through the people that she still kept in touch with in Tree Hill that Lucas and Taylor had never really made a go of their relationship despite their best efforts for their child, but seeing Lucas with his child was going to be something that she wasn't sure she could bear. It was hard enough knowing that another woman had given him the child that she herself had hoped to one day bless him with but to actually see them that was another thing altogether. Sure she had made a life for herself in San Diego but that didn't mean that there was a day that went by that she didn't think about Lucas and what might have been. Sighing she forced her thoughts away from Lucas this was not about him, this was about Haley.

She wanted to harden her heart to the other woman that had once meant so much to her and refuse to go to her in her time of need but she couldn't help imagining the anguish the other woman must be going through. She had never been raped herself and could only begin to imagine how hard it must be for her and to have it happen at the hands of your husband the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone. She didn't want to think about the sort of emotional scars that must have left.

Just as Taylor was starting to wonder if perhaps she was listening to nothing more than dead air she heard the other woman sigh before saying in a quiet voice "I'll come. Just give me a few days to organise a flight and sort out my work but I'll be there by Tuesday night at the latest."

"Thanks Brooke, ah if you need anywhere to stay you could always…"

But she didn't get to finish as Brooke cut her off almost immediately. "That won't be necessary," she assured the other woman before hanging up the phone. She may be starting to doubt her sanity by agreeing to return to Tree Hill but she wasn't ready for the Looney bin yet and the only way she would ever stay in that house with Taylor James and her child was if she took complete leave of her senses.

Sighing she sat staring at the phone in shock hardly able to believe the conversation that she had just taken part in. If she didn't know better she would almost swear that it had been a dream but deep down she knew that it had been real and as hard as it had been she had made the right decision. Whether she would still think that when she arrived back in Tree Hill remained to be seen but she couldn't allow herself to worry about that now or she would talk herself out of going. The temptation to do just that was strong but she fought it. Just because Haley had let her down well that didn't mean that she had to do the same. Besides it would only be for a week at the most she would fly down there visit with Haley and then she would come back here. She would come back and resume her life and once again put Tree Hill and all of its inhabitants behind her.

Standing up she walked to the desk searching through her organiser for the number for her office she needed to let them know as soon as possible that she would be leaving town for a few days and someone else would need to fill in with her clients. Then she needed to call the airline and arrange a flight and after that she would need to organise someone to keep an eye on her apartment and feed her fish. There was a lot to do if she was going to leave town in the next couple of days.

For the next few hours she kept herself busy running around taking care of errands and making phone calls. She barely paused to eat the microwave dinner that she pulled from a freezer filled with them. When finally she was done she went upstairs to take a long hot soak in the tub and try to rid her mind and body of the steadily growing anxiety that the thought of her return to Tree Hill filled her with. After finishing she got out towelling herself dry quickly before dressing in a camisole and pyjama bottoms and crawling into bed. Physically she was exhausted but her mind continued to race leading her to realise that sleep was going to be a long time in coming.

Her mind drifted back to the day in New York when she had found out the truth about Mrs Keller and her so called fairy tale marriage. She had arrived at their apartment full of sadness and apprehension. She and Haley had barely spoken since the latter had left Tree Hill and Brooke surmised that they were probably both at fault but this was something that Haley needed to be told about and she had to find out in person a phone call would not suffice. That was what led her to be standing outside the door to the penthouse on the cold wintry New York afternoon gathering the courage to knock.

Finally she raised her hand to the door knocking sharply and hoping for a response. She prayed that Chris would not be here she needed to talk to Haley without his domineering presence. She could hear someone standing at the other side of the door and once again hoping that luck was with her and it would not be Chris she called out. "Haley is that you, it's me Brooke I have to talk to you."

She could hear the nervous shuffle of feet on the other side of the door and growled impatiently. "Haley will you please open up the damn door? I really need to speak to you."

"Um now really isn't a good time Brooke. I'm actually kind of busy."

"Screw that Haley I did not just come all the way from Tree Hill for you to just refuse to see me now open the door goddamn it."

"Brooke please I told you now is just not a good time. Look I'll um call you tomorrow or something."

"Haley we have to talk now. Damn it why are you being so stubborn. I've come here trying to do the right thing so you don't have to get this news over the phone and you won't even let me in. Guess that's what I get for giving a shit huh? Well don't worry I won't make that mistake again." She turned and began to flounce away from the door. She was furious with Haley but she was just as angry with the world. If there was any justice then she wouldn't have to be here anyway. Peyton would be alive and Brooke would not be left with the job of telling one of her oldest friends that she was dead. As if it wasn't hard enough just dealing with the news herself she had felt the need to actually come here in person to deliver the news to Haley but fat lot of good that had done her. She should have known better it had become increasingly obvious that Haley didn't give a fuck about anyone anymore other than her rock star husband and her fake ass celebrity pals. She hadn't bothered to keep in touch with any of the ones that she had left behind and that had hurt Brooke more than she cared to admit. So why had she come here today thinking that anything would be any different? Why had she convinced herself that Haley did give a toss about anyone other than herself? She didn't know the answer to any of those questions and at that moment she wished she could say that she didn't care enough to find out but she knew that that wasn't the truth. Sighing with frustration she turned around determined to give it one more try.

To her surprise she found Haley standing in the doorway waiting for her, the majority of her face hidden behind a curtain of hair. For someone who was making millions she apparently didn't employ a very good stylist Brooke couldn't help but think as she took in her appearance. She was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt both of which appeared to be swimming on her and neither one of them appeared to be in the best condition. _God _Brooke thought _so much for the lifestyles of the rich and famous._ "Come in," she said simply standing back so Brooke could precede her into the apartment.

Brooke looked around her taking in the magnificent décor of the room they stood in "Wow," she said slightly awestruck "this is some place." _Maybe this fame thing does have its perks._

Haley led them over to where they could sit comfortably and sat down indicating that Brooke should do the same. Brooke couldn't help but notice that Haley was limping slightly as she walked and silently wondered what had happened. Looking over at the woman sitting opposite her she couldn't help but notice that Haley wasn't even looking at her, she kept her gaze planted firmly on her feet, her hair still masking almost all of her face. Brooke could feel her anger beginning to grow as she wondered why Haley had even bothered to invite her in if she was now going to ignore her but she tamped down on those feelings forcing herself to concentrate on the issue at hand.

"Haley um the reason I'm here well…. I don't really know how to tell you this. Haley, Peyton's dead. She was hit by a car yesterday."

Haley's head shot up at her words all thoughts of protecting herself from Brooke's piercing gaze forgotten as she absorbed the news. Brooke gasped in surprise as she saw the ugly bruising surrounding Haley's left eye.

"Oh my God Haley what happened?"

Haley flinched as her hand automatically went to her face attempting to hide the evidence from Brooke's all seeing gaze. "I uh…Well it was quite silly really I tripped while I was in the bedroom the other day and hit my eye on the corner of my bedside table. Only me huh?" she said lightly trying to laugh off the concerned look in Brooke's eyes. "You know what a klutz I am always falling over something."

Brooke stared at her disbelievingly seeing the truth behind the other woman's words. She could pretend that everything was fine but Brooke saw right through her pretence right to the heart and soul of the matter. "Haley how long has this been going on and don't bother trying to tell me that there isn't anything going on I've seen the way you're limping and that bruise is not from tripping over. God Haley what do you take me for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Brooke." Despite Brooke's warning Haley still attempted to deny the truth blazing blatantly from her eyes.

"Haley get your bags we're getting you out of here right now. Just grab what you need we'll buy anything else when we get to Tree Hill."

"Brooke don't be crazy I'm not going to Tree Hill with you my life is here so is my husband. I'll um talk to Chris about coming to the funeral but I uh don't think that day is good for us."

"Haley I haven't even told you what day the funeral is now cut the shit you and I need to get out of here now. You cannot stay here."

"Brooke I told you I'm not going anywhere now as for the funeral well perhaps you can tell me when it is and I'll see what I can do about being there."

Brooke stared at her incredulously. "You can not stay here. Haley he hit you for fucks sake."

"How dare you," Haley yelled at the other woman. "How dare you come in here and start making accusations against my husband. Everything is perfect between us and I resent you for implying otherwise."

"Haley look I just care about you. I don't want to see you be hurt and no man who would do this to you deserves any of your loyalty."

"Brooke you don't know a damn thing about us now I think you should leave. Call me when you have the details of the funeral and like I said I'll do my best to be there."

"Haley please I'm begging you just come with me."

"Brooke you don't know what you're talking about now get the hell out of my house before I call security."

"Fine," Brooke yelled back her own anger finally getting the best of her but you just remember this day. You remember that I offered you a way out and you wouldn't take it. I'll see you at the funeral."

Grabbing her purse she stormed out the door not saying another word and slammed it behind her.

Lucas had noticed how upset she was when she had returned from New York but she had fobbed him off telling him that since her best friend in the world just died she was more than a little entitled to be upset. She could see in his eyes that he didn't really believe her but he hadn't pushed her on it resolving to ask her after the funeral. But that opportunity had never come and now here she was almost five years later preparing to return to the one place she had promised herself she never would. She was going home.

Less than two days later she sat in her rental car driving towards Tree Hill. She was going through a myriad of emotions nervousness, fear, and self doubt but although she wished she could deny it there was also a certain degree of excitement. This was her chance to prove to herself that she was a different person to the broken woman that had walked away from her home town five years ago. She could show them all that no matter what they had done to her she had survived and not only survived but flourished.

An image of Haley's face complete with black eye just the way she had seen her the last time popped into her mind and she exhaled heavily. She wasn't sure what she could do for the other woman. She hadn't wanted to listen last time so what on earth was going to be different now. Her words to her five years ago had obviously had no effect as evidenced by the huge wreath of flowers that had arrived on the day of Peyton's funeral. There had been a card expressing her condolences and a note from her giving her apologies that she would be unable to attend the funeral. Until that moment Brooke had allowed herself to hope and even believe that Haley would come back that she would not be able to stay away from one of her oldest friends funerals. The moment she had seen that wreath of ridiculously expensive flowers that hope had died as had any remnants of their friendship that had remained.

At least that was what she had told herself and she had remained convinced of that right up until Taylor's voice had delivered the verification of her long held suspicions. Even though she had known it deep down she had pushed that knowledge aside refusing to admit to it consciously until it had been thrust so blatantly in her face. Now she knew and she could no longer pretend to herself or anyone else that she didn't. She had to return to Tree Hill and face up to the many demons from her past and somehow attempt to help the one person who was probably the last person who wanted her help.

She pulled the car up in front of the James house and looked at it apprehensively. There were two cars parked in the drive but there was little sign of movement inside the house. Getting out of the car she walked to the front door ringing the bell and waited nervously for an answer. She had prepared herself mentally for the anguish she was sure she would feel seeing Taylor and her child but she was not prepared for the sight that greeted her. The door opened and she froze taking in the image in front of her wordlessly.

"Oh my God Brooke?"

"Hi Lucas," she said deliberately keeping her tone light as she took in the sight of the man she had loved for the better part of her life and his child perched high on his shoulders. In that moment her heart broke all over again.


	4. Realities Of The Past

**A.N Sorry this update has been a bit slow in coming. I've been blown away by the response to this story and I appreciate each and every one of you who has taken the time to review. I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. Just want to let you all know about a fantastic story that hilaryhilary has recently started. Its a fantastic story and is titled A Life Less Ordinary take my advice and check it out and if you love it as much as I do leave her a review. Look forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on this chapter. I'll do my best to have another one up by the end of the weekend.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**The Realities Of The Past**

Haley could hear a commotion downstairs but was reluctant to leave her room to find out what it was about. Zach was crying and she could hear raised voices and for the briefest of moments she could swear that she heard Brooke's voice but quickly told herself that that was impossible. There was no way Brooke Davis would set foot in the same house as Taylor James without damn good reason. She froze as a terrifying thought crossed her mind. No there was no way that Taylor would not do such a thing she tried to tell herself. Yes her sister was worried but to actually call Brooke and ask her to come here. Surely it was impossible.

Even as she thought this Brooke's voice carried clearly up the stairs as if to verify her most deeply held fear at that moment. "Look I didn't come here to see any of you. I'm here for Haley and that's it so why don't you just point me in her direction so I can get this over with."

_Oh God she can't come up here._

"Brooke maybe you should let me go first," Lucas told her. "I can tell her that you're here and see if she wants to see you."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Brooke screeched rounding on Taylor "you didn't tell her that I was coming. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I just thought it would be better to wait until you got here…" Taylor trailed off as she saw the way the younger woman was glaring at her. Suddenly there was a shift in her attitude as the real Taylor James shone through. What the hell was she doing? She wasn't going to stand here and take this shit from anyone especially not little miss perfect Brooke Davis. "You know what," Taylor said planting her hands on her hips "I don't have to explain myself to you. This is my house and I'll do whatever the hell I please now if you want to go up and see Haley well you know the way. She's in her old room. Try not to trip over your ego on the way up."

"Tay," Lucas said placing a soothing hand on her shoulder "Brooke came here to help ok. She didn't have to but she did so maybe you should lay off a bit. It doesn't matter how you feel at the moment what is important is what's best for Haley and you wouldn't have called Brooke if you didn't believe she could help in some way."

Brooke turned to Lucas her eyes spitting venom as she saw the way his hand rested on Taylor's arm. "I don't need you to fight my battles for me. What do you think you are a god damn mediator? Well let me tell you one thing right now Mr Scott. I don't need your help and I sure as hell don't want it. I may be back in town for a few days but I think it would be a hell of a lot easier if we just stay out of each others way ok. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go and see Haley. God knows she probably needs me if she's been relying on the two of you for the last few days." With that said she angrily flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder and headed up the stairs towards Haley's old room.

Haley looked at the door apprehensively waiting for the knock that she knew was coming, she considered locking it but knew that there was little point as Taylor would undoubtedly just give Brooke the key. She glanced at herself in the mirror there was no time to put makeup on and try to hide the still blatantly obvious evidence of Chris' fists on her face. She moved as fast as her broken body would allow to close the blinds hoping that if nothing else she could at least make it more difficult for the other woman to get a clear look at her face. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was sure that it was about to burst through her ribcage and shatter the already broken bones of her chest.

She could hear the click of her heels as she moved determinedly towards the door and knew that there was no escape from Brooke. If there was one thing that she knew from growing up with Miss Davis it was that there was no getting away from Brooke when she was on a rampage. She stared at the door trying to prepare herself for the moment when that knock would come but she may as well not have bothered as the door flew open and Brooke stood on the threshold peering into the dim room her hands planted firmly on her hips.

"So," she said walking into the room and coming closer to where Haley sat on her bed her hair once again hanging over her face. "You decided to come back. I have to say I was surprised when I got that call from Taylor not so much at the state she said you were in but at the fact that you finally broke away. Although I guess it wasn't really from choice now was it. So tell me Haley if those police hadn't come when they did would you be here now? Would you actually have left that bastard that you called a husband?"

Haley stared at her shocked she had always known that Brooke was not one to mince her words but she had not expected this from her. But then she didn't know what she had expected from her, she knew that Brooke was hardly likely to come in here playing the Good Samaritan and cajoling her into telling her what had happened. But she had expected there to be some sort of sympathy from the woman she had called a friend for the better part of high school.

Brooke stared at her, now that her eyes had adjusted to the dimness of the room she could clearly see the damage inflicted on her old friend. But it wasn't only the physical evidence that she could see it was the look in her eyes the lack of spirit shining out. Haley had always been someone that looking into her eyes you could read her like a book but now there was nothing, nothing but darkness pouring out from her soul. It hurt Brooke to see her like that but she couldn't help but remember the last time that she had seen her the way she had begged her to leave that monster of a man that she had married and the way Haley had turned her away refusing her help. It had been one of the most difficult things she had ever done that day walking away from that penthouse apartment in New York City but she had known that there was nothing she could do for her then. She couldn't help someone who didn't want to be helped. Haley would be beyond help until she admitted to herself that what was occurring in her everyday life was wrong and so Brooke had bided her time hoping that one day her phone would ring and it would be Haley finally admitting that she was ready for help. But that call had never come and although she knew it had been a vicious thing to say she knew that if Chris Keller was not in jail right now that Haley would still be in New York right by his side allowing the atrocities that he committed against her on a daily basis to continue.

Brooke herself could not imagine being that much under someone else's control and allowing another person to have such power over her. She was and always had been a self sufficient woman. She had made the mistake of opening up her heart when she was very young and although she had been slow in learning the lesson she had eventually learnt it the hard way. She now knew that such an action led to nothing more than hurt and betrayal and she would be damned if she would ever open herself up to the possibility of that happening to her again.

Five years ago she had been more hurt than she had ever believed possible and it had come at the hands of those who supposedly loved her. She knew that Peyton could not help the fact that she had died but in a small way Brooke could not help but feel a small sense of blame towards the other woman for leaving her the way she had. The two of them had been so unbelievably close and then just like that one day she was gone and Brooke was left in a world that no longer made sense to her. She had thought she would never feel as alone as she had the day of Peyton's death but had been unaware of the misery that still lay ahead of her. She snapped her head up wanting to block the bad memories that were crowding her mind and looked at Haley's small frame huddled into her robe and felt a searing pain shoot through her, a pain that had no roots in the physical only in the psychological.

She wished in that moment that she didn't care about the woman before her that she could just walk away and forget that they had ever been friends. View her as nothing more than yet another statistic in the growing disease of domestic abuse that swept the world. But she knew she couldn't because as much as she tried to prevent it her mind filled with other images, images of Haley when they had been at school together, images of a laughing Haley trying her best to learn a cheerleading routine that she had little talent for. It was hard to believe that that laughing girl was the same broken woman that sat before her today and she knew in that moment that this was not the same girl although physically she may share many similarities this woman was nothing but a shell of what she had once been. All of the life had been drained out of her and now there was nothing left. Brooke could feel her chest tighten as she acknowledged the truth of her thoughts and had to fight the tears welling in her eyes, such a foreign feeling after so long without them. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to cry and now looking at Haley every wall she had built up around herself began to crumble.

She couldn't allow that to happen she had to go, to get away from Haley and the emotions she was bringing out in her. She needed to return to San Diego, back to her apartment with her fish, to the job that she could lose herself in every day. She turned to leave wanting to rush out that door and never look back and at that moment Haley spoke.

"Did you get the flowers I sent?"

Brooke turned looking at her incredulously for a moment, trying to find the words to respond.

"The ones I sent to Peyton's funeral," she said by way of explanation in case Brooke had not caught her meaning.

"Ah yes I did. I mean they came. They were beautiful," she said in a tone that indicated anything but appreciation. She was shaken she had come up here for no other purpose then to see Haley and perhaps help her to deal with what had happened to her but it was as if being here with her had opened up a swirling vortex inside of her and now all the feelings that she had tried for so long to bury were fighting their way to the surface. This was not supposed to happen this wasn't what she came here for.

Haley remained sitting on the bed and Brooke walked over perching beside her. Haley looked up at her stunned for a moment and then relaxed once again. "Do you remember that time that we all had to drive back from that away game in Pickerington? You got hurt when Lucas and…." She trailed off for a moment before continuing "When Lucas got into that fight and then you me and Peyton ended up driving back together. That was the first time you and I ever really spent any time together. Of course you were spaced out on pain medication and insisted on calling me Brooke all night. I never would have guessed after that night that you and I would become friends." She stopped and Brooke looked at her surprised to see a soft smile on her face as she allowed the memories to overtake her. To be honest her memories of that night were vague due in large part to her being spaced out on pain medication as Haley had quite rightly pointed out. When she had finally started to regain her senses she had been perturbed to see Haley and Peyton so obviously enjoying each others company and in a small way she had been ever so slightly jealous. She had dismissed Haley that night not rating her as someone important enough in the high school hierarchy to concern herself with yet somehow despite a few false starts a friendship had developed.

Now here they were so many years later and she wasn't even sure what sort of a friendship if any remained between them but she knew that despite what had happened between them she could not walk away from Haley and leave her to deal with this alone. She wished more than anything that she could but she knew that it was impossible whether she liked it or not she was going to be here for the long haul.

Haley seemed to be retreating back into her shell and Brooke desperately needed to prevent that and so she said the first thing that popped into her head. "What about that Bachelorette party I threw for you after you got married? That was a great night." She said instantly regretting her words as Haley's face twisted with pain. God what had she been thinking reminding her of her first marriage like that. Sometimes she seriously doubted if her mouth was connected to her brain at all.

Haley desperately tried to push the memories down but they refused to be ignored. She could almost feel the fading sun in her face as she stood on that beach staring up at the man she loved. She could hear the celebrant's words, feel her parent's proudly watching as she recited her vows but more than anything she could feel the love emanating from the man who stood in front of her. For a brief moment she could feel the happiness that filled her whole being as she heard those words. _I Nathan Daniel Scott take you Haley Lydia James to be my lawful wedded wife._ So different to how she had felt standing in that registry office waiting to officially become Chris' wife, then she had only felt a strange numbness overtaking her body and looking up at him she hadn't seen love radiating from his eyes she had seen victory. He had won the first round but his battle over her would be a long running saga that would only be complete when he owned not only her body but her very soul as well, owned and destroyed everything that made Haley James the woman that she was.

In that brief instant looking into his eyes she had known that this marriage was a mistake and she had desperately wanted to tell the man performing the ceremony to stop but the words would not come. Then she had remembered everything that had led up to this day and she had clamped down on her forebodings and when the JP had asked her to repeat her vows she had done so in a quiet but firm voice. Signing that piece of paper that would legally join the two of them together she had felt like she was signing off on everything in her life that had come before now. None of it existed anymore, she was Mrs Chris Keller and her life would never be the same.

She could feel Brooke's hand on her arm trying to get her attention but she couldn't pull herself out of the memories. The way he had kissed her, his lips cold on hers, his hands digging into her back and then he had smiled at her a smile that had chilled her to the bone. "You're mine now," he had said with that same sadistic smile, the smile that would come to be so familiar to her throughout the seven years that she had spent locked into the prison that some called her marriage. But the main thing he had drilled into her head still remained. _He loved her and she would always belong to him._

Looking back on it she still wasn't sure when things had started to go so wrong. No she amended to herself she knew when it had begun to go wrong it's just that she had a hard time equating the events of that day with the trauma that would follow. It had all seemed so innocent in the beginning. It was the day of the Grammy awards, Haley had laid out the dress that she intended to wear, it was her first ever nomination and she was a bundle of nerves. Chris had come into the room behind her wrapping an arm around her waist from behind and pulling her back into his body as he ran a discerning eye over her choice of dress. "I think you can do better," he said finally "Come on I'll drive you to your rehearsal otherwise you'll be late. Let's face it if it was left up to you, you would never be on time anywhere." Haley was slightly taken aback at his comment but then laughed it off telling herself that it was obviously just a poor attempt at humour. So he had dropped her at rehearsal and she had rehearsed the song over and over again determined to get it right. Before it had finished she had looked up to find him sitting a few rows back watching her critically. She had smiled and given him a little wave but he didn't return it instead nodding at her curtly to continue. By the time she had finished she was feeling good about the way it had sounded and walked off the stage smiling at him happily waiting for him to congratulate her.

"You sounded a little rough in that last verse," he said "you're going to have to do better." Her face had fallen momentarily and he had looked at her seeing the sheen of tears in her eyes.

"Hey," he said tilting her head up to look at him, "you know I only tell you this because I want to see you do your best. You know that I know what I'm talking about so don't pout just take my advice and do better."

She had bit down on the urge to tell him that if he knew so much then why hadn't he been asked to perform that night and instead wondered why she was being so petty. He was after all just trying to help her. He had done a lot for her these past few months and had got her through a time that she honestly wasn't sure she would have survived without him he didn't deserve her ingratitude. "I'm sorry you're right I'll do better tonight I promise."

"That's my girl," he said tilting her chin up and leaving a lingering kiss on her lips. "Now let's get back to the hotel I have a surprise for you."

"Really," she said her distress of a few minutes ago forgotten. "What is it?"

"Now what sort of surprise would it be if I told you?" he said with a smile guiding her out of the building a possessive arm wrapped around her waist.

As they left she could see the groups of fans already beginning to gather outside anxious to get the best possible spot beside the red carpet to catch a glimpse of their favourite music idols. Just as they were almost at their car parked discretely at the side of the building one of them spotted her and immediately started hollering excitedly in their direction.

"HALEY, oh my God it's Haley James. Look it's really her."

Haley paused ready to greet them and sign a few autographs but Chris pushed her irritably towards the car.

"Get in," he said curtly.

"Oh but Chris I just thought I'd…"

"Oh but nothing," Chris interjected "Now get in the car we need to go."

She looked at him slightly taken aback. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to react to his edict. She was still at a stage of her career where meeting fans was exciting and a novelty to her. She enjoyed talking to them and the way she saw it if they could come out here and stand in the hot sun to show their support for her and others than surely the least she could do was say hi and sign a few autographs. She looked up at Chris ready to argue but before she could she saw the look in his eyes and the words died in her throat. There was an expression there that she couldn't quite fathom but she knew almost instantly that it did not bode well for her to attempt to argue with him. Silently she acquiesced to his request and slid into the back of the car waiting for him to follow her in.

As they drove she looked over at him inwardly flinching at the set of his jaw, she didn't like seeing him in this mood so far he had shown little evidence of having a temper at least around her and she was unsure of how she should respond. Leaning over she took his hand gently in her own.

"Hey," she said quietly.

He didn't look at her and so she slid her hand up his jaw stroking it gently and turning him around to face her. Leaning in she kissed him lightly on the lips, running her tongue around the edges of his mouth silently asking for entrance. He opened his mouth bringing his hand up to cup the back of her head as he plunged his tongue into her mouth. She moaned slightly as his other hand slid up her thigh underneath her skirt caressing the warm flesh, his lips left hers kissing down her jaw until he reached her neck. He bit lightly at the throbbing pulse point in her neck and she pushed her body into his more firmly enjoying the feel of his teeth scraping against her skin. His hand was working its way closer to its goal and she was now panting excitedly. Just as his fingers scraped against the material of her panties they were jolted out of their rapture by the car pulling up in front of their hotel.

Chris pulled back from her smirking at her before grabbing her hand "come on we need to get upstairs."

She followed after him eagerly keen to continue what they had begun in the back of the limo. Stepping into the elevator he pinned her against the wall his mouth finding hers again as he kissed her passionately. Feeling the elevator come to a stop he smiled against her mouth before grabbing her hand again and leading her to the room. He opened the door and stood back allowing her to precede him into the room. She stopped short at the sight of the dress on the bed. It was not the one she had chosen earlier, she had never seen this dress before. He laughed at the expression on her face as she walked to the bed reaching out a hand to stroke the silk of the dress.

The dress was jet black and she could see just looking at it laid out on the bed that it was something that on her own she would never have considered wearing. It exposed far more skin than she was used to and she wondered briefly where her other dress had gone. Chris walked up behind her his hot breath hitting her neck.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"Um yeah it's ah beautiful but I'm not sure that it's really me."

"What are you talking about? Of course it's you. You're going to look gorgeous in it. Every man in there is going to be lusting after you tonight but you'll be all mine."

She tried to smile but her insides were twisted into knots at the images his words conjured up in her mind. She had slowly been adjusting to life in the limelight but she was not yet at a stage where she was actively seeking attention and this dress was bound to garner her plenty of that.

"Try it on," he insisted "and I had the saleswoman find you some shoes to match. The stylist will be here at six to do your hair and makeup."

It had started so simply and although she had thought things were a little odd when it had started, she had been completely unprepared for just how bad things would get. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight it now seemed so clear where it had all been leading but Haley had been naïve she had believed that it amounted to nothing more than a desire to see her look her best. She hadn't seen it as a sign of his need to control her. She hadn't seen that it was merely a preview of what was to come and even when the doubts had begun to seep in she had determinedly pushed them aside not wanting to believe the ugly truth of what lay ahead.

Brooke's hand pulled more determinedly at her sleeve trying to bring her out of her journey into her past but Haley was lost in the memories. She looked at Brooke blankly before turning away lost in the horror that was her past.

Brooke looked at her sadly knowing that she would get nothing further from her today. She had seen something in that moment when Haley had looked into her eyes that she hoped never to see in another human being's eyes as long as she lived. She had seen pure emptiness and what was worse was in that moment Brooke wasn't sure that Haley even knew let alone cared how cut off from the world around her she now was.

Silently she walked out of the room doubting that Haley would even notice that she was gone. Walking down the stairs she felt a pain deep inside of her chest, a pain that had to be released, she rushed outside the door and stood on the step opening her mouth and releasing what could only be described as a wail of pure anguish. When she stopped she opened her eyes and saw Lucas and Taylor standing beside her looking at her curiously.

"Did she tell you anything?" Taylor asked anxiously, her eyes betraying her almost feverish wish that someone had finally broken through the wall that Haley had erected around her emotions. Brooke could tell in that moment that despite Taylor's own feelings towards her she was willing to put those aside if it meant Haley being helped.

"No," Brooke said simply before pulling her keys from her purse and walking towards her car. Lucas' hand on her arm stopped her.

"Are you ok?" he asked simply.

"No." Getting into her car she drove away, getting less than a block away before the tears came pouring down her face. Pulling over to the side of the road she laid her head against the steering wheel and sobbed. She was no longer able to pretend that anything was ok.


	5. Big Things Come In Small Packages

**A.N I'm back as promised with another update before the end of the weekend. I need to say thankyou to Cath for the title of this chapter and to Jess for some of the ideas used. She made some really great suggestions for this story and I think you're all going to enjoy them. Now just a short note for those of you who read TMTCTMTSTS I just wanted to let you know that I will be taking a short break from that story. I promise that I'm not forgetting about it but I have a new job starting this week and I really need to concentrate on the next few chapters of this one as they are going to be really intense. Anyway make sure you all leave me lots of reviews if you want me to continue this story. Otherwise I'll think that you're not enjoying it and I'll be forced to give it up. LOL. Ok hope the latest chapter lives up to expectations and once again a huge thankyou to all those of you who have been reviewing so faithfully in the first four chapters. I've appreciated the response to this story so much.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**Big Things Come In Small Packages**

Taylor climbed the stairs to her bedroom grateful for the fact that Lucas had taken Zach for the day. She was about to open a Pandora's Box literally and the last thing she needed was to have Zach with her when she did. She didn't hesitate as she entered her room going immediately to her closet and reaching to the back of the shelf at the top to pull out the box that she knew rested there. It was only as she looked at it sitting on her bed that she found cause to pause and take stock of exactly what it was that may or may not lie inside. There had been so many times in the previous five years that she had wanted to open the box and search for answers amongst its contents but she had never allowed herself to do it. Never allowed herself until today but now the day had arrived there was no point in further denying it. It was time to learn the truth and she had to believe that this box would hold the answers that she so desperately needed.

Five years of waiting, so many times she had taken the box out and looked at it running her fingers over the cardboard flaps that had been stuck down so firmly resisting the urge to tear them open. The temptation to see what lay within had been huge but even greater was the fear of what she would learn when she did. Now that fear was gone she was sure that she knew the worst of what lay within. She knew the what now she needed to know the why.

She could clearly remember the day that she had received the box. The entire events of that day had been so deeply embedded into her brain that she doubted that she would ever forget. The day she had decided to go to New York and surprise her sister with a visit had turned out so differently than she would have ever expected.

She had arrived at their apartment knocking confidently on the door and tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for an answer. Finally the door opened and Haley stood on the other side stunned to see her older sister.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed at her.

"Hey now can't I come and visit my baby sis. Besides I've got some news that I would prefer to share in person." Taylor told her as she shed her coat standing back and gesturing with her hands dramatically.

Haley barely even glanced at her as her eyes flickered worriedly to the suitcase sitting at Taylor's feet.

"You can't stay here." She blurted out instantly as Taylor stared at her incredulously before her eyes flicked to a point over her shoulder before moving back to Haley and smiling.

"Haley," a new voice said entering the conversation, the way he said her name sounding almost like a reprimand. "Now what sort of way is that to speak to your sister? I'm sure she's had a long trip and by the looks of her we certainly can't put her out onto the streets." His assessing gaze having already taken in the information that Haley was yet to realise.

Haley blanched momentarily before turning to face her husband. "Of course she can stay," she told him hearing the tone of her voice "I just wanted to make sure that it was ok with you."

"Haley honey don't be silly why on earth wouldn't it be ok with me? I think its wonderful that you're sister has come to visit and judging by the look of her she has some big news to share with us."

Taylor looked between the two of them curiously, Haley wore such a strange look on her face but Taylor couldn't quite place it. Looking again at Chris she couldn't help the shudder that went through her body, there was something off here she just knew it. What she didn't know was just what it was that was giving her such a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked once more at Haley silently asking for answers but Haley averted her eyes. She watched as Chris reached out sliding an arm around Haley's waist and hugging her tenderly and saw the flash of fear that went through her eyes for just a moment before she relaxed her body in her husbands grasp. What Taylor could not see was the fingers of Chris' hand digging sharply into his wife's side. A smile came to Haley's face as Taylor continued to look at her but it didn't reach her eyes and Taylor once again felt a sense of foreboding twisting her gut.

"Well my two favourite James women would either of you like a drink? I think we should all go through to the living room and have a good old catch up. Leave your suitcase here Tay, Haley will show you to your room later."

Taylor followed behind them her curiosity getting the better of her, desperately wanting to know what this strange vibe was that she could feel pulsating through the room. She perched on the edge of the chair unable to ignore the fact that Haley was looking everywhere but at her, her eyes constantly darting around the room pausing only briefly occasionally on Taylor's face. Taylor tried unsuccessfully to catch her eye as Chris busied himself at the bar fixing them all drinks.

"So," Chris said looking back at them over his shoulder "When are you due?"

Haley looked at Taylor finally registering the bulge of her stomach.

"Oh my God you're pregnant," she said surprise registering in her tone.

Taylor moved uncomfortably under Haley's intense stare.

"Um in about three months," she told them as Chris walked towards her drink in hand.

Handing it to her he smiled, "here you look like you could use this."

Taylor took it from him gratefully taking a long sip and smiling at the sensation of the alcohol coursing through her system.

"Taylor you shouldn't be drinking," Haley reprimanded her.

"Hell Haley it's only one drink. I really don't think it's going to do that much harm," Taylor said with a shrug of her shoulders, giving the impression of carelessness about the fate of her unborn child.

Haley stared at her tensing slightly as Chris perched on the arm of her chair placing a hand on the back of her neck and giving it a light squeeze.

"Haley I think Taylor's old enough to take care of herself and any baby that comes along. It really isn't any of our business." He spoke quietly so that only she would hear what he was saying before turning back to Taylor and smiling at her the very essence of the perfect host.

Taylor could see Haley sipping at her drink the glass barely having time to leave her lips before she would bring it back gulping some more of the fiery liquid down her throat. She was surprised, Haley had always professed not to have much of a taste for alcohol but looking at her now it was obvious that she had developed one. She could only assume that this was what came with living the high life as a famous singer. She wondered how long it would be before she ended up splashed across the front page of the National Enquirer. Headlines trumpeting the fact that Haley Keller Grammy Award Winning Singer was in rehab for alcohol abuse. Of course knowing the tabloids they wouldn't stop there they would be bound to come up with some other weird and wonderful story to add to it. After all a celebrity ending up at Betty Ford for alcoholism was hardly anything new.

Lost in her thoughts she almost didn't notice as Chris looked at Haley's now empty glass and shook his head slightly at her. She saw him lean down to speak in her ear but straining her ears she was just able to make out his words.

"Slow down honey, you don't want to look like a lush."

Haley had visibly tensed as Chris' hand came to rest on her shoulder and Taylor had once again wondered at the strangeness of her sister's behaviour. She was so jumpy Taylor could almost swear that she was getting ready to bolt from the room at any moment. She knew that it had been quite a while since she had last see her but this nervous creature in front of her was not the sister she remembered.

Chris looked up feeling Taylor's gaze upon him and smiled tightly at her, that smile supposed to be so warm and endearing appearing more and more fake the more she saw it.

"Hey I've got a great idea," he said suddenly "Why don't the two of you go shopping this afternoon? Take my credit card and buy some things for the baby. You never know Hales maybe seeing all of those tiny clothes will finally get that biological clock ticking. Aren't all women supposed to want children? I thought that was just a fact of life. You're getting older you know Hales you're not going to be able to put it off forever."

Haley shook her head mutely and Chris sighed "Well we'll see. Why don't you buy yourself something too while you're out?"

He stopped looking at Taylor. "Maybe you can convince her that its time for us to be thinking about having a family. God knows I've tried on more than one occasion."

Taylor didn't bother to respond to Chris, although she had met him on a couple of occasions before there was something bothering her about her brother in law but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Standing up she looked at Haley, "Shall we go?" she asked.

Haley stood up and made to follow Taylor out of the room but before she could Chris caught her hand pulling her back to him. Pressing the card into her palm he leaned down kissing her hard on the mouth.

"You know what I like, so I'll look forward to seeing what you bring home with you. Perhaps you can do a little fashion show for me when you get back."

He ran his eyes over her body from head to toe as Haley stood before him. Taylor could see that she was ever so slightly shaking. She started to move away again but his hand still held hers not allowing her to go anywhere.

"Hey I just gave you the means to go shopping don't I get a thank you?"

Shooting a look over to where Taylor stood studying the entire interaction intently she quickly raised her face to Chris kissing him hoping that he would not be tempted to drag out the show any longer than was strictly necessary. He thrust his tongue deeply into her mouth never one to shy away from putting on a show to a captive audience. As he moved his tongue around Haley's mouth his eyes caught and held Taylor's and she could see the look he was shooting her way. She was sure that if his mouth were not otherwise occupied it would hold a victorious smirk. He knew who held all the cards in their little world and he liked people knowing just how important he was in the whole Haley Keller image. Without him it would not exist and he revelled in the fact that it gave him yet one more thing to use in his quest to control her.

They left the apartment walking in silence to the elevators. Taylor kept her eyes trained on Haley's face as they walked waiting for her to say something to break the silence. But Haley it appeared was unfazed by the deafening silence between the two women and Taylor knew that it was going to have to be up to her to make the conversation.

"So why on earth do you need to take his money to go on a shopping spree? Surely you're a millionaire by now and if not you must be damn close to. So why take his money?"

Haley looked at her unsure of whether she really wanted to go into the details of her financial arrangements with her but she could tell by the way Taylor was looking at her that this was one of those situations where she would not be able to simply brush the question aside. When Taylor set her mind to something she was like a dog with a bone and would not give up until she felt she had been given a satisfactory answer.

Drawing a deep breath Haley spoke quickly hoping Taylor would accept the answer that she gave and move on. The last thing she needed was to have Taylor dwelling on the anomalies of her situation.

"Chris has the credit cards it's just easier to let him handle all the finances. You know I've never been any good at that sort of stuff. Plus you know I'm just so busy with all the concerts and recording it just makes sense to let him take care of it." She stopped abruptly hoping that Taylor would not comment on the garbled explanation she had just given.

Taylor stared at her looking for some sign of what was going on with her. It was bad enough that she honestly expected the load of complete crap she had just fed her to be simply accepted but there was something else going on, something that she just couldn't lay her finger on at that moment. There was something else behind her words, a truth that she was not sharing and Taylor decided in that moment that she would do everything in her power to find out the truth of Haley's situation. It didn't take someone of Einstein's intelligence to figure out that Haley would not want to tell her but she was not going to take no for an answer.

"You can not be serious," Taylor said aghast at the thought of someone else husband or not controlling another adults spending in that way. "You must be making squillions why on earth would you let him do this to you. I mean it's not exactly like the two of you need to stick to some tight budget and besides the simple fact of the matter is you're the one who brings in all of the money. Why the hell shouldn't you be able to spend it whatever way you please?"

The car pulled to a stop on Fifth Avenue in front of Barneys and Taylor was momentarily distracted. "Oh wow that's Barneys." she said with a touch of awe. "Is this where we're going shopping?"

"Yeah well I figure it's a good place to start," Haley said "but if we can't find what we need around here then we might head over to Bloomingdales."

"Ah I'm sure this will be fine," Taylor said still slightly in awe. "Hell if I can't find what I want here then I don't deserve the title of shopping queen. Let's go," she said grabbing Haley's hand excitedly and dragging her out of the car, her interest in Haley's financial affairs temporarily forgotten.

For the next five hours Taylor dragged Haley around finding armload after armload of things to buy. She could see that Haley was lagging but as far as she was concerned they had barely even gotten started. The benefits of having a rich and famous sister were becoming more and more appealing to Taylor with every passing moment. Finally Taylor exhausted even herself and placing the last bag down for the driver to load into the car she turned back to Haley.

"Alright Haley, it's your turn."

"My turn?" she asked warily.

"Yep we're going to find you an outfit that's going to have every guy aged between fifteen and ninety in New York panting after you."

Haley looked appalled for a moment. "Oh come on Haley," Taylor said "I promise it will be fun."

Forty minutes later Taylor stood behind Haley grinning at her stunned expression in the mirror. "I told you it was perfect for you."

"Ah no I don't think so," Haley said wrapping her arms around herself trying not to stare at the way the metallic silver material clung to her body. It fell to her knees in a slim fitting skirt and the top consisted of not nearly enough material Haley felt as she tugged unsuccessfully at the deep v neckline trying to get it to sit higher above her breasts knowing that the back dipped just as low exposing just as much skin.

"Haley you can't be serious. This is a Narciso Rodriguez. You do not turn up your nose at a Narciso Rodriguez. You have to buy it," she told her sister forcefully seeing the doubt playing over her features. "Oh come on Haley this dress is perfect for you. How can you even think about saying no?"

"Taylor it's just too expensive," Haley told her "now I should probably get it off so we can get home. Chris will be wondering where I am."

"Oh my God Haley this is horse shit. Yeah it's an expensive dress but what's the point of being rich if you can't buy whatever the hell you want? What's really going on here Haley? I can't shake the feeling that you're not giving me the whole story. Is this about Chris?" she said suddenly as the truth began to dawn in her eyes. "Well I guess if you really don't want it then you had better take it off."

"Yeah I should do that," Haley said looking at her expectantly waiting for her to leave the room.

"Well go ahead," Taylor said "we grew up together. We're both women you haven't got anything that I haven't."

"Taylor um I…."

"What is it Haley spit it out? Do you have some reason why I can't stay in here? I mean the only thing I can think of would be that you have something to hide. You don't have anything to hide do you Haley?"

Taylor could see the stricken look in Haley's eyes as she looked at her before she forced herself to appear calm. "Of course not Taylor what could I possibly have to hide?" she said with a small laugh as if the very idea struck her as ridiculous.

"Well then go ahead," Taylor said crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently as she watched her.

She half expected her to try to make another excuse to get her out of there, she could almost see the wheels of her mind turning trying to find her escape clause but she also saw the moment where the knowledge that she would not be able to do this without Taylor being present finally hit home. She watched as agonisingly slowly she pulled down the zip her eyes locked onto Taylor's as she did, the moment she lowered the dress Taylor gasped in shock. Her eyes locking onto the ugly purple bruising prominently displayed on the left hand side of her rib cage.

"Haley what happened?" she demanded an answer from her sister but none was forthcoming. "Haley you have to tell me."

"It's nothing," Haley told her sister anxiously grabbing for her clothes and quickly pulling her shirt over her head wanting to hide herself from Taylor's all seeing gaze.

"How can you tell me that that's nothing?" Taylor ground out her eyes flashing angrily at Haley's inability to admit the truth that was so obvious. Even without seeing the bruising her suspicions had begun to form and now she was confronted with the blatant truth and Haley was still trying to deny it. "I can't believe you're letting him do this to you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Haley said insistently.

"Oh come off it Haley give me some credit here. I have got eyes in my head you know and I'm not completely stupid."

"Taylor stop you don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that crap Haley. He hit you now what the hell are you going to do about it?"

"You're wrong Taylor. Chris would never hurt me. I can't believe that you would even suggest such a thing."

"Oh really," Taylor said so if that's the case then why don't you explain to me where that bruise came from Haley. Well go on tell me."

Haley took a deep breath before continuing quietly. "I just fell over ok."

Taylor wanted nothing more than to continue arguing with her trying to force the truth from her but she truly didn't believe that it would get her anywhere. She may be the loud one of the two of them but there was no doubt that Haley was the stubborn one and the last thing Taylor felt like right now was trying to drag the truth from her. She would be staying for at least a few more days she had plenty of time to get Haley to admit the truth about her life to her.

In the car on the way home Haley remained silent apart from a few words to the driver when they had first come out which Taylor had been unable to hear she hadn't spoken a word. Looking at her now Taylor could see that she was completely lost in her thoughts.

They hadn't gone more than a few blocks when they pulled up in front of an austere looking grey building. Taylor looked at Haley inquisitively. "What are we doing here?" she asked.

"Just come with me," Haley said "There's something I need to give you."

"Ah Haley," she said as she followed her up the stairs and into the bank "you don't have to pay me off. I'm actually asking you because I care about you. Surely you don't think that I'm that low that I would actually blackmail you with this."

Haley said nothing walking straight to the manager's office and knocking tentatively. Hearing her voice they both entered the office. "Oh Mrs Keller what can I do for you?" the fifty-ish slim woman asked as she rose from her desk.

"I need to get into my safety deposit box," she told her "Can you please arrange that immediately?"

"Certainly Mrs Keller please follow me."

She led them into a small room at the back allowing them to sit down as she brought the box out to her. Haley opened it up as Taylor peered over her shoulder surprised to see that there was the only item contained inside. She looked curiously at the cardboard box wondering what on earth could be so valuable in an ordinary box such as that one that she could need to keep it locked in a bank vault. Taking it out she held it in her hands for a moment before turning to Taylor.

"I need you to take this, but you have to promise me that you won't open it ever. The only time you can open it is if something happens to me. Taylor you have to promise me." She said earnestly.

Taylor looked at her quizzically clearly waiting for her to explain further what the box contained but Haley remained silent simply holding the box out to her. She took it from her surprised to discover that it really wasn't all that heavy. For something that supposedly was so important she had expected it to have a much more significant physical weight. She turned it over in her hands feeling items moving inside as she did.

"Taylor I'm trusting you with this, please don't let me down."

"Ok gee Haley give me some credit will you."

Haley gave her one last searching look before turning and walking out of the room not waiting for Taylor to follow behind. She eventually followed after her still staring at the box in her hands.

Coming out of her little journey into her past Taylor looked once again at the box resting on the bed. It was hard to believe that she had kept it for five long years and had never opened it. From the moment she had got it in her hot little hands she had wanted to open it certain that it contained the answers that she had been looking for. But somehow she had resisted the urge but she would not do that anymore. Haley had made her promise that she would not open it unless something happened to her well as far as she was concerned something had definitely happened and it nullified any previous agreement.

With shaking hands she pulled open the flap at the side tipping it up so the contents spilled out onto the bed. Pawing through it eagerly she was surprised to see that the contents appeared to be nothing out of the ordinary. There were two leather bound journals that Taylor assumed were what Haley had used for jotting song lyrics and ideas into. She had seen her with books like these almost ever since she could write so was not surprised by their presence. What did capture her attention were the two envelopes now lying on the bed. One was plain no writing on it to give any indication of what it may contain the other one bore Nathan's name in handwriting that Taylor had trouble recognising as Haley's. It appeared that her hand must have been shaking badly when she wrote it.

Taylor picked it up holding it gently up to the light tempted to see if she could get an insight into the contents. Sighing she brought it back down to rest in her lap she knew what she had to do with it, she just wasn't sure if she should. Placing it down she picked up the other envelope lifting the flap and peering at the contents. There appeared to be photos inside, pulling one out Taylor glanced at it before dropping it almost immediately glaring at the offending article almost as if it had burned her. There it was the proof that she had been looking for glaring back at her in sharp Technicolor.

Clasping a corner between the tips of her fingers she lifted it up taking a deep breath as she allowed herself to look more closely at it. It was a photo of a woman's breast with one of the nastiest looking burns Taylor had ever seen. She could tell with only a quick look that it was about the size of a cigarette and she gasped as she saw what she instantly recognised as Haley's hair hanging down into the photo. Picking it up she slipped it into her pocket walking out leaving everything exactly where it was taking only the envelope with her.

Picking up her keys she called up the stairs to her sister. "Haley I'm going out. I'll be back in an hour or so."

Unsurprised by the lack of response she walked out to her car climbing in and immediately started the car up she needed to do this now before she lost the courage that it would require. Ten minutes later she pulled up in front of the house walking to the front door and knocking loudly. She waited impatiently for an answer hoping there was some other reason for the lack of a vehicle parked out the front. When no-one answered though she had to accept this was not going to go the way she had hoped. Taking the two items out of her pocket she slid them under the door before turning and walking away. She needed to go see Lucas and her son. Needed the reassurance of being with her son but she also needed to ask Lucas if he could keep Zach for the weekend even though that had not been their original arrangement. There were things she needed to do this weekend that would not be pleasant and she did not want her son there when they happened. She had to protect him from that, protect him from the realities of the world that would all too soon be thrust upon him.


	6. The Power Of Words

**A.N Sorry it has taken so long to get this up everyone. I started new job this week and unfortunately it eats into my writing time but I've stayed up till 4am finishing this so Tracy and Will you better be grateful. Show me how grateful by leaving a review. LOL. Ok well I will try to update during the week but if not it will be up next weekend. Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**The Power Of Words.**

He drove towards the house unsure of how he should approach this situation. He had woken up that morning with the knowledge that he had to talk to Taylor. There were no two ways about it. She held the answers to the questions that plagued his dreams and haunted his every waking moment. He knew from Lucas that Haley was still refusing to come out of her room and be around people so he planned to use that to his advantage. He didn't think that he was prepared yet to actually see her face to face. Not now and perhaps not ever. It wasn't only the thought of what damage had been inflicted upon her that he knew would be so prominent when he looked at her but there was also the fear of what he would see if he looked into her eyes. He was certain that there would be recriminations and blame and he already held himself responsible from what little he knew, he didn't need to see her to feel that.

His mind was swirling as he pulled into the drive way, there were almost too many thoughts to be able to take in all at one time. He desperately tried to pin down just one, allow himself to focus on just one aspect of this fucked up situation but he couldn't do it. Every time he tried the swirling mass of confusion would once again take over and he could barely see what lay directly in front of him with all the images crowding his mind.

Looking at the house he wanted nothing more than to simply slam his foot down on the gas pedal and get the hell out of there. He noticed Taylor's car was not in the drive and assumed that she must have actually parked it in the garage for a change the way Luke was always nagging her about. Nathan briefly smiled to himself sometimes his brother could be such an old woman. Worrying about what might happen if a storm came and the car was left out in it although from what Nathan had seen he wasn't sure that there would be any noticeable difference. Between the dents and the rust not to mention the cheap paint job he didn't really see how much more damage a storm could do.

He glanced up to the window almost expecting to see her peering out at him again but the window was empty and he heaved a sigh of relief. With any luck he'd be able to get in and out of there without her being any the wiser to his presence. Walking to the front door he rang the bell and waited for her to let him in. Several minutes went by and there was no response, he sighed impatiently she had to be home. He went around to the back door peering in he saw the back of a blonde head hovering at the fridge. Pushing the door open he stepped inside.

"Hey Taylor, look I need to talk to you about…." He stopped as he saw the figure freeze at the sound of his voice and immediately realised his mistake.

He had seen her on TV so many times with her hair dyed blonde and yet it hadn't occurred to him for even a moment that the person he had seen was exactly the person he wanted to see less than anyone at that moment. He wasn't ready for this, he knew from speaking to Luke that what he was about to be confronted with was bad and even with all the images that his mind had conjured up over the past few days he still was not sure that he wanted to see the reality. She started to turn and he had to fight against the urge to shut his eyes and avoid the moment just a little bit longer. If he could just stave off this moment then maybe something would happen, something that would prevent him from having to see her. He had been haunted by her face for eight long years and now the moment had come when he would see her again.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as she turned around to face him. She kept her head down but it wasn't enough to completely hide the damage that had been inflicted upon her. He could see that she had difficulty moving, her left arm was in a sling but there was no sign of plaster. Luke had told him that she had a broken arm and looking at her it was obvious that it was in the upper part of her arm. She wore a sleeveless long white silk nightgown and he gasped audibly at the sight of her skin so pale next to the white material. The material flowed against the contours of her body and he was struck by how thin she had become. He could almost swear that he could see the bones of her hips jutting out against the material.

He looked at her hand and saw she held a cold compress obviously meant for her arm. He moved towards her wanting to try to help her, they had yet to speak a word to each other. She watched him coming towards her almost as if she was in a trance it was only when his hand touched hers as he tried to remove the ice pack that she snapped out of her state and almost jumped backwards in her haste to get away from him.

"What are you doing here?" she said so quietly that for a moment he was sure that he must have imagined it. She looked up briefly meeting his eyes with her own before quickly moving her eyes back to the floor.

"I ah came to see Taylor. I wanted to talk to her."

"Well she's not here. You should go; I'll tell her that you came by and have her give you a call when she gets back."

"I wanted to speak to her about you. I wanted to know if you were ok."

"Well as you can see I'm fine," she snapped.

His eyes took in the bruising showing on almost every part of her exposed skin and the assortment of other cuts and scrapes. He struggled to hold in his bark of laughter at her absurd statement. How she could claim to be fine when the visible evidence made a mockery of every word she spoke? Did she think he was a fool or that he would actually go along with what she said just to keep the peace? He waited for the anger to rise within him but it wouldn't instead he felt a hard lump form in his throat. The longer he looked at her the harder it became, he could feel tears forming in his eyes and angrily dashed a hand across his face. He needed to channel his emotions in another direction and looking at all of those marks flawing what once had been flawless skin he finally found the emotion he was looking for.

"I should have known this was the sort of thing that little punk would get his thrills from. He was a weak ass little shit of course he'd beat up a woman to try and make himself feel like more of a man. That fucking scrawny son of a bitch I should have pounded him when I had the chance."

"Stop it," she said quietly but firmly.

He ignored her and continued his tirade stalking over to the table as he did so with a sweep of his arm sending all of the plates crashing to the floor. "What sort of man does something like that to his wife? Actually no don't answer that. I know exactly what sort of man does that and he isn't any sort of man he's just some slimy fungus that should have been obliterated the moment he first showed his ugly little poser face in this town."

"Stop it," she finally resorted to screaming at him. "Don't talk about him like that. He's my husband and he loves me and I'm not going to listen to you talk about him that way."

"Haley he's a fucking rapist for Christ's sake."

She turned away her emotions bubbling around inside of her. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to feel anything and now she could feel so many things trying to fight their way to the surface. She desperately dug her nails into her palms trying to get away from everything that he was saying she knew that if she looked at her hands now that there would be little crescent shapes imprinted there. She blocked his voice out and felt the calmness begin to overtake her once more.

"Haley listen to me for fucks sake," he said slamming his hand down onto the table causing her to turn her almost dazed eyes in his direction. "I just…." He paused for a moment almost as if unsure of how to continue or perhaps afraid of the answer that he would receive. "I just don't understand why you would stay with him for so long. Hell I don't get why you married him in the first place."

Finally his words seemed to break through the haze she was in and she turned an almost hateful gaze in his direction.

"You don't get why I married him?" she said incredulously. "Why the hell do you think I married him Nathan? You more than anyone should understand the reason. God you are the reason. You Nathan, you pushed me into his arms. That night that you turned me away you pushed me back to him. So if you want someone to blame for your own feelings of inadequacy then look no further because you've found him. You see him every time you look in the mirror Nathan but I guess I should be thanking you because you led me to the man who loves me more than anyone else ever could or would. So thank you Nathan, thank you for leading me to love."

"Oh no way are you going to pin this on me. I never told you to marry that bastard. How can you say that he loves you? Have you seen yourself, seen what he did to you? I didn't do this Haley you did."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she screamed at him. "He loved me he didn't turn me away when it got too hard. He didn't turn me away so he could pursue his own dreams. That was you Nathan."

He lunged at her seeing her whole body tense but was beyond caring. How could she blame him for this? He grabbed her uninjured arm and felt her body go rigid in his grasp so different to when he had touched her in the past and she had practically melted into his arms. Holding her arm he pulled her into the downstairs bathroom holding her in front of the mirror.

"Take a look at yourself Haley, look in that mirror and tell me that someone who could do this to you actually loved you."

She kept her head down refusing to look up at the irrefutable evidence he was presenting. Grabbing her chin he lifted it till she was eye level with the mirror.

"Look," he demanded but her eyes remained closed.

"Haley just look please," he said his voice taking on an almost pleading tone. Against her better judgement she opened her eyes taking in her own appearance in the mirror briefly before meeting his eyes reflected back at her from where he stood behind her.

"Now tell me again that someone who loved you would do this to you."

"He did, he does," she insisted stubbornly and he dropped his hands back down to his sides defeated.

"If that's what you believe then there's nothing else I can say but one day Haley you are going to have to accept the truth. If he truly loved you he would never have done something like this," he said brushing his thumb lightly across her almost healed lip. He waited for her to speak hoping against hope that something he had said had got through to her but she remained silent and without another word he turned and walked out the door.

As soon as he reached his car he got in slamming his hand down on the dash replaying her words over and over in his head. She blamed him for this and while that would have been enough to deal with in its own right what was so much worse was hearing her thank him. Listening to her thank him for bringing Chris and his perverted version of love into her life had torn him apart inside. Those words were like a knife through his very soul hearing her use the word love in reference to that slimy little bastard was almost more than he could take.

He was so angry at that moment he could barely see straight. It was almost like there was a haze distorting his vision he blinked rapidly trying to clear his sight and saw the familiar car making its way up the street towards the house. Taylor was almost home and as much as he had wanted to speak to her less than an hour ago he now knew that she was the last thing he needed. He'd had his fill of the James' sisters for that day and he sure as hell didn't need Taylor badgering him about the events that had just taken place. She would know with one look at him that something had happened and he definitely did not need to rehash the whole thing now.

As he watched she flashed her headlights at him indicating that she wanted to talk to him and that was enough to spur him into action. He started the engine revving it hard before taking off down the street praying that Taylor would take the hint and not follow him. His actions had made it more than clear that he didn't want to talk now and he hoped that she would for once show some tact and mind her own business. Reaching the end of the street he looked into his rear view mirror and sighed with relief as he saw that her car was no longer in sight. She must have pulled into her drive her need to check on Haley obviously outweighing her insatiable curiosity. He slowed the car down slightly driving at a more sedate pace knowing that he was in no state to be able to drive safely at this point. He could barely think with all the images and words swirling through his mind. All he wanted was to get home and drink himself into a stupor maybe that would block it all out.

Finally he pulled into the driveway grimacing with distaste as he saw Lucas' truck parked in the drive, his brother and his nephew sitting on the step waiting for him. Sighing heavily he got out of his truck walking reluctantly to where they sat trying his hardest to paste a smile onto his face as he saw Zach looking at him expectantly.

"Uncle Nate," he said excitedly, "I stayed at Daddy's house last night and Mommy came around before and she said that I can stay again tonight."

"Wow," Nathan said doing his best to inject some enthusiasm into his voice as he spoke to his nephew. He could feel Luke's eyes on him but deliberately kept his gaze averted unsure of how much of his confused emotions were still swimming in his eyes. Lucas was one of the few people who could read him with just a simple look and he didn't need him turning his razor sharp gaze on him at that moment.

"Hey Zach," he said perching the child up on his shoulders as he entered the house. "How about I get you something to eat and you can watch the new DVD I got for you. How does that sound huh?"

"Good," Zach said wiggling around excitedly.

"Now how about we get you some cookies and soda," Nathan said.

Zach giggled "Mommy doesn't let me have soda she says its bad for my teeth."

"Well," Nathan said lifting him down from his shoulders. "I won't tell her if you won't."

Zach considered this for a moment before turning to look at his father. "Daddy will you tell Mommy that Uncle Nate gave me soda."

Luke dragged his intense gaze away from his brother looking briefly at his son. "No buddy I won't tell her, but you can only have one glass ok."

"Ok," he agreed cheerfully.

Nathan did his best to appear nonchalant as he moved around the kitchen preparing his nephew's snack but he knew he wasn't fooling Lucas. He could feel his eyes on him everywhere he went and had to fight the urge to snap at him but knew he could not do that for a couple of reasons namely the fact that Zach was there but also the fact that he didn't want to give him any opening to initiate conversation. But he knew that this sort of avoidance would only work for so long and sooner or later Lucas would get tired of waiting and begin to ask the questions that were written all over his face.

Zach wandered away leaving the two men alone and Lucas seized his opportunity. "So you going to tell me where you've been?" he asked.

"Don't see how it's any of your business," Nathan responded with a shrug.

"You went to see her didn't you?" Lucas asked but the question was phrased as more of a statement and Nathan knew that he didn't really expect an answer he had already formed his own opinion of the day's events in his own mind.

"I've seen that same look in the eyes of every person who's seen her over the past few days, hell I saw it in my own eyes when I came home and looked in the mirror. "So she wouldn't talk to you either huh?"

Nathan gave a short sharp bark of laughter at his assumption. "Believe me I almost wish she hadn't," he said partially under his breath.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lucas asked incredulously. As ridiculous as it was he almost felt a little jealous that the only person that had been able to get through to Haley was her ex husband. Here he was her supposed best friend since they were eight and he had barely gotten a word out of her and Nathan had succeeded where all others before him had failed. In some respects he knew he probably shouldn't be surprised and that he was probably being unfair to be upset about this, he knew he should just be grateful that she had finally spoken to someone but judging by the look on Nathan's face it didn't appear that whatever it was that she had said had been something he had wanted to hear.

"What did she say?" he asked quietly not sure that Nathan would tell him or if he did that it was something that he wanted to hear.

"She told me that he did it because he loved her," Nathan told his brother hesitantly and was surprised to see Lucas nodding his head no sign of the shock or outrage that he had been expecting his statement to be greeted with.

"That's what she said to me too," he said quietly.

"Yeah well I bet she didn't tell you that it was your fault," he said harshly.

Lucas' face finally registered the surprise that he had been looking for as his mouth gaped open and he seemingly searched for the words to ask what he needed to know. But before he could say anything Zach reappeared in the room carrying two envelopes in his hand.

"Uncle Nate what are these?" he asked holding them up to him. "Can I open them?" he asked hopefully.

Nathan took the envelopes from his nephew visibly blanching as he instantly recognised Haley handwriting on one and what he was pretty certain was Taylor's on the other. I guess now I know where Taylor was he thought grimly to himself. She must have brought these here while I was at her place.

He looked down at Zach seeing him still watching him expectantly. "Sorry Zach maybe next time these ones are sort of private."

Zach did his best pout hoping to make Nathan give in to him the way his father so often would but Nathan remained firm and eventually he gave up running away to play in the living room. He knew Lucas was still watching him and dragged his gaze away from the envelope that was practically burning his hand.

"You and Zach have to go," he said without preamble.

"Nathan what is it?" he asked gesturing towards the envelope he held.

"I don't know," Nathan replied honestly "But I have a feeling whatever it is it's not good."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? We can put a DVD on for Zach and that will keep him busy for at least an hour if I know my son."

Nathan shook his head, "No I need to be alone."

Lucas looked at him intently for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "Ok well if you're sure."

"I am," Nathan said with quiet certainty.

Turning towards the living room Lucas called to his son, "Zach come on we have to go."

Ushering them out of the house a few minutes later Nathan finally was left on his own but only after promising Lucas that he would call if he needed to talk or whatever.

He looked at the envelopes still clutched in his hand and silently debated which one to open first. Finally making a decision he ripped open one of them gasping when he saw the picture that spilled out. The burn depicted was so gruesome, marring what once had been such smooth soft skin, skin that he had touched on so many occasions in the past. He tried to push the image out of his mind dropping the photo to the floor as he regarded the second envelope warily.

Cautiously he opened it almost as if afraid that the contents would jump out and bite him. Peering inside he saw a single sheet of paper folded into quarters reaching in he picked it out gingerly holding it between his thumb and forefinger.

Unfolding it slowly the words Dear Nathan seemed to almost jump off the page at him and he sank down to the floor knowing that he needed to sit while he read this. Taking a deep breath he began to read.

_Dear Nathan,_

_I almost don't even know why I'm writing this as I hope you'll never have to see it. For so long I've had so many thoughts swirling around in my head and I decided it was time to get them all out onto paper._

_So much has changed since I last saw you, that night when I came back from tour hoping to set things right with you. You nearly broke my heart when you told me that you had signed those annulment papers. I never ever thought that you would sign them and to have Dan bring them well for a moment as strange as this may sound that gave me hope because I couldn't believe after everything that he had done to us that you would let him be the one to bring them to me. Guess that hope was wasted thought wasn't it. It would seem that you mended your relationship with your father after all._

_After you sent me away that night and told me that it was all over I didn't know what to do. I'd quit the tour determined to go back to school and leave the music thing till I was a bit older or maybe give it up all together if it meant being with you. So I did the only thing I could think of I went back to the tour and Chris, Michelle and all the rest of them._

_I know you probably still don't believe this especially since I ended up married to him but I promise you Nathan nothing ever happened between me and Chris while I was married to you._

_When I returned to the tour he was such a good friend to me Nathan. I was a total mess and he took care of me and I guess I tricked myself into believing that I loved him. He told me so many times that he loved me that eventually I started to believe it. I needed to believe that someone loved me. I needed to believe that I wasn't unlovable._

_I guess I was naïve Nathan, the signs were there from very early on but I wouldn't admit to them. Even now I portray this happy little wife up on stage and out in public while inside I'm dying._

_The reason I'm writing this Nathan is because I'm scared about what's going to happen in the future. What I haven't told you Nathan although if you're reading this now I assume you know is that he beats me. So I'm writing this to explain to you that no matter what it seemed like Nathan I never stopped loving you. I'm putting this letter away somewhere safe and I'm going to give instructions that if anything ever happens to me that you get this._

_I hope you've found happiness Nathan because I truly believe you deserve it. This has been the longest year of my life Nathan and I honestly don't think I would have survived it without my memories of what a marriage and real love could be like._

_I'll always love you Nathan._

_Love Haley._

The piece of paper fluttered from his lifeless fingers to the ground. Immediately he picked it up again looking at the date. She had written this barely a year after getting married. Even then she had been afraid for her life.

What the hell had changed in the six years since she had written this? That woman that he had spoken to today had been so adamant that Chris loved her and yet supposedly that was the same woman who had wrote of the eternal love she would always feel for him. How could this be possible? His confusion was almost more than he could bear. He dropped the letter to the floor once more and stood walking to the window and stared unseeing out into the back yard. He no longer knew what to think.

Picking up the photo he stared at the image of that cigarette burn on her breast then slowly tore it into shreds he never wanted to see it again. It was emblazoned onto his brain anyway. There was no way he would ever forget it.


	7. The Truth Within

**A.N Well I have slaved away to make sure you all get a new chapter this weekend...I hope it was worth the wait and as of this week I intend to start a new routine that means that I write for at least an hour each day during the week...Hopefully that will mean that I will be able to get updates up more regularly...Well enjoy and tell me what you think.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**The Truth Within**

Taylor walked into the house looking around for Haley. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the pile of smashed plates on the floor of the kitchen and took off at a run up the stairs. Reaching Haley's bedroom door she was surprised to see it wide open with no sign of her sister inside. Taking a deep breath she looked up and down the hall confronted with only open doors. She wasn't here. Her throat constricted as she madly went through the list of possibilities of where she would go but she could not come up with a single one that made any sense. Haley had barely left her room in days surely she would not now leave the house.

She went back downstairs and stopped as she saw the bathroom door slightly open and the vague outline of her sister's form slumped on the floor. Pushing open the door she looked at her sitting there arms wrapped around her legs head down rocking back and forth, back and forth. She could see her mouth moving but initially couldn't make out the words she knelt down in front of her taking hold of her elbows and tried to make eye contact with her. But it was of no use even when looking directly at her it was as if Haley was staring straight through her. Her eyes were blank and unseeing and still she kept chanting almost under her breath to her self, the same words over and over again.

"Chris loves me, my husband loves me. Chris loves me, my husband loves me. Chris loves me." On and on it went as Taylor stared at her in disbelief unsure of what she should do.

"Haley stop it," she said her calmness belying the turbulent emotions coursing through her, terrified that if she allowed her true emotions to show through that they could somehow upset Haley even further. But still it went on the same words over and over again until Taylor was literally fighting the instinct to place her hands over her ears and block it all out.

She couldn't begin to understand Haley at that moment. How she could sit there saying that Chris loves her was beyond any known form of logic and yet she persisted. Taylor wanted nothing more than to scream and yell at her that beating someone half to death was not a form of affection and certainly didn't show love but she knew instinctively that her words would fall on deaf ears. Haley was determined to believe that her husband had loved her even as he was beating her senseless and raping her and not for the first time Taylor wondered what on earth had made Haley marry that man.

Haley continued to rock her eyes staring unseeingly into space her arms wrapped around her knees, that same whispered chant seeming to dominate the room. Taylor looked at her and suddenly could not take it any longer.

"Haley stop it," she commanded once more her voice louder than before but still with no affect. Grabbing onto her arms she shook her slightly. "Stop it," she repeated but it was as if Haley had ceased to be aware of anything around her. Grasping her arms more forcefully she shook her harder. "STOP IT NOW," she shouted.

Haley blinked her eyes slowly swimming into focus as she looked incredulously at Taylor.

"What are you doing here Taylor?" she asked quietly her softly spoken question giving little indication that she really wanted or would even register her response.

"Haley come on stand up I think you need to go upstairs and maybe have a lay down for a while."

"What are you talking about Taylor I'm fine?" she said as she got gingerly to her feet.

"Oh well if you're so fine why don't you tell me about the little visit that Nathan just paid to you?" She watched as Haley's face lost what little colour it had and her knees seemed almost to give out from under her. She clutched onto the basin for a moment with both hands sucking in deep gasping breaths as she avoided looking at her sister knowing all too well the smug look she would be confronted with if she did.

She walked away from Taylor without another glance in her direction heading upstairs to the safe haven of her room, before she got there though she paused and turned looking quizzically at her sister.

"Where's Zach?" she asked.

"Oh you mean the nephew you have barely acknowledged since you've been here. I'm surprised you even noticed his absence. Hell I guess I should be grateful that you remembered he existed at all."

Taylor paused as Haley continued to stare at her "he's with Lucas Haley now why don't you go and get some rest."

Finally alone with her thoughts once more Taylor leaned back against the door completely drained from their little encounter. She had gone through such a range of emotions in the last few days but this one was new this one had almost sent her into a complete tailspin. Fear, the fear that Haley was gone when she arrived home, the fear she had felt when she had been confronted with her in that state and now the fear of what she was about to do. She was about to open herself up to something that she was not at all sure she was ready for in fact she wasn't sure she would ever be ready for it. But with everything else she had in her life at the moment she figured what was one more thing to add to the pile of things she was not really prepared to deal with.

Walking into the bedroom she picked up the leather bound notebooks that still lay on her bed exactly where she had left them. Haley had always expressed whatever she was feeling in the lyrics she wrote and Taylor hoped that hidden away in these books was the answer to all of her questions. She had so many questions and it had gone beyond the stage where she was simply curious she now knew that if there was any way that she would be able to help her sister she needed to know the truth about her sister. She could only hope that somewhere there in Haley's neat penmanship laid the key to unlocking all of the secrets of Haley's soul.

She walked out onto the porch sitting down on one of the chairs with her legs curled up beneath her. As she did one of the books fell to the ground and she picked it up casually glancing at the words that lay within. She gasped as the words seemed to jump off the page at her. _Last night Chris raped me for the first time or at least the first time that I am finally able to admit that it was truly rape. You may wonder why I call it the first time its because somewhere inside of me I know that no matter what he said this morning that was just the first time of many._

The book thudded down into Taylor's lap as she stared without seeing out into her backyard. God these weren't just song lyrics these were diaries. Inside of these books lay who knew how many countless acts of violence and degradation all written in Haley's own words. She had been wanting answers and now it seemed she had been handed them in a more graphic form than she could ever have imagined. She regarded the book in her lap with distaste wishing she could throw it away and pretend that she had never seen it but she knew she couldn't do that. No matter what horrors lay in wait for her she had to know. This was not a situation where she could hide away and pretend that everything was ok this was her sister and if she was going to help her she was going to need all the help she could get.

Picking up the book she flipped back the pages to the inside of the front cover and read the words inscribed there. She had even given the journal a title and below the words the dates had been clearly marked. They coincided with shortly into their first year of marriage but it wasn't the knowledge of just how long this had been going on that sent a chill down her spine it was the words she had used to describe what this book was. **The Truth That Nobody Sees. **She knew that she and Haley had not always enjoyed the closest of relationships but surely there must have been somewhere there with her, someone that she was close to and could confide in other than Chris. How the hell could it be that no one had had any sort of clue as to what was going on?

Picking up the second book she flicked through the pages quickly seeing that almost half of them were empty she turned to the front inside cover and checked the dates. As she had suspected they matched what was her second year of marriage right up until Taylor had turned up on their doorstep that day. The words inscribed there were much simpler but in Taylor's opinion so much more bleaker than what had come before. **My Life.**

She set both books down on the arm of her chair and stood up there was no way she was going to be able to do this without a little Dutch courage. Walking into the kitchen she grabbed the liquor bottle and a glass before going back outside and filling her glass. She gulped it down praying for the numbing effect of the burning liquid that she knew would soon come. It was so tempting to drink glass after glass until she was sure she would no longer truly feel the horror of what she was about to read but she didn't honestly believe that there was enough alcohol in the whole world to achieve that.

She opened the first book and taking a deep breath began to read.

_Well I guess most people would probably start an entry such as this with the words Dear Diary but somehow that doesn't quite seem to fit for me so I'm just going to write and see what happens. I haven't kept a diary like this since junior high but somehow it just seems fitting to begin one again now. After all yesterday I began a new life, a life as Mrs Chris Keller. That still sounds so strange to me to refer to myself as Haley Keller, I guess I never really imagined that this day would come but it has and I hardly know how I got to this day. The past year seems to be nothing more than a blur. I mean how is it possible that a year ago I was married to another man, a man I loved so much, and now here I am married again and all by the time I'm eighteen._

_I know it sounds horrible to be saying this the day after being married but I'm just so confused. I really don't know how things got to this stage. Chris was never anything more than a friend to me for the longest time sure I guess I knew that he always wanted more but that never seemed to be on the cards for us. I was in love with Nathan and I thought Chris accepted that and then Nathan was gone from me. Having Nathan reject me that night almost destroyed me and I'm not even sure I would have gotten through it at all if it wasn't for Chris. When I first came back to the tour I wanted nothing to do with him, I started to wonder if maybe Nathan was right, maybe Chris had been the one who destroyed our marriage. But sooner or later I had to accept the truth that he wasn't the one at fault in this whole screwed up situation. Nathan and I were the ones who had gotten married and we were the only ones who could end our marriage. Chris was there for me at a time when no one else was and he was the one who helped me to get over Nathan, well at least as much as I ever will get over Nathan. I could never tell this to another living soul but there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wonder what he's doing and if he's happy. It's a rare night that I don't dream about him and what it was like when we were together. I wonder what Chris would think if he knew that all these nights that I sleep in his arms in my mind I'm really with Nathan._

_Yesterday as the JP was performing the ceremony for a moment I closed my eyes and allowed myself to pretend that it was Nathan standing in front of me holding my hands. In my mind it was his voice I heard as he said his vows that day on the beach, I could almost feel the wind in my face and the setting sun at my back so different to the registry office where I stood with Chris._

_I wanted so badly to tell the JP to stop that this was all wrong but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't find the words to back out of the promise that I had made to Chris. But I know it was wrong to go through with it I don't really love him, not the way a woman should love the man that she's just married. In my own way I do love him and I think we'll have a good life together and if this last year has shown me anything its that he will stand by me when things get tough, the way that Nathan wouldn't._

_I wonder what he would think if he saw me now sitting here in this God I don't even know what you'd call it. I guess it's a teddy but it's so revealing, there is practically no material and what there is of it is red lace that leaves nothing to the imagination. Chris bought it for me and a whole cupboard full of ones at least as revealing as this if not more so. There is no way I would have ever worn something like this when Nathan and I were together, God I feel ashamed even now wearing something like this. It just isn't me. Silk nightgowns and pyjama bottoms with camisole tops they're the sort of thing that I always wore and Nathan loved them. I can still remember the first time Chris saw me wearing one of my nightgowns he burst out laughing and the next day the first of these teddies arrived. I was mortified I didn't think there was any way that I could ever wear something like that but then there are a lot of things that I've done with Chris that I had never even imagined doing with Nathan._

_Nathan was always so sweet and gentle when we made love, that's what it was with me and Nathan it was making love. It wasn't having sex the way it is with Chris, I guess the fact that I was a virgin when Nathan and I got married meant something to him. He didn't want to scare me; he wanted everything to be perfect, never pushing for things that he didn't think I was ready for. It would always be in our bed, and I would turn off the lights and slide under the covers with him and let him bring me the sort of pleasure that up until I married him I had only ever dreamed about._

_It's so different with Chris, he wants everything to be so much more passionate, he likes to lay there and watch as I parade around the room wearing one of his latest purchases before he more often than not rips it from my body. The things that he has taught me and done to me and more to the point made me do to him are things I had only ever heard whispered about in the girls changing rooms in high school. I hadn't believed them, never even thought it was possible to do the things that they said. The first time he told me that he wanted to "fuck me up the ass" I nearly passed out. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do and I let him even though I hated every moment of it. All those times with Nathan I had never imagined that sex could be the way Chris made it and sometimes I wonder what sort of person I am to enjoy those things that he does to me. What sort of person does that make me? I always thought that only a slut would do the sort of things that I now do on such a regular basis. Does this make me a slut? Surely the fact that he's my husband makes it ok. But as much as I enjoy what he does to me it feels sort of hollow because there isn't the love there that made having sex with Nathan so special. With Chris it's nothing but Fucking but even so sometimes when I'm sitting astride him yelling his name inside my head its Nathan's name I'm screaming._

_Sometimes I wonder when we're up on stage together doing our duet if the audience somehow knows what we do together when we're not on stage. The things he does in my dressing room or in the back of the car as we drive back to the hotel, in the elevator, the hotel pool just about everywhere. All of those people back in Tree Hill would they still even know me, to them I was Tutor Girl and then well my identity became wrapped up in the fact that I was Nathan's wife. I'm not sure even I knew who I was. Maybe I was afraid to find out on my own, maybe that's why here I am less than a year after my first marriage was officially over married again._

_What is wrong with me I got married yesterday to Chris and still I seem to think about nothing but Nathan. I wonder if it will ever change if there will ever come a day when I truly believe that Chris loves me and I too love him._

Taylor finished her entry and stared into space as she absorbed the words she had read. Her eyes skimmed back over the words rereading some parts others already burned into her brain. She sighed knowing that she couldn't stop there she had to keep reading if she wanted to truly understand Haley. It was the only way she could help her.

Turning the page she found the second entry contained little that the first hadn't. There were more mentions of Nathan and the life she had had with him, so many references to her uncertainty about Chris. She skimmed through more entries finding more of the same for months, the entries erratic the book never wrote in every day. The thing that stuck out most thought was that gradually the mentions of Nathan became less. It seemed that the life of Haley Keller had become about the music and her husband. Nothing else seemed to matter to her it was almost as if the outside world had ceased to exist.

Finally another entry caught her attention. It started off with big bold black letters.

_**CHRIS WANTS TO HAVE A BABY.**_

_Last night he told me that he wants a baby I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. He wasn't talking about this as something that he'd like to have happen one day he wants me to get pregnant now. I told him that I didn't want to yet that I wanted to concentrate on my career for a while and he went ballistic on me. He screamed at me telling me that I'm nothing but a selfish little brat, that if it wasn't for him that I would never have had a career. I've never ever seen him get so angry well not with me anyway. I can hardly even believe that I'm going to say this but I guess this is the only place and time I will probably ever tell anyone about this. For a minute last night I actually believed he might hit me, I know that sounds crazy but there was just this look in his eyes. I don't know how else to describe it but it was almost manic._

_I was actually afraid of my own husband. I know I'm probably just being stupid as if Chris would ever do anything to hurt me physically or emotionally. I know most people probably think that now that we're married that having a baby is just naturally the next step but I really don't think I'm ready for that. I'm not even nineteen and I have a real chance with the music. Things are just starting to happen for me. I am so not ready for a baby which is why I did what I did today._

_This afternoon I told Chris I was going shopping and went to see the Doctor. I asked him to put me on the contraceptive pill told him that I had just recently become sexually active and wanted to be safe from unwanted pregnancies. He didn't ask too many questions and prescribed it for me straight away so now I've got them hidden in my makeup case and every morning I will somehow sneak off and take my pill. Hopefully Chris won't be too disappointed when I don't get pregnant straight away and I'll be able to convince him that it's just going to take some time. I hate having to deceive him like this but I just can't get pregnant now. I know one day we'll have children but it will be when it's right for both of us. Until then you're the only one besides the doctor of course who knows the truth about the fact that I'm using contraceptives._

_Thank goodness I have you to confide in. I guess there really aren't many people for me to talk to other than Chris these days. Ever since the tour with Michelle and Jessica ended it's been just the two of us travelling around and performing together. I guess these are the times where I really start to miss Peyton and Brooke and even Lucas. Sure Lucas was never much one for me to be able to confide girly stuff in but I knew that he would always listen to whatever I wanted to talk about and do his best to help me work things out. That's what a best friend does and for so long it was only me and him against the world. God those days seem so long ago it's almost hard to believe that we were ever those people that spent our days playing mini golf up on the roof of his mom's café. It seems like another lifetime and I guess in a lot of respects it really was. Anyway I better go I think I just heard Chris get home and I have to make sure I have you hidden before he comes in._

Taylor by now was engrossed in the entries she read and read not wanting to miss a single word until finally she found the first evidence of the monster that Chris was to become.

_God I'm stupid. How could I have been so naïve and dumb. What sort of wife am I to make my husband feel like this? To make him do this to me because I know that it was only me at fault here. He told me weeks ago that he wanted a baby and I went behind his back and made sure that he wouldn't get his wish. Even though he doesn't know for sure I'm certain he suspects what I've done. Why else would he have hit me? I brought this on myself._

_He just seemed so out of control for a moment when he made me take that test even though I already knew what the result would be and the result came back negative just as I knew it would. But there was no need for me to act so smug about it. He didn't deserve that and I know that I was in the wrong. He had looked at me and I had seen that same look in his eyes as the night when I had first refused to have his baby._

_He was so sorry this morning though, I am sure that he will keep his promise and he will never do it again. Last night was just a mistake. We have both made mistakes and we will learn from them and in the end it will make our marriage stronger._

Taylor stopped setting the book in her lap and breathing deeply struggling to believe that her little sister who had always been so level headed had truly believed what she had been writing. There was so much more to read and she knew that she had to continue. It was imperative that she read every last word. Standing up she walked to the edge of the porch leaning on the railing and looking out at the yard, Zach's toys spread all around and not for the first time thanked God that she had him in her life. There were times when she thought that her life was bad but she knew that they were nothing compared to what others went through compared to what her own sister had been through. What her sister had continued to go through while she buried her head in the sand and pretended that nothing was amiss. She had failed Haley and she couldn't do that again, she walked back to the chair and picked up the book ready to continue to read.


	8. The Darkness In Words

**A.N Ok the first thing I have to say is a huge apology for how long it has taken me to update...Life has been so insanely busy lately not to mention the fact that I have been sick for at just over a week...Now onto more important things...This chapter is totally dedicated to Cath who without her it would probably be stillsitting on my laptop three quarters done...But there are a couple of other people I would like to draw your attention to first off is Sam...God I love you and your reviews...Next is 'Sophia' well what can I say not only did you inspire me to continue this story as long as possible but thanks to you I broke the 100 review mark...The only piece of advice I'd offer is that if you're going to submit reviews such as those you might actually want to read the story that you're reviewing...Its slightly obvious when the reviews come through so close together but whatever...I know what it was about and all I can say is Good Luck to you because you sure as hell aren't going to get the best of me...So thank you 'Sophia' and to those of you who read the story I reccomend you check out her reviews and let me know what you think...Hope the chapter was worth the wait and I will do everything in my power to make sure that the next one does not take so long...**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**The Darkness In Words**

_You're probably the only person that I'll ever tell about this which I guess in some ways makes me pretty pathetic with my only confidante being a book but I guess that shows just what my life has become. Last night Chris raped me for the first time or at least the first time that I am finally able to admit that it was truly rape. You may wonder why I call it the first time its because somewhere inside of me I know that no matter what he said this morning that was just the first time of many. I still can't even understand it. I guess there were warning signs that it was coming but I refused to see them and now I don't know what to think._

_Everything seemed so good last night he was so happy when he got home. His agent had called him with the possibility of a gig and after so long with no work it finally seemed as if things were coming together. He came home with a huge smile on his face and surprised me with such an amazing hug and kiss. I get so confused when he acts like this. I never quite know what to expect from him, sometimes he can be so loving and then other times he can be so volatile. But I know that the only reason he gets like this is because I force him into it. If I could somehow live up to his expectations of me he wouldn't get so upset. After all he only wants the best for me and has done so much to try and help me achieve everything I ever wanted. I really should show him more gratitude._

_I was in the middle of cooking dinner for the two of us making sure that it was just right for him he's been so down lately and I wanted to do something special for him. He came in and I heard the door slam and by reflex I jumped. He laughed when he saw me but then came in and like I said before he was so affectionate. He insisted that I leave the dinner because he was taking me out but he refused to tell me where. Then he pulled out a blindfold and asked me to turn around, I literally felt chills run through me at the feel of his hands on my skin, I know most people would think that's a good thing but as hard as I try I can't stop the fear that courses through my body whenever I'm in the same room as him. I just wish I could control it. He promised me just yesterday morning that he would never hurt me again. He was so remorseful and he promised me that he would never ever hurt me; he seemed so scared that I might leave him. I had to make him understand that I could never and would never do that. For better or worse I married him and I intend to live up to that._

_I know there are people out there who would probably say that there is something wrong between Chris and me but they just don't understand the special relationship we have. Its like nothing else I've ever experienced Chris says that its because this is what real love feels like, love that is so passionate and raw that sometimes emotions just spill over and that's just what happened last night._

_Chris tried so hard to make it the perfect night for me and it was spoiled. I should have made more of an effort. I have to be more understanding of how hard things have been for him. Chris was so sweet with the carriage ride through Central Park and then taking me to dinner at Nobu. He was just so determined to make it a special night and then things just went so wrong._

_We walked into the restaurant his arm around my waist and were greeted almost immediately by the Maitre D. He was so gushing so effusive. He called me Miss Keller and told me how wonderful it was to have me and my guest in their restaurant. Chris got all stiff as he stood next to me and I saw the look the Maitre D gave him it was almost dismissive. I really didn't know what to do so I introduced Chris as my husband hoping that it would somehow calm the bad vibe I was getting. But Chris didn't seem happy with that either. He glared at me when I said it and then just walked away from me going to the table and sitting down. It took a lot of effort but eventually I got him to calm down and we enjoyed our dinner. I'm not that much of a fan of Japanese food but I know Chris enjoys it so I tried my best to eat what I could. _

_By the time we were ready to leave he seemed to be his normal self and we walked outside holding hands. I still don't know why I didn't notice them straight away I guess I was just too focused on Chris anyway before I knew what was happening we seemed to be surrounded. So many camera flashes going off and photographers yelling for my attention and then one of them took it too far. Chris was happily posing with me his arms around me when one of them told him to get the hell out of the way. He said something like 'No one is interested in seeing you mate. The readers only want to see people who are somebody like Haley here. I tried to protest that I wanted him in there with me and that he was a wonderful musician he was just going through a down time but they didn't listen and Chris seemed so understanding. He moved off to the side and smiled at me as he watched them continue their barrage of shouted commands. The flash of the cameras just kept going and going. I looked at Chris and could see the smile wasn't really reaching his eyes. I told them that it was enough and left with him._

_He was kind of quiet of the way home but I was too lost in my own thoughts to realise how upset he was. I was insensitive to him and his feelings. We got home and he seemed kind of moody. I've seen him in that mood before so I tried to go to him and hug him but he pushed me away. Then next thing I knew he was screaming at me asking me how many times I'd been to that restaurant and who I went there with. I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about I had only been there once before and that was with Michelle and Jessica but he wouldn't listen. He kept screaming at me about how the Maitre D knew me and I had obviously been there before. He wanted to know why the Maitre D thought I was single, told me that the only plausible explanation was that I had been there before with other men. I tried so hard to tell him that it wasn't true but he kept insisting telling me that if I just admit it then everything would be ok. So finally I did it even though nothing could be further from the truth and that's when he grabbed me. He threw me up against the wall so hard that I was almost knocked out when my head thumped up against it._

_It seems so strange now looking back at it almost surreal. The way he ripped my skirt off and thrust himself up into me so hard that I actually screamed with pain. That seemed to please him though. He told me that he loved to hear me scream and that no other man could ever or would ever make me scream the way he did. He seemed so proud at that moment. After it was over he left me on the floor crying and laughed. "Maybe now you'll remember who you're married to," he said to me before he walked out leaving me out there on the kitchen floor. It was only hours later when I tried to go to bed that I discovered that he'd locked me out of the bedroom._

_I spent the night wide awake trying to figure out how I should make it up to him. Maybe I should have this baby that he wants so badly. I have to do whatever it takes to save my marriage. I can't leave him he was so sorry this morning explaining to me that it was just the fact that he loves me so much and the thought that another man might have touched me that made him act the way he did. How can I possibly be angry with him for loving me so much? I will never ever make him doubt me like that again. He seemed so hurt. I now know I just have to do better. I have to be a better wife._

God it just keeps getting worse Taylor thought but she barely paused before reading on to the next entry. It was dated three days later.

_I hate hospitals so much, those damn doctor's and nurses are so nosy and interfering. They should just mind their own business and do what they're paid for. I didn't ask for them to stick their nose into my marriage and I sure as hell don't want them to. Its not like there's anything they can do anyway I married Chris for better or for worse and just because we're going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment is no reason for other people to start interfering. We'll get through it._

_I feel so bad for Chris all he wants is to have a successful career as a musician and people just won't give him a chance. The gig that his manager lined up for him was cancelled because apparently somebody told the event organiser that Chris is unreliable. That is so unfair. Sure there have been a few occasions where he has decided at the last minute that he's unable to play but he always has a reason. These people are being so unreasonable. Chris is convinced that his career is in the toilet and I get the feeling that he sort of blames me. He told me last night that before he hooked up with me he was going places but now all anyone sees him as is husband of Haley Keller. I tried so hard to tell him that it isn't true that he has so many fans but he just wouldn't listen, kept insisting that he's nothing anymore. It didn't matter what I said or did he just wouldn't listen._

_Then I made things so much worse but I was just trying to help I really thought he'd be happy. I told him that I would speak to Tony my manager and get him to include him in my new tour that's coming up in a few months. It all happened so fast after that it was like a blur. I was on the ground and my head was bleeding. Chris was standing over me screaming at me. He called me a fucking bitch, screaming at me that he wasn't anybody's charity case let alone mine. I tried to explain to him that I didn't mean it like that and he didn't need any charity. I believe in him so much but he was just so angry I don't think he even heard me._

_He was pouring himself a drink and I got up to try and somehow get through to him just how much I love him and believe in him. I guess my reflexes were a bit slow because of the knock on my head because I never even ducked as he threw the bottle at my head._

_I must have been knocked out because when I woke up he was gone and I was all alone. I started to clean up the broken glass knowing how much he hates mess but before I could finish I heard the door open. I don't know how long he was gone for but his eyes looked so strange when he got back. He was smiling at me as he came up to me stroking his hand over my face and looking genuinely surprised when the dried blood came off on his fingers._

_He took me by the hand and led me into the bedroom where he undressed me so gently and took me into the shower. He washed the blood from my hair and face and cleaned my body then he put me into bed and just sat there beside me stroking my hair as he waited for me to fall asleep. It reminded me of all those nights after Nathan and I split up when he would sit by me as I couldn't sleep stroking my hair until eventually I would just fall asleep. I would wake up in the morning and he would be sound asleep on the sofa or sometimes even the floor beside my bed._

_I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew he was shaking me awake with this strange smile on his face. He was smoking a cigarette which didn't make sense since he hardly ever smokes unless he's been drinking and never inside. I asked him if he would put it out and he just laughed. When he spoke again I knew I was in trouble._

_He asked me if I had sweet dreams and I told him I didn't even know if I had been dreaming because I couldn't remember any dream. He smiled that strange smile again and then really quietly told me to stop lying. I promised him I wasn't lying and he seemed to believe me or at least that's what I thought. Then he held the cigarette up in front of my face and asked me what my problem was with it. I told him that I just don't like them. That's when it came out of nowhere. He made some comment; I think it went "Oh I bet your precious Nathan would never smoke would he?" I assured him that this had nothing to do with Nathan and it was like some switch was flipped inside of him. He pinned me down on the bed holding the lit cigarette over my chest and then slowly started to lower it towards me telling me not to lie._

"_You were dreaming about him weren't you?" he said to me. Then he told me that I had been saying Nathan's name in my sleep. I didn't know what to say I don't even know why I would dream about Nathan, Chris is my life now. I told him that I wasn't and that's when he did it he pushed the lit cigarette into my breast causing me the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. I could smell burning flesh and the whole time he did it he held my face in his other hand looking into my eyes and smiling._

_He told me he was going to make me forget about Nathan if it was the last thing he ever did and then he told me once more what I already know is true Nathan would never want someone like me now, the person that I've become. Chris is right I'm a whore who enjoys it when he makes me get on all fours and enters me from behind. Nathan would never want a slut like me. I destroyed everything that there ever was between us and if he could see me now he would be disgusted._

_I begged Chris to believe me, believe that anything that Nathan and I ever had is completely over, that he is the only man that I want to be with now and forever. But he wouldn't believe me no matter how much I begged. He got into bed beside me and went to sleep without another word and when I tried to touch him he pushed me away._

_This morning when I woke up I found him holding the bed covers up looking at the burn. That's when he told me that it was disgusting and I really should get it seen to, then he told me that the sight of it was enough to kill any attraction he felt towards me and if I ever wanted him to have sex with me again then I had to get rid of it or he would find someone that actually turned him on. Hearing him say that I knew what I had to do._

_Going to the hospital was nerve wracking walking into the waiting area I found it almost empty and was so relieved. I told the nurse that there had been an accident and I had been burnt. She told me to wait and someone would be with me as soon as possible. Sitting there all I wanted to do was run away but Chris' words kept ringing in my head and I knew I had to stay. When she called me into the examination cubicle I walked in. She was looking at me expectantly waiting for me to show her the burn. I removed my top, I wasn't wearing a bra it was too painful. I heard her gasp as she saw the reddened blister, perfectly round so obviously from a cigarette._

_She asked me how it happened and I could see the opportunity to finally tell someone the truth. I didn't honestly believe she would be able to do anything to help me but just the thought of being able to say the words out loud, to share the truth with another person, not to have to live this horror alone. I even opened my mouth ready to tell her the truth, this perfect stranger who didn't know me, didn't know Chris, didn't even know Nathan. Her eyes were filled with curiosity and then almost before I knew what was happening I told her the lie Chris had spent half an hour coaching me in before I left._

_I began to tell her how I had been out at a party the night before and it was really crowded inside and someone had walked into me with a cigarette. I could see she didn't believe me but I continued anyway. My words were spilling out so fast that she had no chance to interrupt me but eventually I ran out of things to say. She looked at me and I could see the pity in her eyes I wanted to run away before she had the opportunity to speak._

_I waited for the accusatory stare followed by the words that would tear down my every defence, all the walls that I've erected to protect me from people finding out the truth. I was so sure that the moment had come where someone was about to see beyond all of my pretences, seeing me for the pathetic creature that I've become. My mind was racing trying to find the words to refute the accusations that I was so sure were about to come flowing out of her mouth. But the only thing she said was to tell me that she could book me an appointment with a plastic surgeon within the next few weeks. The burn would have healed sufficiently by then for them to be able to assess it for the best possible course of action._

_The entire speech was delivered in the same flat emotionless tone and I found myself looking up into her eyes, looking for some sign of the pity she must be feeling. The distaste that she expected to see was either well hidden or non existent. Once again the thought that perhaps this woman could be my confidante or my escape route flashed through my mind. But the truth was always there the knowledge that there was nowhere for me to run to. Tree Hill was no longer an option for me the bridges had all been burnt. That was my past and my future could only ever be with Chris._

_My head was spinning at that moment, there were so many conflicting thoughts racing around as I told myself that my life was with Chris even as this stranger treated the latest damage he had inflicted to my body. I felt her move away from me and looked up at her freezing in place as I spotted the camera in her hands. I think she saw the fear in my eyes because she smiled at me before explaining that in order for the plastic surgeons to treat my breast properly they needed photos from when it was first treated._

_As she snapped picture after picture I knew deep down that this should be a humiliating experience but for some reason those emotions wouldn't come. As seemed to be the case more often than not lately I felt nothing. It's like the last few years have sucked something out of me and slowly but surely I've lost everything until I'm nothing but this shell. The photos were placed beside me on the table and I vaguely heard her tell me softly that she would be back soon. I knew that she wanted to give me a chance to look at the photos and maybe she thought that when I did I would suddenly see what it was she saw and I guess to a certain extent she was right. Seeing those pictures it was hard to believe that it was my own flesh so horribly disfigured but instead of making me want to get away from Chris instead it made me aware that I had to get home. I had to get away from this woman who even as I sat there could be causing all sorts of problems that I didn't want to even think about. Those photos sitting there almost seemed to be screaming my name and barely thinking I quickly put my shirt back on before grabbing them and running._

_As I sat in the back of the car heading back towards our apartment I felt for the first time in a long time a surge of anger coursing through my body. I could hardly believe it the longer I sat there the more I became convinced that she had indeed been looking at me with pity and I felt a rage unlike anything I could remember in recent history. I could hardly believe her nerve to actually pity me. Here I was a famous singer with the sort of marriage she could only dream about. My husband loved me so much more than any average man. The love we share goes above anything that I could have ever imagined experiencing if anything I should be full of pity for anyone not lucky enough to have a marriage such as mine. I knew Chris would find me a plastic surgeon when the time came, someone who could be discrete about our business._

_I'm sure he will support me through all the surgeries. He'll be there for me just like he always has been. I shudder now when I think about how disloyal I used to be towards him thinking that the only reason I needed his concern was because of the damage he himself inflicted but over time I have come to realise that this is simply not true. Sometimes I am filled with regret about the way my life has turned out. I had such plans for what I would do with my life and so little of it has transpired. Sure I have my career but what else is there. If I was to die tomorrow who would actually even notice bar Chris. He is all I have and slowly I have come to the realisation that perhaps he is all I need._

_Once my life was filled with so many people but before that there was a time when apart from my parents there was only one person who really mattered to me. We shared such a bond it's hard to believe that I will most likely never see him again but like so many things I have become used to the idea. Sure there are times when I miss all the stupid stuff we used to do together and the laughs we shared playing miniature golf and having water balloon faults but I guess that's kid stuff and now its time for me to start acting like the married woman that I have become. It's so strange sometimes to think that I'm a woman and considered to be a grown up by so many. In some ways I don't feel any different to how I did in high school but then in other ways it seems as if I've lived an eternity and seen so many things. There are nights where I lay in bed just wishing I could go back to those days when things were just simple, there were no complications and we just lived our lives in the shadows and all we had was each other because that was all we ever needed. I still remember the last time I saw Lucas. He and Brooke came to New York desperate to convince me to give up the tour and come home with them, come home to Nathan but I refused. The words he said to me in that moment I don't think I'll ever forget as long as I live. I tried to tell him that things were so much simpler when it was just the two of us. He gave me this look that to this day I don't think I can totally decipher and then he grabbed my hand and said "But it's not." Even though he kept holding my hand for several more minutes that was the moment that I knew that I had lost our friendship forever. I try not to let myself think about that too much it just hurts me but at the same time I am so terrified of forgetting all these things that so long ago made me who I was. Perhaps they have little to do with the person I am today but for a long time they shaped Haley James and to a smaller extent Haley James Scott. Haley Keller is a different being altogether._

_Oh God I have to stop here I hadn't realised how late it was getting Chris will be getting home from his meeting with the accountants any minute and I have to make sure you're put away somewhere safe._

Taylor shrieked as a hand grabbed her arm roughly.

"What the hell are you doing?" Brooke's shrill voice asked. "I can't believe you would sit here enjoying the sunshine while your sister is upstairs, the same sister you professed such concern for when you called me. I guess what they say is true a slut in leopard print doesn't change her spots."

Taylor passed her the book she had just finished reading. "Just shut up and read and then you can try to tell me that I'm not concerned about her. Oh and I'd be careful who you go around calling a slut if I were you. Lucas told me all about the first time the two of you met, something to do with you half naked in the backseat of his car I believe. Oh and if I'm not mistaken there was even some leopard print involved."

Brooke looked disdainfully at the book but she took it from her and opened it up an audible gasp coming from her lips as she saw what it was. She looked up at Taylor but she had already picked up the second book and began to read. Taking the hint Brooke sat down in the chair beside Taylor and started to allow the words to wash over her. She was terrified of what she would find and deep down she knew that she was about to discover the true evil that inhabited the earth. Her argument with Taylor forgotten as the words engrossed her entire being.


	9. A Puppet And Her Strings

**A.N Ok so latest chapter is done. I was waiting to get another opinion on it before I posted but its been one of those nights where no one has been around to have a read so I'm just going to go ahead and post it and hope for the best. Enjoy and make sure you leave me reviews. The ones that I got last time definitely encouraged me to get this chapter wrote and posted. Thanx to everyone who reviewed.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**A Puppet and Her Strings**

Taylor looked up at Brooke once more checking to make sure that she was indeed reading. If she truly wanted to help Haley then she too needed to know the true horror of the Keller marriage. Unlike her Brooke had not had prior cause for worry and what she was about to read would surely come as a shock to her. Not that she personally could care less about Brooke Davis but unfortunately she now knew more than ever that she was going to need her help. God she hated this having to turn to Brooke Davis of all people for help. She would have been perfectly content to never see that bitch again and now here she was inviting her into her house on a regular basis, allowing that woman to be around her son. The very thought of it made her sick to her stomach.

Brooke looked up at that moment regarding her quizzically as she saw the way the other woman was studying her. Without a word Taylor turned her attention back to the book in front of her. She had nothing to say to Brooke especially when every time she looked at her she was reminded of the way she had spoken to her before she had left town four years ago. That woman was nothing but a bitch and if it wasn't for Haley she would have preferred to forget that she even existed.

Picking up the book she once again began to read. The entries now were much shorter and had lost the desperation of the earlier ones. Now the recounts of her day to day existence were almost clinical in their descriptions. Haley had obviously accepted that this was her life and it would be that way until the day she died. The only time there was the slightest hint of emotion was when Haley described the love she felt for Chris and spoke about the good times. As hard as it was for Taylor to believe there were what Haley considered to be good times and Haley seemed to cling to those moments almost desperately making the slightest gesture into something so much more than it ever would be to someone involved in a normal loving relationship. The excitement she expressed when Chris would tell her that she had done a good job in her latest concert or told her that her hair looked good went above and beyond anything that Taylor would have ever expected from such a simple gesture.

The other worrying aspect as far as Taylor was concerned was the isolation Haley seemed to feel even when she was on the stage. There would be thousands of people out in the crowd worshipping the very ground she walked on and all Haley could think about was what they would think of her if they knew the truth. Taylor had read the magazine articles over the years labelling Haley as a celebrity that preferred to stay out of the lime light only now it made a lot more sense. She could definitely understand why Haley had cut herself off from the rest of the world, the more Taylor had read the more apparent Chris' brainwashing of his wife had become. It seemed as if Haley could barely think for herself anymore. It was almost as if she was nothing more than a puppet with Chris tugging on all of her strings. She seemed to truly believe that he was all she had in the world. He had convinced her that she was dirty and no one from her past whether they be family, friends or merely acquaintances would want anything to do with her. She was especially convinced of how disgusted Nathan would be to see the woman she had become.

Reading this journal was making her physically sick and yet it was as if she was unable to tear herself away from the horror of it all. It was almost like witnessing a car wreck, no matter how much she may have wanted to turn away some ghoulish sense of curiosity would not allow her to stop before she had seen it all and knew everything that her sister had experienced. It was the only way she could help her and help her she must because without help Haley would never have any hope of recovery.

_God I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared I might lose Chris. Last night he threatened to leave me. I can't let him do that, he's the only thing I have left, without him I'd be so lost. He helps me so much, not only with my singing and music but with every aspect of my career, my life really. I try so hard to be the perfect wife but somehow I'm still lacking. There is always something that I'm not doing right. I don't know why I can't be the perfect wife for him. I just seem to constantly let him down._

_But last night was the worst yet. I truly thought I was going to lose him. He wanted me to….God it kills me to even write it but he brought this other girl home with him and told me that she would be joining us for the night. I was so shocked and I didn't know what to say. I tried to talk to him alone and tell him that I wasn't comfortable with it but he refused to listen, saying that I had forced him to do it. If I wasn't so boring in bed he wouldn't have had to go and find someone else to liven things up. I tried to tell him that I would do better but he was so determined. Then he threatened that if I didn't do what he wanted then he would leave me. Hearing him talk about how alone I would be and how no one would want anything to do with me was one of the most terrifying things I have ever heard. I looked into his eyes and I could see that he meant every word that he was saying. He took us into the bedroom and the things he made me do I could never have imagined I almost thought I was going to be sick. Chris seemed so excited at first as he made us kiss and sat beside us his hands stroking over our bodies. The look in his eyes was one that he used to always look at me with, pure lust but I haven't seen that from him in the longest time._

_I tried so hard to do what he wanted and to make it special for him. I did my best to act as if I was enjoying myself, trying to make all the right noises and smiling and laughing. I could feel his eyes on me knowing that he was watching my every move it was all I could do not to throw up. In my head I was praying for it to end but outwardly I was loving every moment of it._

_Finally it ended; Chris barely looked at the other girl as he told her to leave. When he came back into the bedroom I waited for him to join me in the bed but he simply walked over to stand beside it. I knelt up to kiss him and was unprepared for the slap that came flying at my face. I fell back onto the bed as he screamed at me telling me how disgusting I was and he couldn't believe I would do such a thing. I tried to tell him that I only did it because it was what he wanted but it was like he didn't even hear me._

_He punched me so hard that I threw up then pushed my face down into it asking me what it was like. Did I think it was disgusting? I nodded silently and he told me that now I should understand how he feels about me. He told me I was nothing but a dirty whore and why on earth would he want me when every man and his dog had had me and now it seemed probably a lot of women too. I told him that I only did it because I thought that was what he wanted but he laughed when he heard that and told me I should just be grateful that at least he still feels enough pity for me that he lets me stay here._

_His voice was almost hypnotic as he told me to imagine what Nathan would think if he saw what I had just done. He would know just like everyone else that I'm nothing but a filthy whore. God he didn't want you before when you were little Miss Perfect just think how he would feel about you now. He would send you packing just like he did the last time except this time he would slam the door in your face instead of just closing it. Those were the words he used and I knew that they were the truth, not that it really matters anymore. My marriage to Nathan feels like another lifetime ago. I no longer allow myself to think about it._

_For just a moment I wanted to scream at him and tell him that it wasn't true but I couldn't do it because I know that he's exactly right. How could Nathan…. How could anyone love me after the things I've done? Without Chris I would have no one. Almost as suddenly as he had started he stopped yelling and stalked around to his side of the bed undressing quickly. He got into bed and turned away from me throwing my hand off when I tried to touch him. After he fell asleep I cried for ages. I don't know what to do to make him happy anymore. I'm so scared that I'm going to lose him one day._

Several weeks went by before there was another entry.

_I'm so happy at the moment everything between Chris and I is so perfect. I had to go to rehearsal and when I got home Chris had cooked me an amazing dinner. He told me that he wants us to go away together to have some time just for the two of us then he gave me a present. It was the most beautiful shawl, just the kind of thing that I wanted. The colour is a beautiful shade of turquoise green that he told me brings out my eyes and it is made of the finest silk. I absolutely love it. He gave me a pile of brochures for holiday destinations and told me to pick one. I can pick anywhere that I would like to go and it will be just like a second honeymoon for us. I'm so excited trying to decide where we should go. I think it would be so great to go somewhere with a beautiful beach….Maybe St Tropez. Can you imagine it, just me and Chris on a gorgeous beach drinking cocktails and making love under the star?. I have to go now and choose where I want to go but I'm just so excited I had to share this news with someone and I guess these days you're the closest thing I have to a friend._

There was no entry for more than a month after that and Taylor could only assume that they had gone on their trip and things had been so good that Haley had not felt the need to write. Finally there was a short note saying how much she had enjoyed their time in St Tropez but there was little of any note in it and Taylor hurriedly skipped ahead a few more pages.

_I can't believe that I messed things up between us again just when things were going so well. As has become almost a regular occurrence lately he cooked dinner for us. I could see that he was really excited about something and assumed that he had finally had some good news about a gig._

_We sat down and started eating and he told me that he had a surprise for me. When I asked him what it was for a moment he acted all secretive but I could see that he was bursting to tell me. Finally he got up from the table and brought back a piece of paper covered in his handwriting. There were a heap of addresses scrawled on it and little notes beside each one that I couldn't quite figure out._

_I asked him what it was and that was when he shocked the hell out of me. He told me that these were addresses of properties for us to go look at. He wanted us to buy a house. I was totally confused, didn't understand why he would want to give up our beautiful apartment. He told me that we needed to upgrade and that we needed the extra space. I told him that this place had more than enough space for the two of us but he told me that it wouldn't be the two of us for much longer. I sat there shocked as he reached under the table and pulled out a paper bag, reaching inside he pulled out two items. The first one I recognised straight away it was my birth control pill, I gasped as he laid it on the table and he laughed as he saw the look of terror on my face._

"_Now Haley," he said still smiling at me "did you really think I wouldn't find out?" I cowered in my chair as I waited for the inevitable attack to come but he merely continued to smile as the second item came to rest beside the first. To start with I didn't recognise the box until I looked closer and saw the clearly printed words. **Home Pregnancy Test... 100 percent accurate….**_

_My heart felt as if it was trying to escape through my throat as I looked at him not knowing what to say. He pushed the box across the table towards me and told me to go into the bathroom and use it._

_I asked him what the point was when he knew that I was on the pill but he just gave me this funny smile and told me that I was wrong. He had found my birth control pill weeks ago and had a friend of a friend make up a fake one. The packaging was the same but what was inside of it did nothing to stop me getting pregnant. He laughed again as he saw the horror on my face. "Think about it Haley," he said "the way we've been going at it lately our baby could be growing inside you even as we speak."_

_It was as if my mouth had a mind of its own as I began to speak barely pausing for breath. The words came spilling out and I had no control over them. I told him that there was no way I was going to bring a baby into this hell and that if I was pregnant it would be the worst thing that ever happened to me. The whole time I was screaming at him he just sat there smiling at me almost serenely and I'm sure that I felt what it was like for my blood to run cold._

Taylor read on and on barely able to comprehend the horror of what she was reading. When finally she finished she slammed the book down onto the table causing Brooke to almost jump out of her chair in shock. She looked at her questioningly but Taylor was in no mood to answer questions. She jerked out of her chair and took off at a run inside storming up the stairs and into Haley's room. She walked to the dresser ripping the clothes from the drawers madly as Haley looked on in shock. After every drawer was empty she turned her attention to the closet pulling every article of clothing from it throwing shoes across the room as she ransacked the room.

"Taylor what the hell are you doing?" Haley asked getting up from the bed and walking to where her sister was trying to make sense of the destruction that she was being confronted with.

Taylor didn't answer though instead turning to the bed and yanking the covers from it tearing the pillows open so that feathers floated around the room. She heaved the mattress off the bed but still was unsuccessful. Finally she stopped and turned to Haley breathing heavily.

"Where the hell are they?" she asked.

"What?" Haley asked genuinely confused a definite fear in her eyes as she looked at the wildness in her sisters gaze.

"The other journals," Taylor screeched "and don't bother denying it because I know damn well that there would have been others. I know you Haley and there is no way that you wouldn't have continued to write them. So where the hell are they?"

Haley visibly blanched, "You read them?" she asked incredulously. "Oh God Taylor please don't say you read them."

"Yes I read them Haley and you know what I'm glad I did. It helped me to understand why you're so completely fucked up but you need to show me the rest. I can't help you unless I know everything. Show me the damn journals Haley. Help me understand."

Haley's face lost all semblance of colour as she sank down to the floor. "Get out Taylor," she said quietly at first but when Taylor continued to stand there her hands planted firmly on her hips she began to yell. "Get the fuck out Taylor; you had no right to read those. It's none of your damn business."

"None of my business have you completely lost your mind," Taylor screamed at her. "Of course this is my business you're my sister and there is no way I can pretend that I don't know what has happened. I'm trying to help you Haley."

"Well who the hell asked you to?" Haley demanded. "I sure as hell didn't."

Taylor looked at her wanting to continue the fight but she knew deep down that it would get her nowhere. Haley had changed a lot from the girl she once was but one thing remained true and that was her stubbornness. She turned to look at her once more before leaving the room.

"You know that I only want to help don't you Haley?"

Her question was met with silence and she left the room knowing that she had once again failed in her attempts to help her sister.

Haley sunk down onto the mattress now laying on the floor her mind swirling with memories. As much as she had tried to block it out everything that had happened in the time leading up to her return to Tree Hill came flooding back into her mind.

_**Flashback**_

_She walked into the house and found Chris sitting on the couch the room around him resembling the site of a tornado. Cushions from the sofa were torn open pieces of paper littered the room, broken glass was scattered across the floor and in the midst of this carnage sat Chris Keller calmly sipping a drink, the only clue to his true emotional turbulence the glint in his eyes._

_Running his eyes over her body he smirked. "So my darling wife it seems you have been keeping your true talent hidden. All this time I thought your skill lay in singing, well that and whoring, but it seems you were holding out on me. Who would have thought that you were such an accomplished writer of fiction?"_

_Haley looked at him completely confused as she tried to make sense of his words but her mind remained blank. She could feel something gnawing at her sub conscious as if deep down she knew what this was all about but she couldn't quite get a hold of the idea. The alcohol she had drunk in the limo on the drive back from the recording studio was making it difficult to think as she stared at her husband waiting to see what she had done this time. These days she didn't even both trying to deny it when he accused her of her supposed latest atrocity. She knew now that no matter what she did he would always find something that was wrong, something that she needed to be punished for and so she stood patiently waiting for his explanation._

_She had known before she had come home that she would be beaten tonight just as she had been every night for almost as long as she could remember. She didn't even know how long it had been since they had become a daily occurrence all she knew was that this was what her life was and there was nothing she could do that would ever change it._

_Sometimes she wondered about the people around her, the studio execs, promoters all of these people who professed to have such an interest in her. How was it possible that none of them had realised the truth of her life. She knew that Chris was always careful to hit her only in places that would be easily covered with clothes and for those odd occasions where he did slip up she had become an adept liar easily spilling forth what she believed to be plausible excuses for the bruising that would appear on her skin._

_Chris had definitely been canny in so many aspects of her life. From an early time in her career he had ensured that she never spent any real length of time with anyone apart from him. Backing singers, musicians, recording execs all passed through like ships in the night never in her life long enough to form a real relationship with her and soon she stopped even trying. It was pointless when Chris was in control of every aspect of her life._

_He had decided very early on that he would manage her career and this had given him carte blanche to control everything that went on in her life. He now not only knew what she was doing in every moment of her free time but also was in command of her career in its entirety. He managed everything from what songs she would sing and where she would perform to the clothes she would wear on stage and the items that would be present in her dressing room before and after a show. Like most managers he would decide who she would give interviews to but unlike any other manager she had ever known he would also decide what fans she would sign autographs for and had control of every dime she earned. Very early on in their marriage he had convinced her that it was best to let him handle all of their finances and so he had taken the cards from her, had ensured that all of the accounts were joint and then systematically deposited all of their content into other accounts opened only in his name. She could barely remember the last time she had been shopping for her own clothes or make up, Chris had bought it all for her, buying only the things that he approved of._

_She looked at him sitting in front of her on the sofa still smiling that ridiculous half smile and was hit with the knowledge that somehow this time it was worse. No matter what had come before it, nothing would compare to what was about to happen._

_Chris reached down between the sofa cushions pulling out something that struck fear into her heart from the first glimpse she got. The leather binding was so familiar, he had gotten hold of one of her journals, her eyes darted around the room mentally calculating the hiding places of the other two journals that still remained in the house. She had been careless recently by not taking them to the bank vault where the others were kept but her paranoia had grown so much recently that she had become convinced that the staff of the bank were probably reading their content and she had been too afraid to show her face there again, scared of what she might see in their eyes._

"_What is this Haley?" he had asked her his voice oddly quiet, as his eyes had bored into hers._

"_It's nothing Chris really; it was just me being silly."_

_He stood suddenly moving across the room to stand in front of her. Opening the book he began to read deliberately toning his voice to be high pitched and whiny._

_**Last night Chris made me give him a blowjob. Why can't he understand how much I hate to do that? I think it's the most disgusting thing ever but I knew if I didn't do it then he would beat me. Hah who am I kidding he'd beat me no matter what.**_

_Chris stopped there and looked at his wife. "How the hell could you do this to me? After everything I did for you this is how you repay me. You write lies about me. What the hell were you planning to do with them? Oh let me guess it's not enough for you to be a famous singer you thought you'd turn your hand to a life as an author too. All I've ever done is try to love you and help you to be your best. Do you really think anyone else could have loved you the way I have? Do you think your pretty boy big shot basketball player would have stood by you when he knew the truth about the sort of person you really are. No one else could have loved you Haley but I did and this is the thanks I get. Lies all lies." He screamed his temper finally getting the best of him._

_Grabbing her frail body in his hands he tossed her as if she were nothing more than a bag of trash across the room, her body slamming into the wall temporarily knocking the air out of her lungs. As she stood there slumped over gasping for breath she heard his words. "You're nothing but a trashy little whore. I gave you everything and for what? What did I ever get out of it? All I got was a washed up career and a whore of a wife. You destroyed everything for me, everything I worked so hard for and it's all gone because of you. Well I'm not going to let you take anything else from me. That's all you've ever done is take, take, take well that's over now. You're never going to get the chance to take anything from anyone ever again. Ok maybe I did hit you a couple of times but it was only because you made me do it, just like you're making me do it now. Do you think this is how I want to live my life? Do you honestly think this is the sort of marriage I wanted for us when I asked you to marry me? Well it's not none of this has turned out the way I wanted it too. Why couldn't you be who I wanted you to be?" he yelled his arms waving around as he appeared to finally lose the last shred of sanity he was still holding._

_His fist slammed into her stomach causing her to double over in pain unaware of the next attack already aimed at her body. His kick caught her legs knocking her to the ground almost immediately being followed up by his boot connecting with her stomach. She felt bile rise in her throat followed quickly by the contents of her stomach spilling out over his boot. This only served to enrage him more his boot slamming over and over into her stomach. She could feel her ribs crack, hear the terrible crunching sound and in that moment she doubted whether she would ever make it out of there alive. I t wasn't the first time in the past seven years that she had considered the possibility of death, the frightening thing was she thought about it on almost a daily basis and the thought no longer filled her with fear instead she felt almost a sense of relief that perhaps it would all finally end._

_Any dreams she had once held for her life no longer existed all she wished for now was for it to end. His voice went on and on telling her how they would be together forever, how she would never be away from him. Reminding her again and again of why they ended up together. Finally he had stopped, demanding that she give him a blowjob. She knew that things would only get worse if she refused but she simply could not get up onto her knees to do what he wanted._

_**End Flashback**_

Coming out of her reverie Haley lay on the mattress staring dry eyed at the ceiling. It occurred to her to wonder why she didn't cry. She wasn't even sure if she still had the ability to cry, it was so long since she had last done so. She knew that most people would consider her to be some sort of emotional recluse, too scared to allow herself to feel after so long of denying herself. She was sure that if Taylor or Brooke knew that she didn't cry they would immediately ship her off to an asylum certain that she was no longer in control of her faculties.

Downstairs Brooke placed the book down on the table leaning forward and allowing her head to rest in her hands. It was all just too horrible, and she knew that she had barely scratched the surface of what had happened. The second journal still lay on the ground where Taylor had dropped it as she rushed inside and Brooke desperately wished that she could simply leave it there and pretend that it didn't exist, but she knew that was impossible.

She could only hope that whatever this book held that it couldn't be as bad as what she had just read. If only she knew that the story was about to get a whole lot worse and nothing she had read so far would prepare her for what was to come. Besides at least she had been at least partly prepared for what was inside these journals. Taylor had read them knowing only what she had learnt seeing Haley's injuries after she had arrived back in Tree Hill. It must have been shocked her to her core reading what had happened to her during the years since she had last seen her. She was slightly surprised that Haley had allowed her to read the journals at all but assumed that Taylor must have taken them from her room while she was sleeping.

As both women sat pondering their own senses of guilt neither was aware of how just how much they had in common in terms of their knowledge of Haley's predicament. For now they blamed themselves but how long would it take for that sense of blame to be turned on each other.


	10. A Woman Scorned

**A.N Wow you've probably all forgotten all about me and this story its been so long since I updated...I want to give you all a huge apology for that...Sometimes real life just gets in the way of the fictionalworld I create here thatI would prefer to be losing myself in...Well unfortunately I can't promise any more updates any time soon as I'm moving house this weekend and have to have the internet connected at my new apartment which they are saying could take up to a month...But hopefully that will just give me lots of time to work on some new chapters for you all...Hope this one was worth the extraordinarily long wait...I did make it a really long one to try and make up for that...So enjoy and I promise the next one will include some of that man we all love...Ahh Nathan...Where on earth do I get one of him?...Lol...**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**A Woman Scorned**

Brooke dropped the book to the ground the urge to scrub her skin overwhelming. What she had just read went above and beyond anything she would ever have dreamed possible. She felt as if the words had somehow coated her in their filth, the nature of the torment Haley had endured not merely confined to the page but tainting the air around her. She was finding it difficult to breathe and knew she had to get away from it. Turning she walked briskly into the house pausing as she saw Taylor sitting on the sofa a half empty bottle of whiskey standing on the table before her an empty glass beside it. She could see the freshly formed ice cubes sitting untouched in the glass. She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at the other woman, no matter what the circumstances the very sight of the other woman was enough to make her skin crawl. Her feelings made more than apparent to Taylor as she looked up and caught sight of the glare Brooke regarded her with.

"For your information Brooke I haven't touched a damn drop so quit looking at me like that. I read the same stuff you did and the last thing I need right now is your sanctimonious bullshit so either keep your opinions to yourself or go home."

Brooke didn't say a word in response, simply stalked over to where Taylor sat taking the glass from her hand and picking up the bottle with her other hand. She poured a large drink then tipping her head back downed the entire contents of the glass in one gulp. She pulled a face as the alcohol burnt its way down her throat before turning back to Taylor.

"I would think if there was ever a situation that called for a drink then this is it. Here," she said thrusting the bottle in the other woman's direction. Taylor took it wordlessly not bothering with a glass as she drank straight from the bottle.

Brooke sat down opposite Taylor both silent initially as they processed the enormity of what they had read passing the bottle back and forth between them intermittently until it was empty.

Minutes stretched endlessly before them before Brooke spoke again. "How do we help her?" she asked in a small voice.

"I wish I knew," Taylor answered. "I don't know how she survived as long as she did with everything that he did to her. Someone should have put a stop to it long ago." Brooke stiffened as Taylor's words hit her, wondering how she could know that she had known and not acted all those years ago. She shot a look in the other woman's direction looking for the accusation that she was certain would be present in her eyes.

Taylor though was unaware of the guilt suffocating Brooke because she was too caught up in her own feelings of self blame. After reading the journals she could no longer attempt to justify her long ago decision to walk away from Haley when whether or not she had consciously admitted it she had been aware that her baby sister was in the clutches of a monster. She had known the truth and left her there and for that she could never forgive herself.

Brooke on the other hand while dealing with her own feelings of blame for what she had done or more to the point failed to do had to face up to the fact that she had left Haley there because of her own anger and feelings of betrayal. She had been too caught up in how it was all affecting her, in her grief over Peyton that she had willingly walked away from someone that she had considered a friend consigning her to a life of pure hell.

Suddenly the words filling her mind spilled forth from her mouth startling Taylor with the force behind them.

"This is all my fault. I should have made her leave. God what sort of friend does this make me?" she said throwing her hands up into the air for emphasis.

Taylor stared at her in shock waiting for her tirade to end. She hardly knew what to say in response, she couldn't begin to imagine why Brooke would hold herself responsible for Haley's plight. She knew if anyone was to blame than it was her and yet here Brooke was claiming responsibility for all that had happened.

"Shut up Brooke you're being ridiculous. I know damn well this isn't your fault so quit trying to push yourself into the limelight. Not everything is about you or haven't you figured that out by now?" Taylor had barely looked up as she spoke, her attention focused solely on the glass she held in her hand, the liquid swishing against the sides as she turned it around examining it closely as if looking for the meaning of life amidst its amber depths.

Brooke however was anything but calm as she stood arms akimbo glaring at the other woman. "You actually have the gall to accuse me of being self centred? Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? You the queen of narcissism is sitting here telling me that I'm only interested in myself. What the hell do you think I'm doing here? If I was so selfish I would have told you to Fuck Off when you called me asking me to come but instead I packed up my life, left my job that I love to come back here, the one place I never wanted to set foot in again. Do you really think I enjoy being here with you?" she spat the words at Taylor venom shooting from her eyes.

Taylor stood leaning aggressively towards Brooke one finger pointed menacingly close to her face. "Don't you dare come into my house and start with your high and mighty shit. We've all heard your sob story Brooke. Yes I slept with Lucas, yes I got pregnant and yes it happened after Peyton's funeral but did it ever occur to you why Brooke. Did it for one second cross your tiny little brain as to just why it happened. It was because of you Brooke because you were too caught up in how everything was affecting you to actually stop and think that maybe other people were hurting too. You weren't there for him Brooke so somebody had to be."

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me. You're trying to tell me that that entire disgusting mess was somehow my fault. You're trying to tell me I'm somehow to blame for the fact that you're nothing but a slut, a fake blonde tramp who would fuck just about anyone or anything that looked sideways at you. My best friend in the world had just died not to mention the fact that I had been to see Haley. Maybe I wasn't ready to admit it even to myself but I knew what Chris was doing. I knew and it was eating me up inside but hey according to you I was supposed to forget all about that and baby-sit my boyfriend. He was a big boy and if he couldn't keep it in his pants just because I wasn't paying any attention to him then I guess he's really not who I thought he was." She stood waiting for Taylor to once again accuse her of thinking only of herself the words of defence already forming on her tongue.

But Taylor had latched onto something else in Brooke's burst of vitriol and regarded her curiously for a moment before continuing in a much calmer manner. "You knew?" she asked a touch of incredulity creeping into her tone "But how? I thought I was the only one," she continued almost under her breath but Brooke heard what she said and her own confusion reigned on her face.

But before Brooke could speak Taylor spoke again "And for your information I'm a natural blonde."

"Whatever," Brooke shrugged off her response her interest focused on the other part of what she had said. "What did you mean when you said you thought you were the only one?"

"Nothing," she said hurriedly.

"But," Brooke pressed on clearly not satisfied with her answer.

"But nothing," Taylor interrupted harshly. "It's none of your damn business."

"Taylor for God's sake you said it now if you truly think that you're not the only one then perhaps you should tell me what the hell you are talking about and maybe we can start doing what is best for Haley and stop this bitchiness. You supposedly want to help Haley so let's just concentrate on her. I don't like you and you don't like me….."

"Hah that's putting it mildly," Taylor broke in and was rewarded with a glare from Brooke.

"But," Brooke continued on as if Taylor hadn't even spoken "You and I are all she's got right now. We're the only ones who know the whole truth so we need to talk about this." She paused waiting for Taylor to argue again but the blonde woman remained silent.

As the silence stretched between them Brooke continued in a more gentle tone of voice. "You saw it too didn't you."

There was still no response from the other woman and so Brooke pressed on. "You saw the evidence of what Chris was doing and you walked away just like I did."

"Look she didn't want my help ok. I tried to get her to leave with me and she wouldn't. What the hell did you expect me to do? It's not like I could drag her out of there against her will. Besides," she finished off quietly repeating her earlier words as if trying to convince herself of their truth "she didn't want my help."

As she had spoken her shoulders had slumped even further and it appeared to Brooke that the other woman was literally caving in on herself. The last thing Brooke would pride herself on would be having any understanding whatsoever of what makes Taylor James tick and quite simply she hoped never to have to enter the dark abyss that was Taylor's mind but that didn't mean that Brooke was a complete ogre when it came to Taylor's feelings. It was hard to claim no knowledge of how the other woman was feeling when those exact same feelings were coursing through Brooke's body even as she looked at the other woman.

That counted for little though when it came to Brooke's feelings regarding the older James sister. No matter how much she wanted to simply concentrate on the current situation and how she and Taylor could somehow help Haley together she couldn't shake the unbelievably strong feelings of disgust she felt when she looked at Taylor. Even after all this time the mere sight of her face was enough to conjure all those images that she had tried for so long to bury. She still didn't understand why it had all happened and although she told herself she didn't care what had led to it, deep down just the very mention of the names Lucas Scott and Taylor James was enough to twist her gut into knots. It was killing her just to be in the same town as the two of them and their child and now here she was actually considering doing something that would require her to spend time with at least Taylor on a regular basis.

Brooke could feel her anger growing inside of her as she looked at the other woman sitting painting such a pathetic picture of dejection on the sofa. "What so you think that gives you the right to just walk away? She didn't want your help. What a load of shit. She's your sister."

"Well you know what Brooke I'm not the only one who could have helped her. As you said yourself you knew what Chris was doing to her. But you used every excuse in the world to just bury your head in the sand and act ignorant although I guess that wouldn't have been much of a stretch for you now would it. Ignorance is what you're known best for isn't it or wait is that arrogance. No wait come to think of it back in high school from everything I've heard your best feature was how wide you spread your…."

She was stopped by a stinging slap delivered across her cheek. "You can not be serious. You of all people are accusing me of being a slut. Jesus Taylor I'm surprised you even know who Zach's father is. Or did you just wait till he was born and take a guess based on what he looked like. Hell I don't know if that's the most reliable method you might want to get a DNA test although that will probably only work if you kept a little black book. No hang on there may be another way why don't you go down to the STD clinic I'm sure there will be plenty of your old clients…Oops I mean boyfriends hanging around there. Actually while you're having his DNA tested you might want to have him booked in for some other tests too who knows what he may have picked up in the womb."

"Oh that is it," Taylor screamed. "There is a lot of shit I can take about my past and some of the things I've done but you leave my son out of it. He has nothing to do with this. You say you're here to help Haley well do you want to tell me how rehashing all of your issues with the past is going to help her. Yes Lucas and I fucked and yes as a result we got a son but for Fuck's sake that was five years ago. Move on already."

"Move on…You can't be serious?"

"I know you're going to find this hard to believe but there are bigger issues here than you Brooke. So why don't you take your head out of your ass and start thinking about someone else for a change."

"What the way you do?" Brooke bit out sarcastically "such a model of virtue and compassion for your fellow man. You're a joke Taylor. Whatever you think my faults may be well you've got them all and then some. God knows how Zach has survived this long with you for a mother but I guess its one of those natural survival instinct things. Guess if having you for a mother hasn't killed him nothing will."

"I give up," Taylor said throwing her arms up into the air, "just get out of my house its obvious that you're not here to help Haley and can't see past your own shit enough to actually be of any use so you may as well just leave now."

Brooke looked at the other woman so many emotions swirling around in her body. Here was her chance to walk away, she could probably even justify it to herself later, tell herself that she had wanted to help Haley but Taylor had made it impossible but the truth was she knew that if she walked away now she would be forever saying goodbye to any chance she had of being whole again. Although she found it hard to admit her life in San Diego was anything but fulfilling. She remembered thinking when she had first seen Haley after returning to Tree Hill a couple of days previously that she looked to be nothing more than a shell of who she once was but was she herself any different. She put on a face of bravado and bluster when in public but only she knew about the long, lonely nights she had spent caught up in the 'what ifs' of the past. If she walked away now would she ever be able to truly escape them, would she ever be free of the demons that haunted her dreams at night and if not how could she ever hope to live her life. In actual fact she knew if she walked away now that there would be even more demons to add to the ones already in possession of her soul. Guilt over leaving Haley would eat at her until there was no longer anything left to identify her as the person she once was.

Brooke sat down opposite Taylor watching her quietly.

"Don't you have a plane to catch?" the older woman asked nastily.

"I'm not going anywhere," Brooke said quietly but firmly. "I'm going to stick this out. Haley needs both of us and I'm not leaving till this is resolved one way or another."

Taylor appeared to consider her words for a moment before silently nodding. What she didn't stop to consider though was what exactly it was that Brooke was hoping to resolve.

"Ok well you read those journals just the same as I did. I mean how she survived that last attack that she wrote about in her journal I'll never know. Not so much the physical side but what that must have done to her mind…."

"Stop," Brooke said holding a hand up to put a halt to the other woman's words "I don't think I can talk about it. What we need to find out is if there are more journals. Maybe we could have a professional take a look at them or something or maybe we should give them to the police as evidence of what he did to her."

"I don't even know if they would be able to use them. Is something like that even admissible if this goes to court? Oh and before you go looking for more journals I may as well save you the bother I already tried and there was no sign of them."

"What do you mean if it goes to court? Why wouldn't it?"

Taylor sighed, "You've seen the state she's in," she said with a shrug "How likely do you think it is that they are going to be able to get her to testify and let's face it without that they really aren't going to have much of a case against him?"

"Do you think she'll do it?" Brooke asked even though she was fairly certain that she knew the answer to her question. Haley was stuck in the belief that Chris loved her and that everything that had happened between them had been simply a sign of that love. How could they possibly hope to get her to testify against the man that had become her whole life in the past five years?

"But she has to," Brooke continued as her question remained unanswered, "he can't be allowed to get away with what he did. Those things he did he deserves to have his balls cut off not just get a slap on the wrist and sent on his way. God what does someone have to do before they'll start using castration as a form of punishment? I bet if that was used these cretins would think twice before doing what they do."

"He really hurt her," Taylor said quietly, "I don't even know how she lived through it. I doubt I could I guess Haley's stronger than I ever gave her credit for."

"Now the only question is how much does she have left?" Brooke asked but Taylor knew she didn't really expect an answer. That was the unknown element in this whole scenario…just how much more could Haley take.

They looked at each other as they heard the sound of a door opening upstairs and then a pair of feet padding down the hall followed by the sound of the bathroom door closing.

"So she's still keeping herself locked away in her room?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah it's all I can do to get her to even talk to me let alone actually spend any time down here with me. She barely even acknowledges Zach's existence." Taylor saw a flash of pain in Brooke's eyes at the mention of Zach's name but pressed on regardless. "He's here you know, a part of reality and she just has to accept that."

Although her words could easily have been construed to be nothing more than a continuation of their conversation about Haley, Brooke couldn't help but wonder if they were not at least partially directed at her also. She was once again starting to have major doubts about the merits of her decision to help out Taylor with Haley. It seemed that no matter what they talked about the subject would inevitably turn back to Zach or Lucas and that knife of despair would once again pierce her very soul. She had no idea how Haley had survived what she had when it was all she could do not to curl herself up into a ball and shut out the world just dealing with that single event from five years ago. In some ways it made her wonder just what sort of a weak individual this made her, still all these years later trying to hide from the pain of seeing the man she had believed to be her soul mate with his child borne by another woman. Here Haley was having been through what could only be described as hell on earth and she had continued for years to go about her life as if nothing was amiss while Brooke had run from everything, living half a life while telling herself that it was what she wanted.

Yet she knew deep down that Haley had not truly lived during that time. Putting an act on to the rest of the world, hiding herself under the comforting blanket of denial while she allowed Chris to do what he had done on such a regular basis. No matter what her life had been in the last five years at least she hadn't lived with the constant fear that each day could be her last. Haley had been through hell and back and now it was up to them to try to bring her back to some sort of semblance of a real life.

She was broken out of her thoughts by Taylor standing up and walking to the phone, her eyes were locked onto Brooke as she picked it up dialling a number that was obviously fully memorised. She knew who she was calling without having to ask and although she wanted to block out the call she found herself listening intently.

"Luke, it's me. Is Zach ok?" She smiled as she listened to the father of her child.

"I know," she said with a chuckle "he did the same thing to me the other day."

Brooke felt the pain of listening to the two of them obviously so connected discussing the one thing that would always link them. Once again that voice of discontent whispered in her head. "That should be me and Lucas discussing our child," but Taylor's next words shocked it into silence.

"Well I need you to bring him home now, there's something Brooke and I need to talk to you about."

Brooke quickly jumped to her feet looking frantically at Taylor. The thought that the other woman might be deliberately trying to punish her flittering across her mind but Taylor paid her no heed.

"Brooke and I discovered some pretty disturbing stuff today and I really think you need to be a part of this. How soon can you be here?"

Taylor listened to the response from the other end of the phone and nodded clearly satisfied with the answer she had received.

"Ok we'll see you then. Give my little boy a kiss for me."

She hung up looking triumphant before turning back to Brooke unprepared for the glass of water that came flying at her face.

"What the hell was that about? You just ring Lucas and invite him around here without even having the decency to at least tell me first."

"What is your problem," Taylor yelled back equally angry. "It's my house, Haley is my sister and he is her best friend in the world, you must have known that I would bring him into this. It's time we forgot all about the issues we all have with each other and start doing what's best for Haley and that means you, me and Lucas all working together."

"But," Brooke said already forming her arguments to the contrary.

"No buts," Taylor said forcefully "now Lucas will be here in about half an hour. I need to go have a shower before he comes. Do whatever the hell it is you do to fill your time, watch The Bold and The Beautiful, drink yourself into a stupor or sit there and mope about how life double crossed you, but you just make sure you're still here when I get back because if you're not I'll tell you now don't bother ever coming back here. Haley and I will manage just fine without you."

Brooke slumped back onto the sofa knowing that Taylor's words were far from an empty threat. She glanced around the living room looking for some form of distraction as Taylor left the room. Frankly watching the soaps didn't interest her and the idea of drinking was just a little too appealing and the last thing she wanted was to let her mind dwell on just how messed up her life was. She'd already given that more than enough thought for the day, hell she'd given it more than enough thought for a lifetime. There was one other option but she just wasn't sure about it. She looked up toward the second level her eyes focusing on the closed bedroom door where she knew Haley was.

Reaching her decision she stood up and walked determinedly towards the staircase, her attitude to seeing her former friend somewhat different this time around. She no longer went with the air of believing she had all the answers, last time had thrown up far too many unanswered questions from her own life and that didn't even begin to cover what she had felt when she had been confronted with the reality of what had been happening to Haley.

She stood outside the door her hand poised above it ready to knock; it took every ounce of inner strength to rap her knuckles against the hard wood. She wasn't even sure why she was coming up here now. Things were suddenly so much harder now knowing even a morsel of the true horror that had been written so descriptively in Haley's own words. The door slowly opened and Brooke stood looking at her speechless as words and phrases from the journals flashed through her mind….FIRST TIME….RAPED…..FORCED….FISTS….but the scariest word of all was the one that occurred far too regularly for Brooke's personal liking. LOVE….a word that for so many held only positive connotations when written by Haley could never have been construed as a positive word. It seemed so stark and depressing knowing what Haley had been brainwashed into believing was love. Although Brooke herself had a far from happy view of love she knew that she could never regard it as bleakly as Haley did. She rarely admitted it to anyone, not even herself but she still held hope that one day love would find her and it would be the most beautiful experience of her life.

Haley looked at Brooke unsurprised to see her outside her door she had heard Brooke and Taylor talking rather heatedly downstairs earlier. She had known that sooner or later the other woman would venture upstairs to see her but just because it didn't surprise her that didn't mean that she had to be happy about it. She knew deep down that if Taylor had read the journals it was highly likely that Brooke had also and now she was here standing in front of her.

"Let me guess," she said tiredly, "you're here to help. Well don't bother I don't need it, especially the kind of help that you and my sister have to offer. Unless the two of you have been boning up on amateur Psychology on the net, so tell me Brooke what have you and Doctor James come up with. This should be good."

Brooke stood there silently unprepared for the attack and Haley took this as the sign that she needed. Without another word she closed the door in Brooke's face but Brooke was not going to be so easily turned away. Pushing the door open she stepped into the room not in the least surprised to see the room in darkness. There were dishes piled beside the bed, half eaten food still remained on most and the smell was almost unbearable and yet Haley seemed unaware of it. Brooke moved to the stack of dirty dishes picking them up and moving them to the door in preparation to take them back downstairs with her when she went. Turning back to her she began to speak.

"Haley I just wanted to check in on you. I know that things have been hard lately…."

Those words seemed to affect Haley and she whirled back around to face Brooke.

"Get over yourself Brooke, you don't know anything. My husband is in jail, I'm stuck here in this house with Taylor. You know nothing of how my life is so why don't you just shut up now."

"Haley I just wanted to…"

"You wanted to what Brooke, give me therapy. Well let's see Brooke Davis therapy, what would that entail? Oh I know going shopping with Daddy's credit cards or no I know, going out and getting drunk and sleeping with some random man. Well that may work for you Brooke but I'm a married woman and the last thing I want to do is go shopping. But I could do with some liquor so why don't you take yourself downstairs and raid Taylor's stash, Lord knows there's probably more than enough there for me to drink myself into a coma. Well," she said turning to face her, hands on hips, "what are you waiting for?"

"Fine Haley you don't want to talk right now, but I can tell you that sooner or later you and I will be having this conversation so you better get used to the idea and fast."

"I can hardly wait," Haley replied sarcastically, looking at Brooke as she continued to stand there. "That would be your cue to go," she said rudely. "You'll probably want to get out of here before Lucas pays a visit. You know he tends to come around here a lot. I guess he just can't stay away from Taylor and what she gives him," she said archly the words designed to inflict pain.

Brooke flinched inwardly but outwardly remained calm. "You're not going to distract me that easily Haley. Like I said get used to the idea that you and I are going to talk and accept the fact that it's going to be soon."

"Whatever," Haley said giving the impression of disinterest. "Can you get out of my room now?"

Brooke paused only long enough to pick up the stack of dishes before going downstairs to the kitchen leaving Haley to her misery. It seemed to be her favourite thing lately anyway.

Going into the kitchen she began to load the dishes into the dishwasher not stopping as she heard Taylor enter the kitchen a few minutes later.

Taylor gasped before pointing an accusing finger at the plates in Brooke's hands. "Where did you get those from?"

"Where do you think I got them," Brooke responded not in the mood for Taylor histrionics.

"You saw her?" Taylor asked her voice several octaves lower than the almost squealed question of moments before. "How was she?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Brooke said tiredly.

"No I guess not," Taylor said shrugging dejectedly each of the women pausing to listen to the sound of the car pulling into the drive.

Brooke felt her stomach drop down into her shoes and found herself holding her breath waiting for the entrance of Lucas and his son.

She heard the sound of the door opening and wondered for a moment if she could go out the back as they entered through the front. She didn't want to do this, the one thing she had always promised herself she would never do, watch Lucas, Taylor and their son interacting as a family.

Lucas' deep voice carried through to the kitchen. "Hey we're back, anyone home?"

"In here," Taylor called back as her gaze rested on Brooke studying the look of abject horror on her face.

"Mommy, mommy," the shrill voice of the excited child could clearly be heard followed by the sound of his feet pounding into the room closely followed by Lucas.

"Hey," he greeted Taylor easily leaning in to give her a light kiss on the cheek before turning to Brooke, his greeting to her slightly more stilted and formal.

"Hi Brooke, how are you?" he said almost as if greeting an acquaintance. She merely pasted a smile onto her face and nodded in answer, she didn't think she could speak if her life depended on it at that moment.

She looked down to see Zach regarding her curiously clearly unsure of who this strange woman was. He was fairly sure that this was not his Aunt Haley that his mom had told him was staying with them although he had hardly even seen her. This was someone different and he didn't know what to think of her.

"Who are you?" he asked boldly, his confidence inherited from his mother probably in the womb. Taylor sometimes worried about him; his ease with strangers from the time he was born had often given her cause for concern.

Brooke didn't know how to answer him. "I'm the woman who should be your mother," she couldn't help but think, but she would never say that to the child. He was the one innocent in this whole messed up situation. She decided it would be best to keep it as simple as possible.

"My name is Brooke I used to know your mommy and daddy."

She thought she saw Lucas flinch at her words but didn't dare look up at him. Zach continued to regard her with curiosity before apparently deciding that she must be ok. He smiled disarmingly showing off a small gap between his two front teeth. Brooke gasped that smile was an exact replica of his father's. Her mind flashed to images of the way Lucas used to smile at her when she walked into a room but she quickly pushed them aside. She didn't want to think about that now.

The little boy pushed his hand into Brooke's shaking it heartily. "I'm Zach," he said proudly, "Daddy taught me to always shake hands when I meet someone new. That's what grown up boys like daddy do."

Brooke looked down at her hand in shock seeing the remnants of something sticky adhered to her fingers. Taylor saw the look and immediately moved into action.

"Come on little guy I need to get you to bed. Let's go upstairs and have a quick wash."

"No bath tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"No bath," Taylor readily agreed "and only one story. Mommy, Daddy and Brooke have a lot to talk about."

"Ok," Zach said agreeing easily before running to where Lucas stood. "Daddy will you come tuck me in too?"

"After you've had your wash and you're in bed I'll come up and say goodnight," he promised.

"But you and mommy always do it together," he protested the faintest sound of a whine coming into his voice.

"Not tonight Buddy," Lucas said "now you go up with mommy like a good boy and I'll be up soon."

Zach appeared as if he was going to argue but Taylor was ready for him. "Come on Zach let's see if you can race me to the bathroom."

The argument was forgotten as Zach took off excitedly towards the stairs. Lucas smiled gratefully at Taylor as she left the room. "I'll be back in about ten minutes. I'm sure you two have things to talk about."

Left alone the two of them regarded each other quietly memories of the last time they had been alone together still vivid in their minds.

"So do you want a drink or something?" Lucas asked.

"No, I'm fine," Brooke said quickly the words almost tripping over themselves on her tongue.

"So," Lucas said clearly hunting for something to talk about, "are you staying at your parents house?"

"No I'm actually at the motel down by the Mall."

"Oh right yeah I've heard that's supposed to be good."

"For God's sake Lucas if you have something to say just say it. Quit with all the small talk you're driving me nuts."

"Fine," Lucas said opening his mouth ready to speak.

"But before you do I want to make one thing very clear. I'm here for Haley and that's it. I haven't come here to talk about our past so don't waste your breath bringing that up."

"Brooke it's been five years, don't you think it's time we talked about it and maybe put it behind us."

"Put it behind us. Oh my God you have got to be kidding. You very nearly destroyed me five years ago Luke and now you expect me to just act as if nothing happened. I've told you what I'm here for so unless you have something to say about that situation I think it might be best if you just keep quiet."

"Brooke look I'm sorry ok. Yes it shouldn't have happened but it did and you know what it brought the most important person in the world into my life and I wouldn't trade my son for anything."

"Of course you wouldn't. He seems like he's a great kid but that doesn't make it any easier for me to be around you all. I don't think you realise just how hard this is on me Luke."

"Brooke I get it, really I do but we can't keep living in the past pondering the 'what ifs'. I mean if that's what you want to do then I guess I can't stop you but that's not the way I choose to live my life. I have a son that I love and I don't want to waste a minute of my time with him. I know what it's like to have a father that is so caught up in what might have been that he becomes so bitter and twisted that he hurts everyone around him and I promised myself that if I ever had a child I would never do that to him. I am not going to become another Dan," he finished forcefully just as Taylor walked back into the kitchen.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she said although just how genuine that sentiment was no one was entirely sure, "but Brooke and I got you over here for a reason. There's something you need to see."

Holding out the book in her hand to Lucas she waited for him to take it. "It's a journal of Haley's that she kept while she was married to Chris, you don't have time to read it now but you don't have to read much to see just what sort of a monster that man was."

As she spoke Lucas had opened the book flicking through the pages his eyes widening as certain words and phrases caught his attention. Taylor waited until eventually he tore his attention away and was once again listening to her.

"I'm not sure if this is something I can do on my own," she said quietly, the admittance of fallibility something she was unaccustomed to. She had always been the independent one, the one who could take on anyone or anything, who had barely batted an eyelid at the idea of single parenthood and now here she was having to admit that this was something she could not do on her own. It was a hard thing to do but she knew it was the right thing in the long run.

"What are you saying Tay?" Lucas asked unsure of how to take this new and vulnerable side that Taylor was presenting.

"I'm saying I can't do this on my own anymore. I can't look after Haley and watch Zach. After reading what I read I'm really scared that she might do something stupid and I can't watch her all the time. I need help."

Lucas straightened up from where he was leaning against the bench heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Taylor asked him in surprise a little miffed that the first time she had ever admitted to needing help in front of him he was literally just walking away from her.

"I'm going to go get some things and close my place up. I think it's probably for the best if I move in here for a while."

Brooke had remained quiet throughout their whole talk but his last words spurned her into action.

"No," she said quickly "you shouldn't do that."

Two faces turned to regard her quizzically clearly wondering what sort of reason she could have for vetoing the only idea that seemed to make any real sense at the moment.

"You've seen what she's like, Taylor you've read the journals and Lucas you've had a quick look. Do you really think that someone who has been through an ordeal like that is going to feel comfortable having a man in the house?"

"But," Lucas said beginning to protest.

Taylor spoke over him though. "No Luke I think she may be right."

Turning back to Brooke she asked "So what do you suggest we do?"

"I'm going to move in."


	11. Brothers In Arms

**A.N Well finally after such a long delay I can give you a new chapter...I hope that its worth the wait and I can tell you that I have began the next chapter and am hoping to have it up much sooner than this one...So review and tell me what you think and I'll do my best to get up a new chapter in the near future...**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**Brothers In Arms**

"I'm moving in, well at least temporarily anyway," Brooke's words echoed in Lucas' mind.

That had come as a surprise to say the very least. Taylor's face as she had digested the words had been one of pure horror but she hadn't argued the way Lucas had expected her to. Instead her face had changed to one of resignation as she obviously accepted the truth behind Brooke's words. After all Taylor herself had been the one who had said that she could no longer do this alone and as much as he hated to admit it Brooke had been right when she pointed out that there was no way that Haley would cope with a male presence in the house at the moment.

It had upset him to hear the two women so vehement in their decision that he should not move in. He was after all Haley's best friend in the world or at least he had been. Surely if anyone could help her then it was him but the more he thought about it the more he realised that everything they said was the truth.

So now for the second time since he had first heard the news of Haley's return he found himself making the drive to Fitzgerald St once again confronted with the unenviable task of confronting Nathan with news about Haley.

He had tried several times to call Nathan since that day at his house to get him to talk about the contents of those envelopes that Zach had found but had been unsuccessful. Nathan it seemed had not wanted to talk period. He could only hope that he would fare better confronting him face to face and would be able to get him to listen and maybe talk to him a bit. Lucas had seen Nathan far too many times in the past deal with his problems by cutting himself from everyone and he knew the damage that could be done. It was time for them to talk and Lucas didn't care what he had to do to achieve this goal.

He didn't hesitate with indecision this time when he pulled into the driveway of that house on Fitzgerald St. He got out of the car walking determinedly to the front door and pounding impatiently on the wood. Barely allowing time for a response he began to yell for him determined not to be ignored. The door opened and Nathan stood there more than a hint of irritation marring his features.

"What do you want Lucas?" he asked quietly.

"I need to talk to you," Lucas said without preamble, "I was just at Taylor's and I found out some things that I really think you need to know."

"Oh shit Luke do we really have to do this now, I really don't want to hear it."

"Well you know what Nathan I don't give a shit what you want or don't want to hear this is important and you are damn well going to listen to me."

Nathan sighed resignedly, he knew what Lucas was like in this mood and he knew that he was not going to be able to get rid of him easily. He stood back allowing Lucas to walk in ahead of him.

"Let me guess you want me to sit down," Nathan said sarcastically.

"Look Nate I really don't need the attitude but yeah you probably should sit down."

Nathan considered arguing; wanting to procrastinate as long as possible but knew that it would be a waste of breath whatever it was Lucas wanted to say he was going to say it and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He sat down and looked at him waiting for him to begin.

"Well lay it on me," he said with a grimace quelling the urge to put his hands over his ears.

"Taylor showed me something today," he said pausing to search for the right words to tell him what he had heard and read.

"Are you sure I need to know this," he said trying to lighten the moment.

"I saw a journal today that Haley wrote while she was married to Chris, it was pretty graphic."

"Yeah well I doubt it could have been much worse than that picture I saw," Nathan said.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Wait here," Nathan said standing up and walking to the TV cabinet, he rummaged behind some DVD's before pulling out an envelope. Opening it up he pulled the photo and letter out holding them out to Lucas.

"Here knock yourself out," he said waiting for Lucas to take them before gesturing to the couch.

"But take it from someone who knows you might want to sit down."

Lucas looked down at the photo that had so obviously been torn up before being painstakingly put back together. Even the transparent tape holding together the tears did not detract from the horror depicted in front of him. He held the photo in his hands a moment more and physically blanched before turning his attention to the letter. He scanned it quickly before slowly reading it once more. After finishing it he leaned back bringing his hands up behind his head and exhaling loudly.

"Wow," he said lost for anything else to say.

Five minutes went by before he spoke again. "You never told me this. I never knew she came back. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know man, there was so much going on and after she left I just wanted to try and forget about it. I just couldn't talk about it Luke, besides you wouldn't have understood. The rest of you had no idea what it was like for me, having her just leave like that."

"Oh for fucks sake Nathan when are you going to get it through your head, you're not the only one who loves her. I love her too, she's my best friend and it hurt me like hell when she walked away. Don't you think it tears me up inside knowing that I wasn't there for her when she needed me?"

"That is so not the point Luke. You just don't get it she came back to me and I turned her away. I sent her away. Do you have any idea what it's like for me now, living with the knowledge of what I did? If I hadn't sent her away that night do you think she would have ended up married to that scumbag?" Without waiting for an answer he continued, "Of course she wouldn't. This is my fault Lucas."

"Nathan stop it, you didn't know what was going to happen. You couldn't."

"What is that supposed to make it ok? You don't even know the worst bit. Do you know that she tried to call me one night? I came home one night and there was a message from her on my answering machine. I heard how upset she was and I ignored it, I deleted it from the machine and I deleted it from my mind but it didn't matter how hard I tried I couldn't delete her from my heart. But you know what I made it through all those nights when I wanted nothing more than to have her back in my arms and I moved on. For the longest time Lucas my life was a living hell. I would see her up on the stage and it really seemed as if all her dreams had come true and it killed me knowing that leaving me behind seemed to be the thing that finally allowed her to be all that she wanted to be."

Lucas looked at his brother in shock, for so long the two of them had avoided the topic of Nathan's ex wife and now it seemed as if nothing could stop the torrent of words flowing from Nathan's mouth. Lucas had tried so many times after Haley had first left to get Nathan to talk to him and he never would. All this time he had kept every thought and every emotion about her bottled up inside and now that floodgate had been broken and there was no holding back anymore.

"I did this to her Luke, me, no-one else. I sentenced her to a life in hell and at the same time I signed my own death warrant. At least that's how it felt. The day I turned her away it felt like something died in me Luke. For the longest time I didn't know what that something was but I do now. I know that it was my hope, my belief in love and everything that it could bring me. I don't know if I can ever get that back Luke. It's just gone."

His voice broke and Lucas looked up in stunned silence as Nathan sat with his head buried in his hands. Lucas could see his shoulders shaking silently with suppressed emotion and was for a moment at a loss. He was so used to dealing with Nathan the big tough man; he didn't know what to do when he saw him like this. Tentatively he walked towards him placing a hand on his shoulder and speaking quietly.

"Nathan you can't blame yourself for this. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen." Despite his reassurances to his brother though Lucas was now questioning his own culpability. Shouldn't he as Haley's best friend have made more of an attempt to stay in touch to make sure everything was as it should be? Instead he had taken the easy way out used excuse after excuse to cut her out of his life. He had told himself that he was being loyal to his brother when in reality it had been nothing more than his own fear that Haley would reject him the way she had rejected so many others from her life in Tree Hill. He had seen the way Brooke was after she returned from New York after her one brief visit to Haley and he had heard from Taylor how she had not wanted to see her when she had gone to tell her the news of her pregnancy. So he had taken the cowards way out and allowed Haley to disappear from his life. Now he had to live with his own conscience and the regrets he faced on a daily basis.

As selfish as it might sound though it irked him that Nathan seemed to be the one that everyone had sympathised with when Haley left. While they had all rallied around Nathan trying to ensure that he didn't disappear into a quagmire of self pity no one had spared a thought for the best friend that Haley had left behind. No one had stopped to think about just how much he too had been hurting because as usual it was all about Nathan. He had spent the majority of his life paling into insignificance in comparison to Nathan and while he could understand to a certain extent why people had been so worried about Nathan when Haley left he couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't given him even the slightest amount of compassion for what he too was going through.

Looking at his brother hunched over in front of him though he was struck by only one thought. In all the time that Lucas had known him and in the short time that they had actually been close this was the first time he'd ever seen him cry. Even in his darkest days after Haley had left he'd never let his guard down like this at least not in front of anyone and now here he was sobbing uncontrollably.

Feeling at a loss he moved towards him reaching out an arm to put it around him shoulders in a consoling fashion. Nathan stiffened for a moment before accepting his brother's comfort.

"How could I let this happen to her," he said and that was all it took for Lucas' own tears to form.

"It's not your fault," he tried to tell him "we both let her down. It wasn't only you."

"I turned her away Luke and look what happened. If I'd only done what I wanted to and taken her back none of this would have happened."

Lucas gripped onto him tighter. "You had no way of knowing Nathan. You can't blame yourself."

"Well if I don't blame myself who do I blame Luke? No one else was there that night. No one else told her that there was nothing left for her in this town and she should go back where she came from."

"You should blame the same person that we all do Nathan. Blame Chris; hate on him all you want. He's the asshole; he's the one who did this to her, not me and sure as hell not you."

"Of course I blame him Luke, there isn't a day that goes by lately when I don't think about wrapping my hands around his scrawny little neck but the truth is he never could have done this if I didn't push her back to him. I fucking handed her to him on a silver platter and that is something I can't escape from no matter what I do."

"Nate I need you to come with me to Taylor's. We're going to find some way to help her but we need you to come too. She needs you Nate."

Nathan looked at him in shock. "I can't do that Luke. She doesn't want to see me and I can't even look at her at the moment without wanting to smash something."

"Nate I know this is hard on you. Hell it's hard on all of us. Do you think it doesn't kill me seeing the way Brooke looks at me as if I'm something she scraped off the bottom of her shoe? But I'm dealing with it Nate because at the moment nothing matters more than helping Haley anyway I can."

Nathan pushed back from Lucas going to stand on the other side of the room his gaze dropping to the floor.

"I didn't know Brooke was back," he said quietly.

"Yeah well she is and she sure as hell isn't happy about it and you can imagine the way Taylor feels about having her here but we're all putting that stuff aside the best we can because Haley is what matters here and only Haley. It wasn't that long ago Nate that you were the most important person in the world to her surely if anyone can help her than it has to be you. She barely speaks to any of us Nate but Taylor told me what happened after you saw her the other day and it seems no matter what happened in the past you can still reach her the way none of the rest of us can. You have to help us Nate."

Nathan looked up at him considering his words.

"But what if I can't help Luke, what if me being there only makes it worse?"

"We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it but you've seen her Nate do you really think things can get any worse?"

"I don't know but I'm not sure I'm prepared to take that chance."

"You have to Nate not only for her but for you too. Can you really tell me that a day has gone by since she left where you haven't lain awake thinking about her and dwelling on all the 'what ifs'? This is your chance to lay all those demons to rest and in the process help her too. Can you really turn your back on that?"

Nathan stared at him a million thoughts chasing across his mind but one thing was clear. What Lucas had said was the truth and it was time to confront his demons. It was the only hope he had of ever being able to lead a normal life again. Maybe helping Haley would be his salvation. He didn't know but it was time to find out.

Shrugging his shoulders he sighed. "I'll come," he said simply before turning away to grab his keys. Turning back to Luke he saw him still standing there in the exact same position. "Well what are we waiting for?" he asked walking towards the front door not bothering to turn back again to see if Lucas was following.

Lucas walked behind him hoping like hell that he had done the right thing. Bringing Nathan into this was a dangerous move and he could only hope he wasn't about to make things a hell of a lot worse.

They drove in near silence only the radio in the background breaking the overwhelming silence that existed between the brothers, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

As they turned onto the street where Taylor's house was Nathan inhaled sharply hardly able to believe what he was about to do. God only knew what lay in store for him inside that house and he could only hope that whatever it was he had the strength to deal with it.

Pulling up outside the house Lucas looked over at Nathan. "Are you ready for this?"

Nathan didn't look at him as he spoke. "As ready as I'll ever be," he said quietly but firmly.

Stepping up to the door Lucas raised his hand to ring the bell then paused as he heard the anguished voices from inside. Taylor was speaking loudly but incoherently, he could hear Zach crying loudly and Brooke yelling Haley's name. Looking at Nathan he opened the door running inside to the kitchen where he was confronted with what appeared to be pure chaos.

Haley was slumped on the floor crying, great wracking sobs shaking her thin frame. Brooke was holding onto her shoulder begging her to tell her what was wrong and Taylor was trying desperately to console her son, looking worriedly in Haley's direction.

Lucas moved into action immediately as Nathan hung back observing the scene in front of him trying to take it all in and make sense of it. The phone lay on the floor beside Haley off the hook, a chair tipped on its side beside her.

Squatting beside Taylor and his son he grasped Taylor's arm bringing her eyes to him. Relief flooded her face as she saw Luke. "Oh God Luke thank God you're here."

He picked Zach up off the floor trying his best to comfort the distraught child. "Hey buddy what's going on? What are all these tears for?"

Zach's arms wound tightly around his neck as he buried his face in his fathers shoulder. "Aunty Haley is crying Daddy and she broke the chair and Mommy and Brooke are scared," he said stating the simple truth as only a child can.

"It's ok buddy. I'll sort it out. Now why don't you get Mommy to take you upstairs and maybe read you a story huh? Wouldn't that be good?"

Zach nodded his tearstained face showing such relief at the idea of getting away from everything that was going on in his house.

"Luke I can't," Taylor said, "I have to…."

Lucas interrupted her. "Taylor you need to get him away from this. Once you've got him calmed down you can come back down but right now he needs you. I'll deal with this," he said doubtfully looking at the scene in front of him as he wondered what exactly it was he was about to deal with.

Taylor looked at her child in Lucas' arms and nodded. "Ok but if she needs me…."

"I'll get you straight away Tay. Don't worry I'm going to take care of this." Looking back at Nathan who still stood there staring at Haley on the floor he spoke again. "We'll deal with this."

Taylor looked over for the first time noticing the younger Scott man's presence in her home. "Lucas are you sure about this? She's really upset at the moment. Maybe this isn't the best time."

"This is exactly the right time Taylor now please just take Zach upstairs," he said passing the child to her. He leaned in for a moment kissing his son tenderly on the forehead. "It's all going to be ok buddy, I promise."

Zach looked at his father for a moment before nodding his faith in his father's ability to right all wrongs unshakeable. Taylor walked past him heading towards the stairs but not before stopping once more to look at her sister crumpled on the floor her sobs now the only sound in the room. "Haley I'll be right upstairs if you need me," she said uncertainty playing on her face as she wondered once again if she should be leaving her. The feel of Zach's arms tightening around her neck though was enough to push her into action and she once again walked towards the stairs.

Lucas looked again at Nathan wondering if he was ever going to move from his spot where he seemed to be frozen in place and for the first time since he had entered uncertainty shot through his body. Seeing Zach crying the way he was his paternal instincts had come to the fore and his first priority had been his child but now he wasn't sure what to do. Making a decision he walked to Brooke pulling her up to stand in front of him.

"Brooke you need to tell me what's going on here." But she appeared deaf to his words as her gaze remained steadfastly on Haley. "Brooke please you have to talk to me. What the hell happened?"

Finally she turned to look at him surprise registering on her face as she saw him. "I uh, I…." She paused once again looking to Haley.

"Brooke," Lucas said more forcefully shaking her arm trying to make her focus on him, "You need to tell me now." But still she could not formulate the words and looking at Haley's form on the floor Lucas found himself growing more desperate. He needed to do something now but he couldn't even begin to guess where to start if Brooke wouldn't tell him what the problem was. She was obviously in shock and he needed to break her out of it right now if he was going to help Haley. He shook her arm once more and when she still didn't answer he raised his hand bringing it to her face in a stinging slap. The sound of Haley's screams pierced the room as she saw Lucas shaking Brooke's arm. Lucas looked at her in shock feeling physically ill at the look of fear present in her eyes as she stared at him.

"No Hales, I wouldn't hurt Brooke, please don't tell me that you think I'm capable of that," he took a step towards her hoping to reassure her but Haley's screams only became louder.

"No," she sobbed "don't hurt me, please don't hurt me."

Looking at Haley he was unprepared for the fist that connected with his nose and he fell back in shock.

"Don't you ever hit me again," Brooke said firmly.

Lucas stopped unable to comprehend what was going on here. Haley actually believed him capable of hurting a woman and Brooke well she hadn't exactly helped matters surely she must have known that he was only trying to bring her out of the state she was in but all she had succeeded in doing was reinforcing Haley's belief that he was as capable of beating a woman as the next man. He needed to know more than ever what had occurred to upset Haley so badly before he and Nathan had arrived.

Turning to Brooke he spoke calmly but with an edge of steel to his voice. "Brooke I'm sorry for hitting you I was not trying to hurt you but you were in shock and I needed to get you out of it somehow. You know as well as I do that we're here to help Haley and I can't very well do that if you don't tell me what's wrong now can I. So are you going to tell me now or should I just guess."

"I don't know," she finally said brokenly. "There was a phone call for her. I think the man said he was from the sheriff's office and next thing I knew she was screaming. She dropped the phone and just sort of collapsed and she's been like this ever since."

Haley continued to cry, her sobs filling the room with their anguish and suddenly Nathan moved. Walking to her he picked her up from the floor, cradling her broken body against his chest for a moment before he walked quickly to the stairs taking her to her room. Haley it seemed didn't even register what was happening and Nathan felt an ache deep within his chest as her sobs continued unabated. Reaching her room he placed her on the bed noticing once again how fragile she now seemed. She'd always been small but seeing her now she no longer seemed to have that spirit within her that had always made her so alive. He stood there watching her, waiting for those god awful sobs to abate, not stopping to consider the driving need inside of him that had compelled him still to try and protect her from the world. All he could think about was the girl that he had married so long ago and wonder if he would ever see her again. Because no matter what anyone told him this was not the woman that she had once been. Something inside of her had broken and he wasn't sure that it could ever be repaired.

_Meanwhile_

Not so far away sat a man dressed in standard prison issue regarding the man who sat opposite him.

"So she's been called? She knows that they are going to try to take me to court, to throw me in jail?

The man opposite him nodded. "Yes Mr Keller she knows."

"So now I guess all we have to do is wait," Chris said confidently. "I know my wife and I know there is no way that she will let them do this. She knows that all I ever wanted was to make her happy. You're the lawyer tell me how is it a crime to love my wife and want to have a family with her. How can that possibly be a crime?"

The lawyer looked at him mentally licking his lips at the prospect of the case before him. This was his O.J Simpson, his Michael Jackson case. Sure Chris Keller hadn't exactly been doing so well lately in the music business but with the publicity sure to be surrounding the trial there was no doubt that they would all be thrust into the limelight once again and Chris Keller would be given his shot at a comeback. After all no matter what Chris had done lately he was the husband of Haley James and the woman was Pop Royalty. Hell the woman was right up there with Mariah Carey, she was the crème de la crème of the music industry at the moment and the press were just going to eat this up.

He was sure he could come up with some great little story about how badly she treated her poor husband. Ridiculing him about his failure to go anywhere with his career while she herself became the most popular artist of the noughties. How her constant barbs and criticisms just kept building up until one day the poor man had just snapped. Oh he could see it now. Barbara Walters would want to interview him and he would tell her the story of how he saved the poor innocent man from going to jail. This case was going to make his career. After this he would be able to pick and choose his clients. Only the best would want him. Not to mention the fact that he knew he was going to be a very rich man. Chris Keller had already promised him any amount of money to get him out of this place and for the numbers he was talking he was happy to oblige. Unfortunately though the judge hadn't seen it that way and had insisted on keeping him remanded into custody, though he probably shouldn't have expected any different from the woman. Only a woman could possibly keep a man locked up on such a flimsy excuse for a case before anyone had actually proved anything in court. He didn't care that the vast majority of the law fraternity referred to Judge Maggie Douglas as Brass Balls. When he thought of all of his colleagues who cowered to her he shuddered. God she was just like any woman always letting sentiment get in the way of the facts but for some reason he seemed to be the only one who realised that. Just goes to show that women should never have been allowed into the workforce and to add to the indignity his office had insisted on saddling him with some bimbo in a short skirt as his assistant in this case. Thank God he had managed to get down here today without her knowledge she was already making herself a royal pain in his ass, asking stupid questions about the guilt of Mr Keller. Who the hell cared if he was guilty or not? The sooner the bitch understood that, the better off they would all be. Turning back to his client Jeremy Brody smiled smugly.

"Don't you worry about a thing Mr Keller; we're going to have you out of here before you know it."

Chris sat back in his chair clearly pleased with the response he had received. "That's just what I needed to hear. I'll get out of this hell hole and Haley and I will put this all behind us. Did I tell you what I'm going to name our first son?


	12. Secrets Of The Dark

**A.N Ok so having a week off work clearly agrees with me...I actually managed to update both my stories in a week...I have to give a huge shout out to Hilary for this chapter...She's been a huge help...Hope you enjoy this chapter...Author's note is going to be short and sweet tonight since its now 2am and I have work in the morning...**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**Secrets Of The Dark**

Nathan sat watching Haley, too scared to leave the room even though she had long since cried herself to sleep. Knowing everything that she had gone through he was sure it was hardly the first time that she had cried herself to sleep but he still couldn't bring himself to leave her. He settled more comfortably in the chair, he still didn't know what had happened earlier to upset her so much and had not seen Taylor, Lucas or Brooke to find out but it didn't matter at the moment. All that mattered was that she had finally fallen asleep and for the most part seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

Despite his urge to stay with her he still didn't really know what he was doing there. She hadn't seemed to be aware of him at all as he had carried her up the stairs and had only once appeared to register his presence. She had been laying on her bed sobbing so brokenly her back to him then had turned towards him as if suddenly realising she wasn't alone. She had stared at him her face showing no surprise to see him there instead she looked at him as if she didn't even know who he was. Then she had spoken, the only words she had uttered in the two hours he had been there with her.

"Nathan, get out."

"Haley, I…." but he hadn't finished his sentence not even sure what he would have said as she turned away once again.

He hadn't left though and had instead sat there in silence watching over her trying to connect this sobbing broken woman with the happy, fun loving teenager he had known as his wife. He was so confused, less than two weeks ago he had been sure that he would never see her again and he had made his peace with that and now here she was a broken shell of a woman who barely acknowledged his existence. He wanted to help her but didn't know if that was for his own peace of mind or out of a genuine need to try to make her once again what she had been. But what would happen if and when he accomplished that. Would she simply leave again or would she stay here in Tree Hill a presence in his life once again. He didn't even know if he wanted that, he didn't know what he wanted. The only thing he knew was that it hurt to see her like this knowing what she had once been and knowing that in his own way he was responsible for it.

He heard noises in the hall once or twice hushed voices and hesitant footsteps but he didn't go to reassure the worried trio that he knew waited to hear that she was ok. He was almost surprised that Taylor had not burst in here demanding answers or insisting on taking over from him. The older James sister had never exactly been known for her subtlety even in the most delicate of situations and yet even she seemed to realise the need to stay away at the moment.

He must have drifted off eventually although he was not aware of it happening. He had slid into the blessed relief that dreaming gave him. All of the realities of the situation ceased to exist as his subconscious took over.

_Haley stood before him smiling up at him. He reached out a hand to stroke her face and she pressed herself into his touch. His other hand came around to cup her head as he leaned in to kiss her but she laughed up at him. "No Nathan, not yet," she said happily. "You need to come with me."_

_She took him by the hand and started pulling him along. He noticed for the first time his surroundings and started in surprise. They were in their old apartment and she was pulling him down the hall towards their bedroom. As they passed through the living room he looked up and saw the pink paint marring the wall, the picture of the grotesque clown staring back at him._

_He tried to stop for a moment wanting to explain to her why he had done such a thing but she simply smiled tugging on his hand. He allowed himself to be pulled along wondering what she had planned. They entered the bedroom and she pushed him back to the bed making him sit on the edge as she stood in front of him._

"_Why don't you want me anymore Nathan," she asked and for the first time the smile disappeared from her face. "Is it because I'm dirty?"_

_He stared at her not knowing what to say. He wanted to tell her that that wasn't true, that he would always want her but the words wouldn't form._

"_I killed it didn't I Nathan? I killed whatever it was we had when I left you. I killed your love."_

_He tried once again to speak but it was as if his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth. He tried to reach out to her but his hands remained by his sides. She walked to him leaning down and placing her hands on his shoulders._

"_I'm sorry Nathan I never did stop loving you."_

_She straightened up again the smile back in place on her lips and turned walking away. He tried to stand to follow her but nothing happened. She continued walking as he finally found his voice and called after her._

"_Haley stop, I need to talk to you. Haley please." But she continued walking and it was only as she finally disappeared from the room that his legs finally seemed to regain feeling. He leapt from the bed breaking into a run as he entered the by now empty hallway._

"_Haley," he yelled. "Haley where are you?"_

_There was no response as he went from room to room throwing the doors open a fever overtaking his body as he found them empty. Standing in the middle of the hallway he turned around slowly spinning in a circle looking for anywhere else she could be. He could hear the sound of her sobbing but it seemed to be all around him and he couldn't tell where it was coming from._

_Seeing the bedroom door that he had just exited from once again closed he stepped towards it suddenly certain that that was where the sounds of her sobs were emanating from._

_He grasped the door handle a feeling of dread gripping his gut. Slowly he pulled the door towards him unprepared for what lay on the other side. He stepped through and found himself at the docks, the table that they had gone to the first time she had ever tutored him in front of him. He looked up and saw her sitting there slumped forward her head buried in her arms and felt a surge of relief course through him._

_His feet felt heavy and it seemed to take forever to walk the few metres that would take him to the table. Finally he reached her; he stretched out a hand to touch her sighing in relief as he felt her warm skin. At first she didn't respond and he squeezed her should harder desperate for her to look up at him, desperate to stop those heart wrenching sobs._

"_Haley, what is it? What's wrong?"_

_She raised her head to look at him and he recoiled in shock. There was blood trickling from her nose and one of her eyes was black with bruising. The tears flowing down her face mixed in with the blood diluting the colour so that it appeared pink. He tried to reach out to her again but she flinched away._

"_Haley what happened?"_

_She didn't answer though, instead her gaze fixed at a point over his shoulder and she smiled through her tears. He turned wanting to see what or who it was that gave her such comfort and found his worst nightmare._

_Chris stood there smirking at them both. Nathan's hands clenched into fists at his sides as he felt Haley move to stand beside him. He looked down at her but her attention was fixed solely on the smirking man standing in the distance. She started to walk towards Chris and Nathan grabbed at her arm wanting nothing more than to prevent her from going to him._

_She shook his hand off and continued forward. He moved quickly going to stand in front of her._

"_Haley please stop," she looked at him and the smile faded from her face._

"_Get out of my way Nathan," she said moving to walk around him._

"_No Haley you can't go to him, he'll hurt you."_

_She stopped then smiling at Nathan and for a moment he relaxed certain in the knowledge that she wasn't going anywhere._

"_Chris won't hurt me Nathan, Chris would never hurt me, not like you did."_

_What was she talking about? Surely she knew that he would never do anything to hurt her not like that other monster did._

"_I would never hurt you," he told her desperately._

"_But you did Nathan, you did this to me."_

_He looked back at Chris who still stood there holding his hand out towards Haley._

"_Haley please stop, don't go to him. Don't let him do this to you."_

"_But he loves me Nathan, he loves me so much."_

_Nathan could feel his anger building._

"_This isn't love," he told her pointing at the marks on her face and arms so clearly caused by human hands. "This has nothing to do with love."_

"_But it's the only love I have," she said quietly. "The love I get from my husband."_

_He tried to grab her arm again but she kept slipping away from him getting closer and closer to Chris' waiting arms with every step. He tried once more to stand in front of her, to block her path but every time he moved it seemed she was always three steps ahead of him. He could feel exhaustion setting in but doggedly went on trying to get to her, trying to stop her from going to Chris._

_His feet felt so heavy and no matter what he did he couldn't seem to move any faster. He looked up Haley was now only metres away from Chris, he made one last desperate lunge forward but it made no difference and as he watched she walked up to Chris slipping her hand in his. Chris looked at him lying on the ground and grinned, before turning and walking away taking Haley with him. Nathan got to his feet walking desolately to the place that she had been. He heard something crunch under his foot and looked down. There on the ground was the brightly coloured Cracker Jack bracelet, the same one he had given her at this very place the first time she ever tutored him. He bent down picking up the cheap plastic bracelet twining the elastic around his fingers, sinking to the ground he closed his eyes guilt over letting her go back to Chris once again churning inside him._

_He felt a hand touch his shoulder and opening his eyes he was surprised to find that he was no longer kneeling on the pavement that he had been mere moments before. Instead he now found himself on sand. He looked up and saw the crashing ocean before him and immediately turned his head to the side looking for whoever it was who had touched him but there was no one there._

_He saw a group of people standing off in the distance and was overcome with a sense of de ja vu. They looked so familiar even from where he knelt. Standing up he walked towards them finally recognising where he was. He was at the beach, the exact spot that he and Haley had got married and the people standing there in that little cluster were the exact same ones that had been there on that other day almost six years before._

_He saw Haley's parents and the minister, he could see Haley and strangest of all he stood looking at himself standing right there beside Haley. He walked closer wondering what would happen when they saw him but although he stood right next to Lydia no-one paid him any heed._

_He looked at himself and Haley standing there so obviously full of joy and found himself mesmerised as the two of them said their vows both of them so clearly in love. He wondered what had ever gone wrong with them, how did they ever go from this loving display to what they were today._

_He felt a hand slide into his, their fingers intertwining themselves with his. Without having to look or hearing her say a word he knew who it was._

"_Why are we here?" he asked her. "Actually no before you answer that you might want to tell me how we are here. How can we be here watching this? I mean that is us standing out there getting married isn't it?"_

"_Of course it's us Nathan, that's the beauty of dreams; none of it needs to make any sense."_

_She put her fingers to her lips in a shushing motion and leaned in avidly to hear._

_Someday, this beach might wash away….the oceans may dry…the sun could dim but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley._

"_Always and forever," she repeated softly as she watched the two of them reciting their wedding vows. "Do you remember saying that to me Nathan? Do you remember how it felt?"_

_Nathan nodded silently unable to tear his gaze from the sight before him. She squeezed his hand impatiently._

"_Answer me Nathan; I need to hear you say it."_

"_Of course I remember Haley, how could I not?"_

_She smiled at him again and he smiled back._

"_Now stop talking and watch," she said to him with a laugh._

_He turned his attention back to the ceremony but was conscious only of the small hand inside his own much larger one. As he watched the celebrant uttered the words that sealed every marriage._

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."_

_He watched in wrapt anticipation as he leaned in toward Haley's waiting lips. Haley's hand on his jaw drew his attention away from what was occurring though and he looked down at her. As he did she leaned up pressing her lips against his._

_His breath caught in his throat as she pressed harder against him demanding entry to his mouth. He opened his lips allowing her tongue to come out to meet his as he closed his eyes. He groaned low in his throat and pulled her in closer to his body savouring the feel of her so close to him again. He heard the sound of applause all around them and congratulations as the two of them became linked as husband and wife, but there was another sound hidden beneath the applause that slowly became more audible until eventually it drowned out the ringing of applause in his ears._

_The air around him was once again filled with her sobs, and he opened his eyes in confusion finding her gone from his arms. He looked around for her but she was gone. He looked towards where the wedding had been progressing only moments before but found himself confronted with only a strip mall like so many others built right there on the beach, destroying the pristine sand that had once been there, all of the flowers and grass that had been nearby gone. He shook his head in confusion. What had happened? The sobs grew louder and louder and looking up at the sky he screamed out the only word on his mind._

"_Haley….."_

He opened his eyes abruptly finding himself just where he had been before all the madness had begun, Haley still sleeping peacefully in the bed. The only sounds filling the room his laboured breathing and her quiet sighs. He sat up drenched in sweat and looked at his watch; barely an hour had passed since he had last looked.

He noticed his hands shaking violently in his lap and desperately tried to still them. The dream if that was what it was had been so vivid, he had truly felt as if he was there, standing in the apartment, watching her at the docs, even a guest at their own wedding. He knew that logically it didn't make any sense but every moment of it had felt so real.

People supposedly believed that dreams had some sort of meaning but what possible meaning could a dream such as this have apart from the very real possibility that he was losing his mind.

It was almost as if he could still taste her lips on his and frustrated he ran a hand through his hair. There was no doubt that he was taking complete leave of his senses because for one brief moment he had allowed himself to consider the possibility that perhaps she had kissed him while he was sleeping. But that was just ridiculous; he knew that even if he had a hard time admitting just how much of an impossibility such an act was between them at this point in time.

There was so much that had happened in the last five years. Although he had protested to everyone that he had accepted Haley's disappearance from his life with ease it had been far from the truth. For the first three years after she had left he had followed her career avidly, reading everything he could lay his hands on never missing a TV performance. Always searching for some sign that perhaps there was some hope for them but nothing ever gave him the sign that he craved and slowly he stopped looking.

He could still remember when her first song became a hit. He had listened to the lyrics certain that they were written about the two of them. He had been so close to driving straight to New York City that night right up until the moment he had listened to the interview she gave after performing the song live for the first time. Hearing her say that the lyrics were about her fiancé Chris had hurt him so much.

That was the first he had heard of her impending marriage and hearing her laugh and joke with the presenter as they gushed over her relationship with Chris he had felt physically ill.

The words of her song 'Halo' seemed to fit their relationship so well and now to hear her say that she had wrote it for the other man was almost more than he could take. He had allowed himself to hope that perhaps this was her apology to him and then she had dashed his hopes so cruelly.

Listening to her sing about how she hadn't promised him a ray of light or that there would be sunshine everyday. It was as if she were singing those words especially to him. He knew that he had put her up on a pedestal during their time together unable to believe that she could ever do anything wrong and that it had been an unfair expectation. What he hadn't understood then was that he had been putting too much pressure on her. These words seemed meant for him and yet she had claimed to have written them for Chris, the man she was now going to marry. Their annulment had barely been finalised and she was already planning a life with another man.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a noise, at first he was unsure where it had come from until she spoke.

"They've set a court date. They want me to testify against him."

He paused unsure what he could or should say in response. He was so shocked that she was speaking to him but more than anything he was terrified, terrified that one wrong word could cause her to shut down on him again. He wasn't even certain that she knew who she was speaking to maybe in the dark she had mistook the shape of him for Taylor or Brooke.

"Why are you still here Nathan?" she asked then and any illusions he had held that perhaps she was unaware of his identity were shattered.

"I uh, I guess I didn't want to leave you alone while you were so upset."

"Why," she pressed him, "do you really think it's the first time I've been alone in the dark with only my nightmares for company?"

"Well no," he said then stopped not knowing what else to say. "But that doesn't mean that you should have to be. We want to help you Haley, I want to help you."

She laughed then a harsh guttural sound and he winced at the misplaced humour in the sound.

"How exactly do you think you're going to do that Nathan, how do any of you expect to be able to help me? Who says I even want your help?" The last part was spoken so softly that Nathan had to strain to hear the words. "Maybe I'm beyond help."

"Don't say that," he said quietly but with certainty. "Don't ever let yourself think that way Haley. You're so much stronger than you know."

"Huh who are you trying to kid Nathan, I'm not strong I never have been."

"Oh really so who was that girl who stood up to my parents when no one else would? You never let them intimidate you Haley? When my mom bitched you out for marrying me you never once backed down, when my dad did everything he could to try and sabotage us you didn't let him. How could you think that you have no strength? You're one of the strongest people I know."

"But that's just it Nathan you don't know me, not anymore. I'm not the person you remember. I'm not that naïve little girl that believed that marrying you was the answer to her prayers. Even back then Nathan I had no strength, no courage. Do you have any idea how many nights I spent on that first tour just trying to work up the courage to call you, but I never did, not until much later and by then it was too late."

Nathan felt his heart clench at those words, knowing that she was referring to that one night barely a year after he had sent her away that she had called him and left that message begging him to call her back, the message that he had deleted but been unable to forget. He had hardened his heart against the urge to call her back telling himself that she had a new husband now, that whatever crisis she was going through, she should just get help from him. Little had he known that her husband was the crisis, he was exactly what was wrong with her life.

He almost didn't hear her when she spoke again, so consumed in his own thoughts that her softly words almost didn't register.

"You should hate me Nathan, why would you want to help me after everything I did?"

Something deep inside of him registered the truth in her words. She was right he should hate her and yet somehow he just couldn't. God knows he had tried after she left to hate her, to close his heart to her and rid himself of the love he felt but he just couldn't do it no matter what he tried. Some part of him would probably always love her but that was the past. His only purpose here now was to try to right some wrongs, to appease the guilt he felt for his part in her marriage to Chris. He was the one that had handed her to the other man on a silver platter and he needed to atone for that mistake. After that he would finally be able to move on with his life. He had Cathy now and once all this shit was finally resolved he would be free to love her the way he had been telling himself for months that he should.

He felt a modicum of guilt at the thought of his girlfriend so clueless in everything that was occurring. He had never really opened up to her the way he should, he would have to do better in the future and he had to believe that what he was doing here with Haley tonight would allow him to do that. He was desperately trying to convince himself that he was doing it for Cathy but even he had trouble believing that.

"I don't hate you Haley," he said finally answering her question of moments before. "I'm not sure what I feel but I don't hate you."

He shifted uncomfortably in the chair and could feel her gaze on him. "Nathan why don't you go to the spare room and get some sleep?"

"I'm fine here," he told her even though he knew it was more than obvious that he was lying.

"You're clearly not," she told him. "I'll be fine just go get some sleep."

"Haley you're anything but fine at the moment. Sitting in this chair all night is not going to kill me," he said, his groan of pain as his leg cramped showing him to be the liar she knew he was.

She sighed moving over in the bed. "Come here," she told him.

"What? Haley, no…"

"Nathan just get in the damn bed. You need to get some sleep and there is no way you're going to do that sitting in that stupid chair. Now get in."

"Haley I can't."

"I'm not asking you to have sex with me I'm just giving you a place to sleep. God we used to be married surely we can spend a night in the same bed without all this drama."

He looked at her uncertainly, his emotions warring within him. He wanted nothing more than to get in that bed with her, to be physically close to her again but he didn't know if he should. She was so fragile right now, what if this pushed her over the edge?

She sighed again this time with frustration. "Nathan for fucks sake will you just get in here."

He could hardly contain his shock, never had it been so blatantly clear just how much she had changed then in that moment. The Haley he had known years before would never have cursed like that. It sounded so wrong to hear those words coming from her mouth.

Uncertainly he stood up moving towards the bed, he sat on the edge removing his shoes silently questioning his own judgement half expecting her to start freaking out on him at any moment but she remained quiet.

Sliding into the bed beside her he did his best to not get too close not wanting to scare her.

"See," she said "isn't that better. Now I don't know about you but I'm going to get some sleep."

She turned away from him and he heard her quietly whisper in the darkness. "Goodnight Nathan."

"Night Haley."

He lay there for some time just listening to her breathe, he knew that despite what she had said she was not sleeping. It was almost an hour before he heard the change in tempo of her breath and knew she was once again sleeping. But sleep was suddenly nowhere to be found for him, it felt surreal to be lying there beside her again and although he knew it probably didn't really mean anything he couldn't help but wonder what it all meant to her.

It was almost like a dream to be lying so close to her again. It was something he had never thought would happen in his lifetime to be actually sharing a bed with the woman he had once been married to. There was not the slightest inclination of anything sexual in the act simply borne of necessity and comfort though whose he couldn't be sure.

Sleep did eventually come to him and finally his mind stopped whirling with everything and simply slipped into oblivion.

When he woke the next morning he was almost surprised to find himself there to find that it hadn't simply been some strange dream. He turned towards where she had been lying only to find the bed beside him empty. He looked around the room but there was no sign of her.

Suddenly the door burst open and Zach stood there his mouth open in surprise at finding his uncle there instead of the aunt he had come looking for.

"Hey Uncle Nate mom told me to come tell Aunty Haley that breakfast is ready. What are you doing here?" he asked obviously confused.

"Aunty Haley had a bad dream," Nathan told him. "You know how your mom gets into bed with you when you can't sleep well that's what I did with Aunty Haley."

"Oh," Zach said absorbing the information, then brightened almost instantly. "Are you going to have breakfast with us too?"

"Yeah buddy of course I am. I'm just going to wait for Aunty Haley to come back."

"But she'll take forever" Zach complained "can't you come now? Daddy's making pancakes."

"Pancakes wow that sounds great," Nathan told his nephew. "Guess we better get down there before your mommy eats them all hey."

Zach giggled "yeah come on," he said holding out his hand towards Nathan.

Nathan got out of the bed putting on his shoes before allowing Zach to lead him downstairs to breakfast.

Lucas stood at the stove cooking just as Zach had said he was. Brooke and Taylor sat at the table blatantly ignoring each other.

Everyone looked up as they entered.

"Morning," Nathan said.

"You're still here," Brooke said surprised "but where did you sleep."

Zach chimed in with the answer "he slept in Aunty Haley's bed, she had a bad dream," he told them all.

Nathan could see Luke shooting him questioning glances out of the corner of his eye but steadfastly avoided looking at his brother. Instead he walked to the bench pouring himself a coffee before joining the two women at the table and pulling Zach up into his lap.

Knowing that there was an inquisition awaiting him he deliberately concentrated all of his attention on his nephew listening with rapt attention as Zach talked a mile a minute, his attention only leaving him when Haley walked into the kitchen twenty minutes later her hair still damp from the shower.

He looked at her and smiled reassuringly waiting for her to smile in response but her face remained blank. She was looking at him the same way she had ever since she had got back and he mentally kicked himself for thinking that perhaps the events in the early hours of this morning had actually meant anything.

"Aunty Haley was there monsters in your dream?" Zach asked urgently. "Sometimes there are monsters in my dreams but when there are Mommy gets into bed with me just like Uncle Nate did with you."

For just a moment Haley's gaze rested on Nathan's face and he thought he saw a flicker of something behind her eyes but then it was gone just as suddenly as it had come.

"Um yeah monsters," she said quietly as she sat down cradling her cup of coffee in her hands.

Taylor suddenly jumped into the conversation drawing Zach's attention away from Haley.

"Hey Zach what do you want to do today? It's the weekend which means no pre school for you and no work for me."

"But Mommy you haven't been going to work since Aunty Haley came to stay anyway."

"Yeah but I have to go back this week Zach otherwise we're not going to have any money to buy you your new soccer stuff."

"Mommy you have to go to work." Zach told her as the adults around the table laughed, all except Haley who simply looked at him mutely a ghost of a smile crossing her lips.

Lucas set down a huge stack of pancakes and they all began eating. After they were done Nathan stood up. "I need to get going I have stuff to do today."

Although his words were directed at the group as a whole his attention was focused solely on Haley waiting for some sign of acknowledgement of his words but she simply continued to stare at her plate.

He sighed in disappointment it seemed whatever progress he thought they had made the night before had been washed away in the cold light of day.

Brooke stood up too. "See you later Nathan, I'm going to go have a shower."

After she left Lucas, Taylor and Zach stood up from the table. "Come on Nate we'll walk you out," Lucas said.

He threw one last look at Haley before walking towards the front door with the others. "Um I guess I'll see you around Haley," he told her hoping for some kind of response though just what he wasn't sure.

Feeling defeated he walked out to his truck trying to appear interested in the chatter going on around him.

Haley stood up from the table walking into the living room and going to the window as she watched him climb into the driver's seat.

"Bye Nathan," she said quietly. "Thank you."


	13. Baby Steps

**Hi all, well once again it has been a long time between updates but I can promise that this time at least I do have a good excuse.You see not only have I moved house since I last updated but I have in fact moved countries. My life to put it mildly has been hectic. I could go on about all the craziness that has ensued but you don't really want to read about that. So I'll shut up and let you read the chapter. Hope you all enjoy it and I promise this time that I will do my damndest to update a lot sooner. Next I'll be posting a chapter of TMTCTMTSTS so keep an eye out for it hopefully within the next week. Can't wait to hear what you all think of this one.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**Baby Steps.**

Nathan drove with the window down hoping that the cold wind on his face would somehow help to clear his thoughts. His mind was racing after everything that had happened the night before, she had finally opened up to him and then this morning it was like they were back at square one. He knew that it was unrealistic to expect too much from her after everything she had been through and to be honest he still wasn't sure just what it was that he wanted from her but the fact remained that it had cut him like a knife to see her look at him so blankly again.

For a brief moment he had allowed himself to hope that maybe the night they had spent together, talking a little but mainly just being together had somehow had more of an effect on her than what it had now proven to have. He had hoped that maybe just maybe she would come into that kitchen showing some sign of being on the road to healing. He almost laughed out loud then at the notion that he had allowed himself to think for however brief a moment that simply having him lie next to her would help her in some way. The truth was that it probably could have been just about anyone in that room with her last night, he wasn't somehow special because for a moment she had seemed to open up to him in the dark. She was obviously no closer now to recovery than she had ever been and his presence had probably meant nothing to her.

It was a terrifying thought but it was possible that she may never heal from what that, it almost physically pained him to use the word, man, had done to her. He almost wished that Chris was there with him right then so he could beat him senseless. In reality he knew it would do little to help Haley but it would certainly make him feel a lot better, to alleviate some of the frustration that churned inside of him. He wanted to hurt him, to make him feel even a modicum of the pain he had dished out to Haley on such a regular basis, to pound that smirking face into the ground till he was no longer recognisable to those who knew him best. He wondered how Haley would react to such an act, would she cheer him on or would it be like it had been in the dream, her still clinging to the fact that her husband loved her.

He remembered her words from the dream when he had begged her to see that what she had with Chris wasn't love, "_But it's the only love I have_."

He had reduced her to that, it didn't matter how many times he tried to tell himself that she had left him and in so doing placed herself into the situation that she now found herself struggling to survive. Somehow it all came back to him, he was at fault and no one would ever be able to make him believe otherwise. He had tried for so long to mask his guilt with anger and for a small period of time he had even conned himself into believing that he hated her but the events of the last few weeks had thrown into stark contrast his real feelings and he knew that deep down he still loved her. But even knowing that did little to lighten his heart because he knew that their time had passed them by, he could see no way that they could ever be together again after this and he had to somehow move forward with his life without her in it.

As if answering his prayer his cell phone began to buzz beside him and he looked down shocked for a moment when he saw Cathy's name in the caller ID. Cautiously he picked it up, inhaling deeply before speaking.

"Hello."

"Nate where are you?" her voice came sounding slightly petulant. "You were meant to be here half an hour ago. We're at the cafe waiting for you."

"The cafe?" Nathan asked incredulously. "Wait who's we?"

"Um my parents and I. Oh don't tell me you forgot. You're supposed to be meeting us here for brunch."

"Your parents! Oh shit," he said as all the plans they had made for her parents' visit came rushing back to him. "Oh shit," he said again. "Um I'm on my way I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Wait Nate, are you ok? You sound a bit distracted."

"What, oh yeah I'm fine. Just didn't sleep very well last night," he said congratulating himself on the fact that it wasn't in fact a lie; he really hadn't got much sleep the night before.

He threw the phone down onto the seat beside him turning the car in the direction of the cafe and wishing he could steer his thoughts so easily away from their current direction. He couldn't get Haley's face out of his mind, those huge brown eyes that failed to hide her misery, those lips that so rarely turned up in a smile these days, the pale almost translucent skin that made the dark circles under her eyes so much more prominent.Her face no longer held the beauty it once had when filled with achildlike joy, that beauty had been replaced with something perhaps more profound, a haunting soulfulness that hypnotised him.

He pulled the car into a parking space at the front of the cafe trying desperately to reign in his thoughts before entering. Cathy was wonderful and she deserved his full attention, she had been there for him in a way that Haley herself had not cared to. Haley was his past and while he couldn't be certain that Cathy was his future she was at the very least his present and she was the rightful owner of his thoughts and affections. He simply had to try harder. Resolve firmly in place he stepped out of the vehicle and strode determinedly towards the cafe door.

Haley sat in the chair staring out of the window but seeing nothing of what lay outside. Her mind was filled with snapshots from the past, little glimpses into everything that had led her to where she was today. She heard someone enter behind her but assumed that as always it was Taylor coming to try and butt into her private affairs or Brooke feigning indifferencewhile her eyes told another story. Eyes that still brimmed over with unwanted sympathy every time she looked at her. She was to say the least surprised that the two of them had left her alone this long after discovering that Nathan had spent the night with her. She had expected one or both of them to be beating her door down with a stick after he left but for the past hour she had been left in relative peace in the sanctity of her room. It was a peace though that she knew could not last and now it seemed it was to be broken.

She made no move to acknowledge the intrusion, instead continuing to stare out of the window through unseeing eyes.

She started in surprise though when she felt a small hand reach out and rest itself on her arm. Looking up she was shocked to see Zach peering curiously at her.

"Aunt Haley, what are you looking at?"

For a moment she struggled to find her voice, her contact with children had been minimal throughout her life and that had changed little since she had come to stay with her sister and her nephew.

"I uh, well I uh guess nothing really."

"Then why are you looking?" he asked simplifying things in the way that only children can.

"I'm not really looking," she told him. "I was just sitting here thinking."

"What about?" he asked prodding further, not content to be simply brushed aside the way Haley had successfully done with almost everyone else since she had returned home.

"Things that I don't really want to talk about," Haley answered her irritation rising slightly at his refusal to simply be dismissed the way she would have no doubt have done with Brooke or Taylor by now.

"Why not?" he asked and Haley sighed knowing that she would not be rid of this intrusion till she gave him what he wanted from her although just what that was she wasn't entirely sure.

"Because it makes me depressed," she said pausing when she saw the look of confusion in his eyes, "it makes me sad ok, really, really sad."

"Oh," he said pausing for a moment to absorb what she had said. "Everyone is sad, except me," he said proudly poking himself in the chest and preening slightly. "I'm not sad but I don't like it when mommy is sad all the time, she doesn't play with me anymore. She just looks up here at your door and talks to daddy and that other lady Brooke and looks sad. Sometimes," he said conspiratorially "she cries and daddy has to give her cuddles to make her stop."

He stopped looking at her considering his wordsfor a moment before continuing. "I liked it better before you came because it was just me and mommy and daddy and we were happy but mommy said you need us so you have to stay. So please Aunt Haley can you try to be happy then maybe mommy will play with me again."

Haley sat staring at the little boy in shock. For weeks she had listened to Taylor's bitching, Lucas' pleading and Brooke's cajoling to no effect and now in just a few short sentences Taylor's four year old son had thrown into stark definition just what an effect her presence was having on everyone around her. She had been so caught up in her own misery she had barely registered the dark cloud that seemed to have enveloped the house in her despair.

She looked at the blonde haired child staring at her so earnestly, his eyes brimming over with an unspoken plea and wondered how she could have been so selfish. This house was supposed to be a happy and joyous place in which to spend your childhood, it had been for her, although now it felt as if all of those wonderful memories belonged to someone else. It was difficult even for her to equate those happy memories with the person she now was; almost impossible to believe that in what felt like another lifetime she had been a happy, carefree child and adolescent growing up in this very house.

She looked again at the window of her room and for the first time in years allowed the memories to flood over her. She remembered how as a precocious ten year old how determined she had been not to allow an edict from her parents, demanding she stay home prevent her from sneaking out to meet up with Lucas. He had told her that he had something to show her that could only be shown at night and so she had waited quietly in her bed for the sounds of her parents going to bed before she had quickly dressed and climbed down the tree almost falling out of it in her excitement.

_Lucas had waited for her on the pavement in front of her house smiling at her eagerness as she skipped up to him. She slipped her hand into his and he laughed as she leaned up kissing him on the cheek._

"_Will you please tell me where we're going?" she begged not for the first time._

"_Hales calm down," he said for the first time sounding a little irritated by her questioning. "If you want your surprise then you have to stop asking me all the time otherwise I'm going to leave you here," he said crossing his arms over his chest and doing his best to look annoyed with her._

"_Ok, ok I promise," she said tugging on his arm, looking up at him and giving him her best wounded puppy expression. "Please take me with you," she begged._

"_Fine lets go," he said giving the sigh that only a long suffering big brother can truly perfect._

_She giggled again sliding her hand once again into his and skipping along happily beside him._

_When they arrived at their destination twenty minutes later she regarded him with a disappointed gaze._

"_Why did you bring me here, I thought you had a surprise for me?"_

"_Hales," he said warningly._

"_But Luke I don't get it. You said you had a surprise for me and then you bring me here to your mom's café where we go everyday. It's not even open," she said gesturing to the darkened building and the closed sign hanging in the door._

"_Why do you think I have these?" he said mischievously holding up a keychain._

"_Ooh is that your mom's keys?" she asked her eyes lighting up. "Are we going to sneak in and eat all the cookies?" she questioned him again a cheeky grin crossing her face at the thought._

_He snorted in disgust at her words. "No I've got something much better," he assured her._

"_Better than your mom's double fudge chocolate chip cookies," she said in amazement, "Wow it must be good."_

"_You'll see," he said mysteriously inserting the key into the lock and turning it carefully. He opened the door and turned back to her smiling at her. "You're going to love this Hales I promise."_

"_Hang on Luke what about the…" she asked just as a siren sounded from within and lights switched on all around them from neighbouring homes._

"_What about the alarm," she finished off despairingly._

"_We have to get out of here," he said grabbing her hand and turning around to run back down the street. They had barely got fifteen yards though before the flashing lights of a local patrol car forced them to stop._

"_You need to stop right there kids and tell me just what you are doing out at this time of night and running from the scene of a break in."_

"_It's not a break in," Haley piped in, "He's got the key."_

"_Hales shut up," Lucas hissed at her, but she pressed on regardless._

"_We were just going to get some cookies," she told the officers, hands on hips as she glared at them._

"_Well little missy I think perhaps you and your buddy here should get into the car and we'll see if we can't find out exactly what this is all about."_

"_No way," Haley said obstinately. "I'm not getting into that car."_

"_Haley," Lucas said urgently, "Just get in the car."_

"_Nope," Haley said determinedly shaking her head. "I'm not doing it."_

"_Haley, you are going to get us in even more trouble now just get in."_

"_But," she said more than ready to continue the argument._

"_ENOUGH," Lucas said grabbing her arm and guiding her into the car._

_The officer stood holding the door open until the two of them were safely seated then slammed the door shut after first ensuring he had each of their names and addresses. Getting back into the front of the car they started off back towards the café, parking directly in front._

_Lucas groaned and buried his head in his hands. "My mom is going to kill me," he said, "and your parents are going to be so mad."_

"_My parents, oh FUDGE," she exclaimed as the reality of their situation finally hit home. "Darn it Luke why did you make me come out here. Now I'm going to be grounded and I won't be able to go to Jessie's birthday party. Oh Luke this is going to be so bad and it's all your fault."_

_Lucas looked at her incredulously. "Haley you begged me to take you. I wanted to go after dinner and get your mom to drop us off but you said it would be more fun to sneak out. Well what a great idea that turned out to be. This is just so great Hales, but you just remember when my mom asks I'm going to make sure she knows this was all your idea."_

"_LUCAS EUGENE SCOTT," Haley screeched at him. "No way are you going to pin this all on me. You're the one who said you wanted to show me something."_

"_Yes but you…" and so the argument continued neither one of them prepared to take the wrath they were convinced was coming their way until finally completely fed up with his attitude Haley had hauled back and sucker punched him right in the stomach. By the time Karen Roe and Lydia and Jimmy James had arrived it was to find two very sullen ten year olds now separated by an officer sitting between them each refusing to so much as look at the other._

_Each had been taken home by their very unimpressed parents and despite their best efforts neither one of them had succeeded in escaping blameless from their little escapade. Just as Haley had predicted they had been grounded and she had been forced to miss Jessie's birthday party a fate worse than death to any ten year old girl. The two of them had ignored each other for days afterwards until finally Karen had had enough of her son's misery and had forced the two of them to sit down and talk._

_Haley had sat at the table arms crossed over her chest, her stance mirroring Lucas' even if she refused to look at him. After ten minutes of silence Karen had finally had enough and told them that they either started to talk right that second or she would make sure they were grounded even longer, telling Haley that if she wanted to attend Jessie's eleventh birthday party then she had better get talking._

_This reminder of just what Haley had missed out on though was exactly what was needed to spur the young Miss James into action and she launched into speech immediately making sure Lucas understood just what it was she had missed out on by not being able to attend the birthday party of the year._

"_Did you know they had ice cream cake?" she snarled at the boy who barely a week before she would have defended to within an inch of her own life._

_Lucas didn't acknowledge her though continuing to stare into space as if she hadn't even spoken until a sharp jab in the ribs from his mother made him reconsider his silence._

"_Yeah well I had to miss out on Basketball," he said petulantly making sure she realised just what a sacrifice had been called for on his part too. "I just wanted to show you what I made for us on the roof."_

_Haley immediately forgot about the birthday party and all of its glories as her interest was perked by his words._

"_You made something?" she asked._

"_Yeah," he responded "And it's really cool."_

"_Really, what is it?"_

"_Mom can I please show her?" he asked sending a pleading glance in Karen's direction._

"_Of course you can," Karen answered him "But then you need to get back down here, there's a pile of dishes waiting on you in the kitchen."_

"_Yeah, yeah I know. Come on Hales let's go."_

_She followed behind him eagerly up the stairs to the roof, stopping in amazement at the sight before her._

"_Oh Lucas this is so cool," she said her enthusiasm bubbling over as she took it all in. "It's a mini golf course. Did you really make this just for us?"_

"_Yeah," he said his pride in his achievement obvious._

"_Can we try it out?" she asked him._

"_Not right now," Karen's voice piped in from behind them. "Lucas has a lot of dishes waiting for him. But if you want to wait around Haley I'm sure Lucas would love to play up here with you afterwards. Let's go sunshine," she said to her son who groaned in disappointment at her words._

"_It's ok Lucas. Come on I'll help you if we get it done quickly we can come back up here."_

"_Alright," Lucas conceded. "You should help anyway since it's your fault I have to do them."_

_She giggled linking her arm through his and going to the stairs._

A small smile graced her lips as she remembered the fun the two of them had had up there in the years after he had made it. Those were some of her favourite memories from her childhood but it had been a long time since she had allowed herself to remember them.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her reverie and she looked up to see the object of her thoughts from moments before standing nervously in the doorway.

"Hey little guy," Lucas said to his son, "Your mom's waiting downstairs for you to take you to the store to get your new soccer stuff."

"Awesome," Zach said racing for the doorway and Haley couldn't help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm.

"I have to go Aunt Haley but I'll see you later ok?" he said barely sparing her a glance as he ran out the door and clattered down the stairs calling excitedly to his mother as he went.

"Um I guess I'll leave you to it," Lucas said uncomfortably turning to leave.

"Ah Lucas why don't you stay for a bit, we um haven't really talked since I got back."

Lucas stopped shock evident on his face at the invitation he had clearly not expected.

"That would be great Haley," he said uncertainly coming back into the room and sitting down in the chair opposite the bed where she had now moved to sit.

"So ah," she paused seemingly at a loss as to what to say now that she had him there.

"So um what's been happening with you?" she asked clearly wanting to keep the conversation away from herself.

"Oh you know nothing really. I keep myself busy with work and Zach. He's the best thing that ever happened to me Hales. When I found out Taylor was pregnant I never dreamed how great it would be to be a father to him. He's a great kid; I don't know what I'd do without him."

"Yeah I can see that," she said quietly and Lucas could see a sadness in her eyes at her words but didn't press her to elaborate. It was a big enough step that she was sitting here talking to him like this without bringing up anything that might make her clam up again.

"So what about you and Brooke, it must be hard seeing her again after everything that happened?"

He looked at her slightly surprised that she seemed to have a knowledge of what had happened and the repercussions.

"I may not have been around Luke but that doesn't mean I forgot everything. I saw the way the two of you were in High School, I didn't think you could ever love anyone the way you loved her, well apart I guess from…" She trailed off then not wanting to speak her name when she knew it was still such a sore point at least where Brooke was concerned.

"Yeah we all miss Peyton," he said quietly "But I guess there's no changing the past."

"Don't I know it," she said softly almost too quietly for him to catch. He wasn't given a chance to question her further about it though as she turned to him once more asking the one question he didn't have an answer to.

"How are things with you and Brooke?"

"I really don't know how to answer that Hales. I mean obviously things are uncomfortable, a lot of stuff happened around the time Peyton died, stuff that can't just be swept aside by any of us…" He trailed off for a moment as he gathered his thoughts again. "You know I really didn't think I would ever see her again and I'd pretty much made my peace with that and now here she is."

"I know that's what you want to think Luke, that you'd made your peace, but had you really, because it seems to me that you've just been biding your time. Have you had any serious girlfriends since she left? I don't think you really have moved on, no matter what you might want us to believe. Whether that's because you're still in love with her or whether it's because you still feel guilty about hurting her only you can answer. But you've been given this chance Luke to see her again and spend time with her, don't waste it."

Lucas sat regarding her silently more than a little surprised that she had actually noticed what was going on around her. With everything that had been going on she had not seemed to really be aware of anything other than her own problems but perhaps she had been more aware than any of them had really given her credit for.

He wondered if she saw the wisdom in her words as they applied to her. Could she see that she should be taking her own advice and not wasting an opportunity that had been put in front of her? Somehow he doubted it.

He watched her wondering how she would react if he tried to talk to her about her own life both the past that had led her here and what she was still dealing with now. Instinctively he knew he had to bide his time, to say anything now would be tantamount to slamming shut perhaps forever, the small window she had opened up to him. She was extending an olive branch and if he didn't tread carefully it would snap in two.

He looked around the room searching for a more neutral topic to discuss, he didn't want to talk about Brooke and what had happened and he certainly didn't want to talk about Peyton. His feelings about the blonde woman were still so messed up and he held a lot of guilt about what had happened between the two of them so many years ago.

Finally selecting what he hoped would be a neutral topic for them to talk about he looked at her and asked, "What were you and Zach talking about?"

"He was just shedding light on a few things for me."

Lucas chuckled quietly at her words. "Yeah he's good at that. So what did he get you to realise?"

"Actually a few things," she said, "But I guess the main thing he did was to make me remember just how lucky I am to have a friend like you."

He looked at her quizzically for a moment and she elaborated. "I was remembering that time when we were ten and we snuck out and managed to set the alarm off at your mom's café."

Lucas laughed at the images she conjured in his mind. "Yeah I can remember I was so pissed with you for getting me grounded and you were livid about missing Jessie's birthday party. Funny how much such trivial things mattered to us then. God that was nothing compared to what we've had to endure since huh?"

He had to fight the urge to slap his hand over his mouth as he saw the look of pain flash through her eyes. Everything had been going so well until he had been so stupid and said what he had. He wracked his brain for something to say, anything that could retrieve the situation but he could tell just looking at her that their moment had passed.

"I'm glad we had this talk Hales, I've missed you. We'll do it again sometime ok?"

"Yeah sure," she said unenthusiastically, her mind clearly somewhere else.

She had moved to stand in front of the window again, her attention fixed on some far off point. Lucas moved to stand behind her, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder before he left.

She stood at the window trying to focus her attention on anything other than the memories Lucas had brought into stark contrast once again. She needed to think about something, anything else and so she allowed her mind to go elsewhere, to a place she had steadfastly avoided since her return to Tree Hill. As she looked at the window she thought about pebbles being thrown at it, trying to get her attention, about a lithe athletic body that would climb in after darkness and slide into her bed with her, about that same warm body that would press up against her as she slept. So many nights had been spent that way and up until last night she had thought they were over, until last night she had invited him into her bed again.

Nathan moved uncomfortably in the booth beside Cathy wishing he could get away from the piercing gaze he was being regarded with from his girlfriend's mother. He knew that he had failed to impress her parents, his tardiness certainly hadn't helped and the fact that he looked as if he had been put through a ringer before he arrived only added to their disapproval.

Cathy however seemed unaware of the tension that enveloped their group and prattled on happily, thrilled to finally be having her parents meeting the boyfriend she had been telling them about for months.

He could hardly wait for it to end. He wanted nothing more than to leave and go home, take a hot shower and take some time to process everything that had happened between him and Haley the night before.

He wondered whether she was thinking about it too but immediately chastised himself for being stupid. He was sure that she had most likely blocked out everything that had happened between them. There was no way she would want to think about that.

He felt a jab in his ribs and looked up to find the three other occupants of the booth staring at him expectantly.

"Ah sorry, what, I missed that?" he said unable to ignore the way Cathy was now glaring at him too.

"Nathan look maybe you should just go. You're obviously distracted or tired or whatever it is you want to call it. Go home and get some sleep and I'll give you a call later alright," Cathy said a tinge of annoyance tainting her voice.

Seeing the hurt look in her eyes Nathan could have kicked himself for being so inattentive. She had done nothing to deserve being treated this way.

"Cathy can I talk to you for a minute," he said standing up from the table and holding his hand out to her. She stood up following him to a corner of the café and standing, her arms folded across her chest defensively. He smiled at her trying to reassure her as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms in a soothing fashion.

"I'm sorry Cath; I know I haven't really been here today, like I said I really didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Things have been a bit crazy lately but I promise I do want to be here and I'm going to try harder with your parents."

She looked at him considering his words for a moment. "I'm not going to force you to be here if you don't want to be Nathan," she said giving him an out that he wished he held the courage to take. The truth was he needed to get out of that café, get away from his girlfriend and her parents and their all seeing gaze but he couldn't do that to Cathy, no matter how much he might have wanted to.

"If you're really sure," she finally conceded her frown easing slightly. "You know how important you are to me Nathan and I really want my parents to love you the way I do."

He fought hard to stop the memories of how easy it had been with Lydia and Jimmy James, the way they joked around with him, the way they embarrassed Haley with their comments at times.

He still remembered what it was like the day he had gone to ask for their permission to marry Haley. The constant jibes about whether he had come through the window, their certainty that Haley must have been pregnant for them to even consider getting married at their age. His relationship with them had been so easy, not at all like the horrific stories that so often were told about parents in law, but that was over now and he couldn't keep clinging to the past. Sure things had started off a little rocky with Mike and Lucy Douglas but he was fairly certain that the situation could still be saved if he just tried a bit harder.

He smiled at Cathy again putting his arm around her shoulders as he led her back to the table. He sat down giving Mike and Lucy a grin as he set about trying to charm them.

An hour later the four occupants of the table were laughing and joking like old friends. Nathan knew though that Cathy's parents were still slightly wary of him but they were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for the sake of their daughter and he knew that was all he could realistically ask for.

"So Nathan," Mike said with a grin "Cathy here tells me that you're coach of the high school basketball team. How are they doing this year?"

"Oh you know for the most part they're a good bunch of kids, they get up to no good sometimes but I know what I was like at their age so I guess I can't say too much. Like last week a group of them got drunk and went down to the school and started to…" he trailed off as his cell phone started vibrating in his pocket. He smiled apologetically at Mike and Lucy pulling it out of his pocket, his smile faded though as he saw the caller ID displaying Taylor's name.

"Um sorry can you excuse me for a moment I really need to take this," he said getting up quickly from the table and crossing to the other side of the room where he was fairly certain that he wouldn't be overheard. Flipping it open he answered it breathlessly, "Taylor what's going on? This really isn't a good time you know."

His words though were meant with silence apart from the sound of breathing coming from the other end of the line.

His gut tightened as instinctively he realised who had called him. "Haley," he said quietly, "Haley is that you?"

Still she remained silent as he wondered what had led her to be calling him. This was one phone call he would never have expected in a million years. "Haley talk to me please," he begged a note of desperation creeping into his voice.

He looked back to the table where Cathy sat laughing and talking with her parents. He knew he should be back there with them but somehow even though she was yet to utter a word he couldn't hang up on Haley.

He tried once more, "Haley has something happened, is something wrong? Where's Taylor?"

Just when he thought that she wasn't going to say anything though he finally heard her voice so soft that he almost didn't hear her.

"Um I don't really know why I called you. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for last night. It um well I guess it really meant a lot the way you took care of me. Lucas was just here and I was thinking about how different everything used to be, before…" her voice caught on the word but she continued, "Before I left."

He stood silently unable to speak as he listened to her words, words that surprised him more than he cared to admit.

Misinterpreting his silence she rushed into speech once more. "Um I know you said it wasn't really a good time so I guess I should let you get back to whatever you were doing. Bye," she said hanging up before he could speak although just what he would have said he didn't know.

He looked at the table again wishing wholeheartedly that he didn't have to go back over there but even if could have justified to himself leaving without a word to his girlfriend and her parents the fact was that his keys and jacket were still at the table. Gritting his teeth he walked back over there forcing a smile to his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Cathy looked up smiling until she saw the look in his eyes. "Nate is something wrong?"

"I um, well I'm really sorry but I have to go. That was Lucas," he lied the words almost sticking in his throat as he spoke, "he needs me to go over to his place."

He looked over at Mike and Lucy. "It was really nice meeting you guys. I'm sure I'll see you again soon." He shook hands with Mike smiling politely at Lucy and leaned down kissing Cathy quickly on the cheek. "I'll see you later," he promised her making a hasty exit.

As he walked to his truck he tossed up the possibility of driving over to Taylor's and paying Haley a visit but something stopped him. Today had been a big step and he didn't want to pressure her but more than that the thing that prevented him from driving over there was his own fear. It had taken a long time to get his life together the last time Haley left and he really wasn't sure if he could do that again. He had a good life now; he had Cathy, a steady job and his friends and family. Shouldn't that be enough for him? He wanted desperately to believe that it was.


	14. From the Mouths of Babes

**A.N I know I kind of promised to try and write a new chapter of The More Things Change... this week but well the ideas for this one were just flowing and before I knew it the chapter was finished. You'll find this one is a bit different to the ones that have come previously but I just want to warn you in advance that this story is a long way from over. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter.**

**A Time Best Forgotten**

**Part One**

**From the Mouths of Babes.**

"What do you want Taylor?" Nathan said warily as he opened his front door to find his nephew's mother standing on his doorstep.

"Now Nate is that any way to greet your sister in law?" she chirped cheerfully at him.

"Ex-sister in law," he corrected her "Thankfully you and Lucas never actually continued your farce of a relationship that far," he said turning away and picking up his coffee to sip at it and therefore failing to notice the way her face fell for a moment at his words.

"Yes well you and I may not be related anymore but I'm still the mother of your nephew and he's the reason I'm here."

Nathan's interest perked at the mention of his nephew. "Where is my number one shooting partner?" he asked looking past Taylor to her car as if he expected to see Zach locked in the vehicle.

"Well obviously he's not here," she sniped at him. "God Nate give me some credit for having some sort of maternal instincts."

This time Nathan noticed the anguish in her voice and hastened to reassure her. "I'm sorry Taylor I know you're a great mom to Zach. He's lucky to have you."

"Yeah I know," she said with a chuckle, "I just wanted to hear you admit it."

He groaned, "I should have known you were just fishing for compliments. So what do you want Taylor I'm assuming there was actually a reason for you to be coming here?"

"Well of course Nathan," she said her amusement still evident in her tone. "Well this is kind of embarrassing. I'm not really sure how I should say it."

"Come off it Tay, you've never had a shy moment in your life. Just spit it out why don't you."

"Ok," she said sighing as she seemingly searched for the right words. "Well you know I'm a single mom. I mean I can't even remember the last time I had a date. I thought maybe you could help me relieve some of my frustrations." Nathan almost choked on his coffee at her words.

She laughed again clearly enjoying teasing him. "Calm down Nathan it was just a joke. The only reason I'm here is because I thought it was time we all relaxed and actually spent some time together without all the agony we seem to have been experiencing lately. I don't know what's happened but Haley's actually seemed almost human the last couple of days so I figure we may as well take advantage of it while it lasts plus it's Zach's birthday and I thought at the very least we could have a family dinner for him."

"Oh shit," Nathan broke in "I can't believe I forgot the little guy's birthday."

"Nathan don't stress I think just about everyone has been a bit distracted lately. God I only remembered yesterday to run down and get his present. Anyway can you make it for dinner tonight? I'm sure it would mean a lot to Zach and like I said I think its more than time for us all to just relax and enjoy ourselves for once." She rushed on listing reason after reason why Nathan should join them for dinner that night and not giving him a chance to speak until finally Nathan had enough and waved a hand in front of her face dragging her attention back to him and putting a halt to Taylor's spiel.

"What?" she asked slightly breathless from her rant.

"I'll come," he told her.

"What?" she said again, stunned for a moment. "Sorry what did you say?"

"I said I'll come. Why the hell are you acting so surprised? Have you ever known me to miss one of Zach's birthdays?" he asked slightly offended that she would actually think he wouldn't come.

"Ok then, well my house at about seven then alright?"

"Yeah sounds good. I'll bring some beers," he responded.

"That will be great Nate. Well I better get going I need to grab some steaks and burgers to put on the grill. Oh by the way I know I didn't mention it before but you and Lucas are actually cooking tonight."

Nathan laughed at her before answering "I can't really say I'm surprised and to be honest I'm actually kind of relieved. I swear the only thing Lydia ever taught any of you to cook was Macaroni Cheese and let's face it Taylor your Mac and cheese isn't exactly that good. In fact I think the best word for it would be toxic."

Taylor slapped him on the arm, "Come on Nate, it's not that bad."

"Do you really want to talk about the last time you made it for all of us?" Nate asked with a grin watching as memory dawned in her eyes.

"Ah I guess not," she said turning away so he couldn't see the mortified look in her eyes as she recalled the gooey mess that she had tried to serve up to them two months previously.

"Alright," she said pulling her keys out of her purse, "I really need to get going if I'm going to pick up what we need and get home again. I'm sure everything's fine but this is the first time I've left Zach alone with Haley and I know he can be a handful. I just hope she's as up to as she said she was. I'll see you in a few hours ok?" she said in a rush as if suddenly realising just much of a chance she was taking leaving her son with his aunt. She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek before walking out the door and getting into the car

Nathan smiled to himself a little at the thought of his nephew and what he would buy him for his birthday, it was the exact same present he'd bought for the boy every year since he'd been born and it never failed to bring a smile to his face. He knew this time would be no different. His smile faded a little at the thought of Zach and Haley alone in the house but he quickly reassured himself. Taylor was a great mom and there was no way she would leave Zach, the most important person in her life with someone unless she really believed that it would be ok.

Several hours later he walked up to the door, turning with a start when he heard a car honk behind him. Seeing Lucas pulling into the drive he grinned and waited for him.

"Hey man, how's it going?" he asked as his brother approached.

"Good, good Nate, how are things with you?" he asked peering closely at Nathan as if looking for the slightest indication of unhappiness in his brother's eyes.

"I'm fine Luke, never been better," he said knowing that it was a white lie that Lucas would no doubt pick up on but the truth was he was feeling the best he had in the last few weeks and he was truly looking forward to the night ahead of them.

Lucas noticed the gift wrapped package in Nathan's arms and the grin once again appeared on his face. "So I guess there's no need for me to ask what that is?" he said with a chuckle.

Nathan laughed too. "Hey man when you pick a winner you stick to it alright."

"You're just lucky that he's still young enough to forget what you got him last year and every year before that so this actually still comes as a surprise to him."

"Don't I know it," Nathan said laughing again.

"Well shall we get in there. I'm sure by now he's probably driving Taylor nuts waiting for everyone to get here."

"You know my son," Lucas said "Never one to shy away from a party."

"Yeah I think he got that from me," Nathan answered.

"God I hope not," Lucas said rapping on the door a huge grin breaking out on his face as he heard his son's footsteps running towards the door.

"Who is it?" the high pitched childish voice rang out.

"It's me buddy," Lucas answered waiting for the door to open.

"Who's me?" Zach asked the door remaining firmly closed.

Nathan had to fight to hold in his laughter as he heard his nephew's question.

"It's daddy," Lucas tried again.

"Are you sure," Zach asked.

"I'm sure," Lucas answered "and I'm pretty sure this present I'm holding is for you too."

"Present," Zach shrieked excitedly wrenching the door open, his eyes lighting up as he saw his uncle Nathan standing on the step too, complete with present under his arm.

"Come in, come in," the birthday boy urged them excitedly.

Taylor walked out into the hallway grinning as she saw the two men standing there. "Hey guys about time you got here."

"Hey yourself," Lucas said walking over and giving her a hug.

"Hi Taylor," Nathan said stooping to kiss her briefly on the cheek before his attention was dragged away by Zach tugging excitedly on his shirt.

"Is that present for me?" he asked bringing everyone's attention squarely back to him.

"Yeah of course it is buddy. Why don't we go through to the other room and you can show me everything else you got today."

"Yeah," Zach shouted his agreement as he ran ahead. "Quick Uncle Nate you've got to see this it's so cool."

Nate followed after him shaking his head slightly at the child's exuberance. "Let me just put this beer in the kitchen Zach and I'll be right there."

The two walked away and Luke turned to Taylor shaking his head ruefully. "Wow he seems even more hyper than usual. We're in for a long night aren't we?"

"Yeah," Taylor laughed "I've definitely got to cut down on his sugar intake."

"So ah how's Haley? Is she planning to join us tonight?"

"I'm actually kind of amazed at how she's been the last couple of days. I don't know what happened but there seems to have been a little improvement in her. It's nothing major you know," she hastened to add not wanting to get Lucas' hopes up and have him expecting something extraordinary, "But she actually watched Zach for me for an hour this afternoon."

"She did?" Lucas asked in surprise.

"Yeah and they really seemed to enjoy it. I came back here and found the two of them making decorations and stuff for tonight. He was having a great time. In fact when he saw me walk in he actually seemed kind of disappointed. They really seem to have made some kind of connection the last couple of days. I don't know what it is but something has definitely changed."

Lucas looked around him taking in the streamers hanging haphazardly from the ceiling and the balloons dotted around the room. "Haley did this?" he asked.

"Yeah she and Zach did," Taylor responded, "Not that it really seems to have made any great difference in her attitude to me. She couldn't get back to her room quick enough when she saw me come in but she's in the sitting room now with Brooke so at least it looks like she's going to make some sort of effort for Zach's sake."

"Good," he said looking up as he saw Nathan making his way to the sitting room in search of his nephew. "So what do you need me to do? If I know you the kitchen is probably in uproar."

"God what is it with you Scott guys? Doesn't anyone have any faith in my culinary abilities?"

Lucas laughed, "Tay you remember the last time you cooked for everyone don't you?"

"Yes, yes I just wish everyone would stop reminding me about it."

"So I guess that means you don't need my help?" he asked.

"Who are you trying to kid of course I do," she said with a laugh grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the kitchen.

Nathan walked into the room his attention immediately drawn to the two women sitting in the room both steadfastly ignoring each other. Both Haley and Brooke sat watching Zach sifting through the pile of wrapping paper on the floor as if it were the most fascinating sight in the world.

Moments later Zach held up his prized possession triumphantly. "Look at this Uncle Nate, isn't it awesome? Mommy got it for me."

He saw Haley stiffen slightly as she heard Zach acknowledge his presence in the room. Brooke turned towards him offering a small smile which he returned even as she returned her attention to the little boy.

Nathan obligingly oohed and ahhed appropriately over the remote controlled car his nephew held up for his inspection.

"Well little man why don't we go test it out?" he suggested holding out his hand to his nephew.

Zach surprised him though when he turned back towards where Haley sat looking at her beseechingly. "Will you come too? Please Aunt Haley, please, please, please," he begged. "Come on it's my birthday you have to."

"Zach," Nathan said warningly "If she doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to."

Zach pouted at his words and looked again at his aunt silently begging her with his eyes to join their fun.

"It's fine Nathan, I'll come," she said surprising him almost as much as she surprised herself with her agreement. Before she could change her mind she stood up taking Zach by the hand.

Nathan started to follow after them but paused and turned back. "Ah Brooke do you want to join us too?" he asked.

She smiled at him grateful for the invitation but there was no way she wanted to get in the middle of whatever it was that was going to go on between them out there. "No it's fine Nathan I want to watch American Idol. I really want to see who's going to get eliminated tonight," she assured him.

"Ok well if you're sure," Nathan said not seeming overly upset that she had declined, if anything he seemed almost relieved as he walked out to find Haley and Zach.

Brooke sighed as she switched the TV to the Fox network and settled back to watch but she had forgotten that in the hope of attracting even more viewers than what they had already, they had delayed the start time by half an hour. Frustrated she flicked through the other stations but found nothing that held her attention. Switching it off the sudden silence revealed the sounds of laughter coming from the direction of the kitchen and curiosity getting the better of her she followed the sounds down the hallway.

The door was open and she hung back out of sight watching the way Lucas and Taylor chatted and laughed. It was clear to see the two of them had really formed a bond in the time since she had left and while she knew that as the parents of Zach it was to a certain extent to be expected she couldn't ignore the pang it caused deep within her heart.

She watched as Lucas playfully flicked at Taylor's bare legs with a dish towel causing her to squeal as she turned to look at him, a glare on her face, but it didn't last long as she burst into giggles.

"You do realise Mr Scott, that this means war?" she said threateningly advancing towards him a bucket of water she had been using to wash the vegetables for the salad in her hands.

"You wouldn't dare?" he laughed.

"Are you quite sure about that?" she asked her tone giving nothing away.

"Taylor," he said raising his hands in front of him defensively. "Tay," he tried again as she continued to approach; "Now you just remember who I am?"

"Oh yeah," she said "and who would that be?" her laughter bubbling out of her even as she continued to advance upon him.

"I'm the father of your only son," he said plaintively backing away as she got closer and closer.

The two were getting close to Brooke's position at the door and she knew that she ran the chance of the two of them seeing her but somehow she couldn't drag herself away.

"Tay," Lucas tried one last time, "Just think of the mess you'll have to clean up, you know how much you hate to clean."

"Oh trust me Luke this is one occasion where it will be worth it to get down on my hands and knees and…"

"Hands and knees huh?" Lucas said waggling his eyebrows at her. "Well this scenario just got a whole lot more interesting?"

She squealed in mock outrage, "You know I was going to say to scrub the floor," and with that she launched the bucket of water in his direction just as he ducked out of the way causing Brooke to wear the majority of it.

Her scream conveyed pure rage and there was no mistaking how genuine it was as Lucas and Taylor both looked in her direction in shock.

"Oh shit Brooke," Lucas said finally noticing his dripping ex-girlfriend standing at the door. "Um we didn't see you there," he tried to explain. "Did we Tay?" he said, Tay," he said again nudging her when she didn't respond.

When she still didn't answer he turned to look at her grimacing as he saw her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. He could see that she was trying hard to hold it in but he also knew that if he didn't get Brooke out of there right that second Taylor was going to explode with suppressed laughter.

"Um ah Brooke perhaps you should go upstairs and dry off. Do you want me to get you a towel or something?" he asked.

"I don't want anything from you, either of you," she snapped at them storming towards the staircase just as Taylor lost her battle with her laughter and began howling with mirth.

"Oh my God did you see her?" she asked, "Miss Perfect absolutely soaked, little bits of lettuce in her hair. That was the funniest thing I've seen in forever."

"Tay stop it," Lucas tried to intervene but to no effect. She continued to laugh hysterically clutching onto the bench in front of her for support.

"Did you see it?" she asked again.

"Tay," he said warningly.

"Oh come on Lucas you can't tell me that wasn't the funniest thing you've seen all year. The look on her face it was priceless."

"Taylor you said you were going to play nice while she was staying here."

"Hey I've been the perfect hostess it's not my fault if she decides to lurk around in the hallways. She was probably spying on us the jealous bitch."

"Who's a bitch mommy?" Zach asked entering the kitchen without being noticed by either of them. Nathan stood behind him looking amused at the look on Taylor's face as she realised she'd been overheard by her son.

"Oh great now you've got our son talking like you," Lucas said exasperatedly.

"Hey," Taylor protested, "I would never talk that way in front of him. "I didn't know he was there."

"Were you talking about Brooke again mommy? I heard you telling Aunt Haley that other day that…" he paused as he searched for the right words, "that Brooke is a…" before he could finish what he was going to say though Taylor leapt into action clamping a hand over her son's mouth and smiling nervously at Lucas.

"I swear I didn't know he was there," she said again glancing around the occupants of the kitchen who were all regarding her curiously. Haley had also entered the kitchen by now and although she couldn't be sure for a moment Taylor could have sworn she saw the tiniest of grins pulling at the corners of her sister's mouth.

Maybe it was the fact that she was the only other person in the room besides herself and Zach who actually knew just what she had referred to Brooke as the other day, maybe it was something else but all Taylor knew that it was good to see Haley smiling again. That almost made the look on Lucas' face as he glared at her now worth it. God if Lucas was pissed with her now for teaching Zach the word 'bitch' she hated to think what his reaction would be if he was to hear just what sort of words she had used to describe his ex-girlfriend just a few days before.

For the most part she had been trying hard to put what had happened in the past between her and Brooke to one side while they tried to help Haley but all of the old resentments were still bubbling under the surface. Resentments that stirred not only from what Brooke had done and said to Taylor herself in times gone by but she also knew some things from Lucas that gave her cause to dislike the other woman intensely.

She knew though that she had to do her best to keep the peace with the other woman not only for Haley's sake but for the sanity of just about everyone else involved in this situation. She could freely admit to just how bad things got when she declared war on someone and the fact that it was Brooke Davis, well it was no secret the brunette woman gave as good as she got.

"Well I guess someone better go check on her," Lucas said heading towards the door, before he could get far though Taylor grabbed his arm stopping his movement.

"You better let me go Lucas, I think its best if she and I declare peace again before dinner. I guess I have to give her an apology."

"Taylor you just said it was the funniest thing you've seen all year. You really expect me to believe that you are now ready to go and apologise to her?" Lucas questioned her warily.

"I never said she deserves an apology just that I have to give her one. I still think it was funny," she said a grin coming across her face again as the image flitted once more through her mind. "But if it means keeping the peace I'll go apologise. I'll even pretend to mean it," she said cheekily before leaving the room in search of the other woman.

She stopped outside Brooke's door mentally composing herself before entering, she knew if she still had that shit eating grin on her face when she walked in there things could easily turn nasty. She wouldn't put it above Brooke to actually get physical in her rage and well Taylor herself had never been one to shy away from a fight.

She knocked lightly on the door walking in without waiting for an answer to find Brooke towelling her hair furiously dressed in nothing but a bathrobe.

"What do you want Taylor?" she asked not pausing in her furious motions.

"I just wanted to say I was sorry Brooke. We honestly didn't see you there," Taylor said doing her best to look contrite even as her eyes lit up with mirth.

"Bullshit," Brooke answered her dropping the towel and stalking angrily towards the other woman. "You forget that I know you Taylor James and you are not the least bit sorry about what happened. You may not have done it deliberately, you may not have actually seen me standing there but you aren't the least bit upset about me wearing that bucket of water."

"Brooke look I came up here to apologise."

"Save it," Brooke cut in again. "I don't want any of your fake ass apologies. They're probably no more real then your boobs. You know they didn't move an inch even when you started jumping around the place when Lucas hit you with that dish towel."

Brooke saw the laughter that had been dancing in the other woman's eyes mere moments before disappear to be replaced by something far darker and far more dangerous.

"Brooke it's my son's birthday and I don't want to fight, it's not fair to him but you just remember that I'm onto you."

"Oh yeah and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Brooke demanded.

"Exactly how long were you standing out there in the hallway Brooke?"

Brooke looked at her aghast as she saw the triumphant look come into Taylor's eyes. "What are you talking about?" Brooke tried to back track "I was just walking past and next thing I knew I was saturated."

"Oh really?" she asked. "So what exactly would you know about the way my boobs move or not move as you insinuated if you were just passing by. You see Brooke I'm not stupid I know damn well that there must have been at least five minutes between when Lucas flicked my legs and when I threw that water. You just stood there watching us didn't you? God Brooke how long were you there? That's sick you know."

"I was just coming to get a drink and I saw you two and I didn't want to interrupt ok? There was nothing creepy about it I just wanted a drink," she explained desperately.

"If you say so," Taylor said not entirely convinced. "Now I'm going to leave you to get ready, dinner is in half an hour."

"I'm not really that hungry," Brooke told her.

"I don't care if you're hungry or not. It's Zach's birthday and if you want to stay in this house you will make an effort for his birthday. Now don't be late, he's just about jumping out of his skin waiting to open his presents." Without another word she turned and walked out of the room going back downstairs to join the rest of the family.

Nathan and Lucas stood at the grill drinking beer and cooking the steaks and burgers under their care. Haley sat at the table with Zach in her lap, Taylor sitting next to her. Haley didn't exactly look happy but she was definitely more relaxed then she had been in the weeks since she had arrived. It seemed being surrounded with family and friends was finally starting to have the effect the doctors had assured Taylor it would. They had spent so long trying to convince her when they first called her, begging her to allow Haley to come and stay with her in their childhood home.

She had spoken to them several times since Haley had arrived trying to make them understand that being here really hadn't seemed to be helping her sister at all. Each time though they had begged her to have patience assuring her that if she just gave it time she would see some sort of improvement in Haley's demeanour. Finally it seemed that day had arrived.

Brooke walked out to the table her hair freshly dried, a sundress fitting her to perfection and casual sandals on her feet. Lucas looked up as she came out sending an apologetic smile in her direction, grateful that she seemed prepared to put the incident behind her at least for the moment.

She walked over to the table barely glancing in Taylor's direction as she sat down opposite Haley and Zach smiling at the child in Haley's lap.

"So Zach what do you think is over there in that huge pile of presents?" she asked him listening intently as he began to rattle off a huge list of possibilities ranging from the plausible to the ridiculous. None of the women at the table could contain their laughter as he confided his hope that one of the boxes contained a motor bike.

The mood around the table was relaxed as the guys brought over the freshly grilled meat ready for them all to devour. The only moment that caused any of them to be slightly uncomfortable was when Zach demanded that Nathan come and sit beside him where he still perched in Haley's lap.

He watched Haley waiting for some sign of whether or not he should give into his nephew's wishes but she gave nothing away and eventually he walked over taking the seat on the bench next to her. He thought he felt her stiffen initially as his leg brushed against hers under the table as he sat but she relaxed again almost instantly and he wondered if perhaps he had imagined it.

Lucas sat down next to Taylor reaching across to tickle Zach briefly causing the boy to erupt in fits of laughter. Taylor fixed a plate for her son getting him to agree easily to the salad she placed on his plate with the simple promise that if he ate some of it he could open his presents as soon as they all finished eating.

They finished eating as darkness fell around them and Taylor disappeared into the kitchen reappearing minutes later with a birthday cake complete with candles glowing brightly. Zach wiggled excitedly in Haley's lap as Taylor set the cake down before him and they all began singing Happy Birthday to the boy.

"Don't forget to make a wish," Nathan leaned over and whispered in the boy's ear and Zach closed his eyes screwing his face up as he came up with the perfect wish. "I wish…" he paused for a moment before continuing. "I wish Aunt Haley can live with us in Tree Hill forever, well as long as she doesn't get sad again," he qualified.

He turned to look at her. "Will you Aunt Haley?" he asked a pleading look in his eyes.

"I uh, well I'll try Zach," she promised hoping that it would be enough for him.

"Cool," Zach said turning in her lap to hug her tightly. "Can I blow out the candles now Mom?" he asked turning back to his mother.

"Yes Zach you can blow them out now," she told him as Lucas stood on the opposite side of the table camera at the ready to record yet another milestone in his son's life.

They all cheered as after three attempts Zach finally succeeded in blowing out all of the candles and grinned proudly.

"Look Aunt Haley its ice-cream cake," he said excitedly and Haley looked up in time to see Lucas grinning conspiratorially at her.

"Guess you get that ice-cream cake after all Hales," he said much to the bemusement of the other occupants of the table.

She smiled though as they silently shared the memory of her indignant response to missing out on said cake at Jessie's tenth birthday party.

"Ok you two, no way do you get to keep secrets from the rest of us." Taylor said, "Now tell the rest of us just what that was about."

"Go ahead Hales," Lucas said encouragingly. "It's your story to tell, you can try to paint me as the bad guy again."

She smiled nervously as she looked at everyone else all watching her with rapt anticipation. Even Zach had craned his head around to look at her from his position in her lap. "Come on Aunt Haley, tell us before my cake melts," he begged her.

"Ah well ah I guess I can tell you," she said her voice stumbling slightly as she began to tell the tale of her and Lucas' escapade on that particular occasion. Slowly her voice grew stronger as she lost herself in the story she was regaling them with and as she told of her fury at missing out on Jessie's cake they all erupted into laughter and she allowed herself to join in a little.

"That was like that time, do you remember Haley when Mom wouldn't let you go to the boat burning festival. You were so angry you tried to climb out the window and go anyway and I caught you and told Mom. She was so pissed with you. Do you remember?"

"Yeah of course I remember," Haley answered "you'd think that would have been enough to stop me trying it again when Lucas wanted to show me the golf course but I guess I had to learn the hard way."

"Did you really climb out the window Aunt Haley?" Zach asked wide eyed with amazement.

"Don't you even think about it," Lucas and Taylor both broke in instantaneously causing everyone to laugh again.

Taylor cut up the cake and passed it around as they continued to relate tales of their childhood. Zach's chin was coated in dribbles of ice-cream as he shovelled it into his mouth.

Finally much to Zach's relief everyone finished eating and it was time for his presents. As predicted he was still surprised as he opened up the brightly wrapped package from Nathan and pulled out a Lakers basketball jersey complete with signature from Kobe Bryant his favourite player.

"Oh wow Uncle Nate I've got one of these already but it's too small for me now because I growed so much this year."

"Really, you already have one," Nate asked feigning ignorance.

"Yeah but this one is really cool. Look Mom its even got writing on it," he said noticing the signature on the back. "This is so cool," he said immediately pulling it over his head and jumping down from Haley's lap to let everyone admire it.

"Hey buddy don't you think you better open the rest of these?" Lucas asked indicating the pile of presents still waiting for his attention.

"Oh yeah," Zach responded excitedly running back to the table.

Haley watched on slightly nervously as Zach grabbed her present from the pile. She had asked Taylor to pick it up when she went out earlier and although Taylor had assured her that Zach would love it she was still uncertain. She knew nothing about what little boys liked or for that matter little girls either. When it came to children she was at a loss.

Zach ripped the paper off excitedly and Haley felt herself literally hold her breath as the young boy fell silent. Reaching into the box he lifted out the DVD holding it reverently up for everyone to see.

"Look Daddy and Uncle Nate its Manny and Sid," he said his voice overflowing with excitement.

"Oh wow dude it's the new Ice Age movie. That's so cool," Nathan said appreciatively.

"Can I watch it now please?" he begged turning towards Taylor. "Please mommy I really want to watch it now." He turned to look at Haley, "Will you come and watch it with me Aunt Haley, please," his pleading tone turning towards his aunt.

Before Haley could answer though, Taylor broke in again. "Zach you still have to open presents from your Dad and one from Brooke," she told him.

He needed no further encouragement and ripped into the package Lucas had bought him. Seeing the writing on the box Taylor grimaced "Lucas that better not be what I think it is. We agreed he wasn't getting one till he was older."

"Sorry Tay," he said sounding anything but apologetic, "I couldn't resist," he shrugged his shoulders watching his son practically jumping up and down with excitement at the sight of his Xbox.

Finally he was left with only a rather large box that Brooke handed proudly to him smirking slightly at Taylor as she did so.

As soon as he opened it Taylor leapt to her feet pointing a finger at Brooke accusingly. "Oh hell no, you did not just buy my four year old son a skate board."

Lucas grabbed onto her arm doing his best to calm her down. "Well you know what Brooke," Taylor said "I hope you're prepared to be out here with him everyday teaching him to ride the damn thing because that's the only way he gets to use it. There is no way in the world my son is riding around on that...that, well its hell on wheels. He'll kill himself riding around on that thing."

"Taylor for goodness sake have some faith in your child. He's not a baby. He'll be fine," Brooke told her.

"Oh I know he will be," Taylor said finally calming down. "He's going to be just fine because you're going to make sure he can use it safely and that box better contain every single piece of padding known to man because if he comes home with so much as a bruise you better pack your bags and get the hell out of town."

"Wow mommy you're a bitch too," Zach said matter of factly.

Everyone looked at him in shock for a moment before bursting into laughter, the tension of the moment well and truly broken.

The rest of the night passed with plenty of laughter and happy memories from days gone past which continued well into the night even after Zach went to bed. Although Haley looked uncomfortable at times, she stayed downstairs with them joining in occasionally but mostly content to just sit and watch.

Nathan watched her unobtrusively most of the night, noting how at times dark shadows would pass across her eyes and he would know without having to be told that she was once again thinking of Chris. She would fight through it though seemingly determined to forget about it all for at least one night and he found himself hoping once again that perhaps this time it would last. This time nothing would happen to throw her off balance again but he knew it was a vain hope. Haley had a long way to go and there was no denying it, no matter what had happened tonight he knew that her healing process was only just beginning. He just hoped that whatever happened to upset her next would at least be a few days or more from now. It was good to see her looking relaxed again and more than anything he wanted to see that continue.


End file.
